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Your Favourite Chuck Norris Facts
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23 / M / In Rainbows
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Posted 6/21/12 , edited 6/21/12
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

Chuck Norris Only Masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris can play Xbox Live on a Sega Genesis.

Chuck Norris has a Myspace account... on Facebook.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Posted 6/21/12
Chuck Norris can wheelie a unicycle
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29 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 6/21/12
After Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, it thereafter became know as just "The Islands."
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Posted 6/21/12
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24 / M / Indiana
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Posted 6/21/12
When Chuck Norris battles Bruce Lee.. he loses.

HEY-YO!
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27 / M
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Posted 6/21/12
People squeeze olives to make olive oil. Chuck Norris squeezes babies to make baby oil

Champions: The breakfast of Chuck Norris.
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M
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Posted 6/21/12
Chuck Norris got raped by Bruce lee..
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28 / F / pLaNeT eArTh???
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Posted 6/21/12
There once was a street named Chuck Norris but they changed it, because nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
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31 / M
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Posted 6/21/12 , edited 6/21/12
Chuck norris doesn't fight, he allows you to loose.
Chuck Norris doesn't swim water just likes beign around him.
The speed of light is jealous of how fast Chuck Norris is.
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23 / M / Las Vegas,NV
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Posted 6/21/12
when chuck norris jumps into a pool he doesnt get wet..the water gets chuck norrised


Posted 6/21/12
The boogieman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he sleeps.
kay807 
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27 / M / New York
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Posted 6/21/12
Bruce Lee owned him.
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26 / M / on your lap, purring
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Posted 6/21/12 , edited 6/21/12

Maiden_aya wrote:

There once was a street named Chuck Norris but they changed it, because nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.




hahhahA AHAHHAAHAHHA AhhahahahahHAHAHAAH


WOW this brings back so many memories. This was one of my favorites back in the day.

My other favorite is semi - NSFW:



HERE goes



last warning:









edit: Oh wow this is random, but does anyone remember the work out machine that Chuck Norris advertised for back in the 90s? It was called Total Gym or something? My dad has one of those in his basement. I worked out on it almost every night as a teenager.
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20 / F / Strawberry Fields
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Posted 6/21/12
Chuck Norris approved!!
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29 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 6/22/12
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the world down.
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