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(FOR BOTH GENDERS) Does "fat" turn you off when looking for a mate?
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Posted 6/15/12

squirrel3d wrote:


SilverxButterfly wrote:


squirrel3d wrote:

Nope if the "fat" is in the right places and she's attractive looking. However, for me she must also have a personality that makes her stand out. So she can be chubby and still look beautiful. It's true, you can search many big looking beauties on google.

Yes I am that sweet of a guy to give a chubby looking lady a chance. So you, don't worry about your looks. If you think you need to lose a little weight to look better, go for it.

But if you know that you look good now, then don't change who you are just to please some shallow dude who'll only like you if you have the figure of a popcicle stick to get inside your pants.

You want a guy in your life that loves you the way you are now. He sees past your faults. Being yourself and having individuality that truly makes you stand out from everyone else is key. And plus, there's plenty of chubby looking ladies out there that has boyfriends....don't forget that.


I wish there were more guys like you in the world.



Thank you. Seriously that means a lot to me.

It's just that I see myself being with a lovely lady with some chubbiness on her. You don't need to look like a popcicle stick to be beautiful. That look turns me off.


Wow, that's incredibly kind and reasonable of you! Like, seriously!

But that also brings me to back to memories of my adolescent days. Now I have confidence in myself and my appearance. I know that I am perfectly healthy and how to eat in moderation but it's okay to have chocolate every now and then! But when I was thirteen I knew none of that, and I think a lot of females agree with me when they remember their early teenage hood.

I was in an environment with a lot of petite girls. (Most of my friends were under 5 feet, even in late middle school. Our grade was unusually petite.) I came from a family where the females of the family naturally have more curves than other. That did a great deal to my confidence for the negative. Another thing was one of my best friends who was big-boned. Not overweight, but just big-boned. She became bulimic. Eventually she recovered but I was excessively worrying about my weight. Now, looking back at pictures, I was just fine, haha! But I also remember how I had a friend who was like a popsicle stick and she herself would also say that she had too much chub on her. Not at all. No joke. Not at ALL. You could wrap your pinkie finger and thumb around her thin little wrist easily.

So, what I'd like to say is, I wish that I heard those words back when I was a "tweenager". I really respect you for that.
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23 / F / ireland
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Posted 6/15/12
Depends, 'chubby' is grand. Giant beer-bellies are not, especially on boys around my age.
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25 / M / Nova Scotia, Canada
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Posted 6/15/12


I don't really see any problems here. None of them appear to surpass my "EEEKK!" factor, not even the lady furthest to the right. That's just taking first-time encounters into account, of course.

It's easy to get to know and like anyone you spend some time with.

The way I see some people eat, especially in the States, is devoid of reason. Someone who weighs 450 pounds but also eats at fast food restaurants at least once a day? That's a total mystery .. it couldn't possibly be the diet causing weight gain. people who live like this and who live in denial exist. They're in an entirely separate category from diseases .. or what have you.

If you drink nothing but juice and soda pop and frequently eat absolute crap, then it isn't a mystery. By extension of that, people shouldn't say anything until they've completely ceased that kind of bad diet. There are exceptions, of course, like I said. If a person does eat relatively healthily and exercises - yet still can't lose weight - sometimes it's a matter of asking yourself whether or not it's actually necessary to lose weight. Usually, those women are beautiful as is and there's no need.

I see plenty of guys with pudge at the gym who could pick me up and rip me in half. Once again .. how is it necessarily a bad thing if your doctor tells you you're healthy?

It ultimately comes down to self-honesty and knowing your own body well.
Posted 6/15/12 , edited 6/15/12
Well, honestly, if he was a little bit chubby, I wouldn't mind. There are a lot of cute chubby guys out there. ^_^

And the nicest chubby guys I've seen all have girlfriends~
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36 / M / Orlando
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Posted 6/15/12
I agree with the above posters. A chubby girl can still be attractive, in my opinion. Especially if she is .... voluptuous. But there's a line. And it's not about being shallow. A relationship comes with physical intimacy. And I can't speak for women. But for a guy, there is a certain part of the body that simply refuses to cooperate if there is no attraction involved. And that's just embarrassing for everyone.
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Posted 6/15/12

ChibiMonstress wrote:

But also, personally, I have an easier time talking to not the most attractive people. So, I myself will have an easier time getting to know someone and begin to develop true feelings for someone who is "chubby" than I will with my infatuation for a "hot" guy. For me I'm easily intimidated and shy around attractive people.


This may sound a little out there, but have you ever tried meditation? For certain insufferable reasons, I had to take up meditation a couple years back. A neat thing I noticed is I'm able to act without a hitch in front of others regardless of how intimidating their good looks are. Once you get to the point where you are constantly meditating, you can let emotions pass right by without effort. It's something to think about if you're having trouble approaching you're type. It's pretty difficult at first but there are simple light excercises that you do at first to ready your body that when you stick with them, getting into real meditation is actually a cinch. Also, if you're like me and are not into anything religious or spiritual, you can still meditate as it has nothing to do with these beliefs, even if it stems from them. Like I said, something to think about. I can always give pointers on how to start if you are interested, but best part about mediation is it's actually very independent.

Posted 6/15/12
Fat factor isn't all that's involved in my view. When I look at big girls trying to fit into skinny jeans.. muffin top. -barf-
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24 / M
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Posted 6/15/12
a little extra "meat on the bones" isn't a bad thing ....but to be frank

but i don't date no fat chicks
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34 / M
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Posted 6/15/12

ChibiMonstress wrote:


squirrel3d wrote:


SilverxButterfly wrote:


squirrel3d wrote:

Nope if the "fat" is in the right places and she's attractive looking. However, for me she must also have a personality that makes her stand out. So she can be chubby and still look beautiful. It's true, you can search many big looking beauties on google.

