The power to turn doorknobs with your mind.

Actually, if you think about...some of these aren't so bad:
-It might make time, but this is useful for torture or for causing a slow and painful death.
-Yeah...this one took me a few minutes, but you could actually use this one to bypass mirrors and security cameras, since they don't use direct eye contact. Would actually be quite useful for those in espionage.
-Human Hydrant, anyone?
-Coconuts hurt. Also, world-wide hero for ending hunger.
-This one could cause damage to those around you, making you a dangerous around your enemies.

The "no motivation to do anything at all" superpower.

The ability to make shit threads.

The ability to read minds only while you're sleeping

Something akin to narcolepsy.

The ability to make awesome origami.

The ability to communicate in nothing but emoticons.

The ability to grow absurdly long hairs on your knuckles.

I wouldnt mind the ability to manifest any fruit

The ability to trip on a flat surface.

What makes a power a SUPER power?
Without boundaries we could come up with anything! Maybe that's the point.

Okay, well the most useless I can think of is:
THE ABILITY TO STOP YOUR OWN BODY FROM PROCESSING OXYGEN.
You'd still breath, so gasses and the like would still kill you, it's only use would be to kill yourself.


As for what you said:
- The water one could be used to give people hypothermia or to prevent the seas from boiling should the sun expand.

- The invisibility one could be used for breaking into places, as cameras aren't people therefore they wouldn't be able to pick up your image.

- I'm pretty sure we can salivate already so that's not a super power. And it's pretty useful.

- Being able to manifest an infinite amount of fruit could prevent world hunger and significantly help out the poor and poverse. HOW THE HECK IS THAT USELESS?

- The accident one is probably the least cool out of the ones you've suggested but you could still get a job as a tester of safety for experimental and new work environments. I imagine those pay pretty well.

So there you have it, your list of 'useless' powers are all rather useful.

The power to... move you

The moisture power from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog...the power to make things damp

Fonzies power of being able to snap ur fingers n girls appear

Well, my friends and I made a team of "super" heroes a few years back called the League of Ordinary Gentlemen. Some of these powers are actually a little useful, but they are rather funny. Note that aside from Sexy Man, all these guys' powers are passive, and they have no control over them.

Dead Serious: the power to not die, but he does not have high toughness or regeneration - he just doesn't die.

Knight Light: he glows in the dark, not brightly, but like a glo stick.

The Human Popsicle: he melts, he freezes, and he comes in twenty-one different flavors.

Google Translator: he can understand any language, but very badly, and he can't speak them.

The Barberarian: his hair grows really really fast when he's angry.

Sexy Man: he is very sexy, but that's not his power - it's just the way he is. However, he has the power to explode… …once.

the power to never be able to sleep but you will still get tired

I can't think of any but I enjoyed reading everyone's ideas. Finally a thread that is worth reading every page!