Yes I am that sweet of a guy to give a chubby looking lady a chance. So you, don't worry about your looks. If you think you need to lose a little weight to look better, go for it.

But if you know that you look good now, then don't change who you are just to please some shallow dude who'll only like you if you have the figure of a popcicle stick to get inside your pants.

You want a guy in your life that loves you the way you are now. He sees past your faults. Being yourself and having individuality that truly makes you stand out from everyone else is key. And plus, there's plenty of chubby looking ladies out there that has boyfriends....don't forget that.


I wish there were more guys like you in the world.



Thank you. Seriously that means a lot to me.

It's just that I see myself being with a lovely lady with some chubbiness on her. You don't need to look like a popcicle stick to be beautiful. That look turns me off.


Wow, that's incredibly kind and reasonable of you! Like, seriously!

But that also brings me to back to memories of my adolescent days. Now I have confidence in myself and my appearance. I know that I am perfectly healthy and how to eat in moderation but it's okay to have chocolate every now and then! But when I was thirteen I knew none of that, and I think a lot of females agree with me when they remember their early teenage hood.

I was in an environment with a lot of petite girls. (Most of my friends were under 5 feet, even in late middle school. Our grade was unusually petite.) I came from a family where the females of the family naturally have more curves than other. That did a great deal to my confidence for the negative. Another thing was one of my best friends who was big-boned. Not overweight, but just big-boned. She became bulimic. Eventually she recovered but I was excessively worrying about my weight. Now, looking back at pictures, I was just fine, haha! But I also remember how I had a friend who was like a popsicle stick and she herself would also say that she had too much chub on her. Not at all. No joke. Not at ALL. You could wrap your pinkie finger and thumb around her thin little wrist easily.

So, what I'd like to say is, I wish that I heard those words back when I was a "tweenager". I really respect you for that.



Thank you.

I wish I could get opportunities to say these things in RL, to a lady with a little chubbiness to her.
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Posted 6/15/12
Nope.
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22 / F / Underneath the bed
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Posted 6/15/12
Honestly, I used to be very shallow and superficial about those kinds of things but now i think entirely different. I have a few guys in my life that are "chubby" or "fat" but it doesnt bother me anymore because in all honesty its really their personality that i have come to respect.
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29 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 6/16/12
I've been with a couple girls who were a bit chubby. Around Adele's (the singer) figure, also with pretty faces, just gained the freshman 15 or 30 or whatever and had a hard time losing some of that weight due to working office jobs or intense schooling and studying.

It wasn't much a problem for me, if I like you then I like you. But I could tell that for them, as a woman, it was a big issue. Especially when they constantly compared themselves to their thinner girlfriends.

With that said, I realize women tend to have higher fat composition in their body and have a harder time in general losing fat compared to me. So I can sympathize. However, if you're just going to let yourself go without caring about your health or how you are presented in public, then don't expect me or other people in your life to care for you.
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103 / F / USA
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Posted 6/16/12
It really annoys me when people say "Just don't get fat.". Sometimes that really isn't an option. My entire family is short and petite but I have one aunt who is 5'11 and very large. She has a pituitary disorder and your pituitary effects a lot of your hormones and your thyroid. I have seen what she has gone through and the way people look at her. Especially if we go out to eat. She isn't stuffing herself. As a matter a fact I eat more than her and I am 1/3 her size.

I also was in a car accident when I was younger. Several operations and 6 mos. in a wheelchair and I had gained 50 lbs. (the Vicodin munchies are a bitch). I am only 5'2 so 50 lbs. is a lot on my frame. It took 2 years to lose that weight.

A persons weight doesn't always have something to do with a lack of self control or self respect. And if it does there are probably psychological factors at play.

Honestly I prefer being a healthy weight and I exercise everyday to stay that way but it isn't to attract a mate. I have been attracted to both large and small men, muscular and scrawny, all types actually. I have no idea what "type" I go for. But once I go for someone they have to keep me with their personality. I have dated gorgeous idiots, it didn't last.

Bravo to all those who talked about being able to see a persons inner and outer beauty despite some extra pounds.
Posted 6/16/12

DeviantBehavior wrote:

It really annoys me when people say "Just don't get fat.".


Or how about we face the fact that most people become fat because of their unstoppable mouths? Sure there are some uncommon diseases that cause it, but people aren't balloons, we don't just gain weight by breathing.


Bravo to all those who talked about being able to see a persons inner and outer beauty despite some extra pounds.


Just some extra pounds is far from fat. I sense too much ambiguity.
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Posted 6/16/12

underlock wrote:


DeviantBehavior wrote:

It really annoys me when people say "Just don't get fat.".


Or how about we face the fact that most people become fat because of their unstoppable mouths? Sure there are some uncommon diseases that cause it, but people aren't balloons, we don't just gain weight by breathing.


Bravo to all those who talked about being able to see a persons inner and outer beauty despite some extra pounds.


Just some extra pounds is far from fat. I sense too much ambiguity.


What exactly did you find ambiguous? I said "some extra pounds" because people were talking about everything from the freshman 15 to "leviathan class". When you love someone who has had a weight problem all their life through no fault of an "unstoppable mouth" it is hard to listen to people be insensitive. And, like I said, even if you ate your way to that state it may have other underlying psychological reasons. Being judgemental of those people doesn't help them get over whatever might have started them down that road. I simply brought up that people gain weight by other means than simply overeating and being able to see past a persons waist size is a good thing.

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