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Your Favourite Chuck Norris Facts
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19 / M / Chandler, Arizona
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Posted 6/22/12 , edited 6/22/12
chuck norris know what comes after Z
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42 / M / Where I am
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Posted 6/22/12 , edited 6/22/12
Chuck Norris conceived the Universe. That's why it's called the Big Bang.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in creationism, there are just things he hasn't killed yet.

There is no global warming it's just a Chuck Norris workout.

Fist of the Northstar was named after Chuck Norris.

I before E except after Chuck, and E never precedes Chuck.

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31 / M / texas yall!
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Posted 6/22/12 , edited 6/22/12
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer too bad he has never cried.
Rajyrr 
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27 / M / Nova Scotia, Canada
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death simply hasn't worked up the courage to inform him yet.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After three days of intense agony and pain .. the snake died.
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
A zombie bit Chuck Norris, and then turned into another Chuck Norris.
Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Chuck's got hotmail.

[email protected]

^
all i can think of.
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42 / M / Where I am
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Bears play dead to discourage a Chuck Norris attack.

Chuck Norris laughs in the face of the most interesting man in the world.

George Carlin worships Joe Pesci, but Joe Pesci worships Chuck Norris.

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27 / M
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
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26 / M / Euless,TX
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Chuck Norris was once being chased by a mob. Chuck Norris then turned around and said your surrounded.
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25 / M
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12

drips702 wrote:

when chuck norris jumps into a pool he doesnt get wet..the water gets chuck norrised




my dear dear friend . . . the water gets CHUCKED!

CHUCK NORRIS TYPES IN ALL CAPS, spams, doesn't censor his posts, and STILL doesn't get banned.

He attacks sharks when they bleed, fists make speed of light wish it was faster.
Abe may have freed the slaves, but CHUCK is everyone's master!

Take that!

P.S. he makes woodchucks wish they could chuck. I'm just sayin'.
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26 / M / My house, probabl...
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Bruce Lee defeated Chuck Norris in a fight

Bruce Lee dies a mysterious death
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42 / M / Where I am
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
The original script of Harry Potter included the Dumbledore's wand to be Elder Tree with a lock of Chuck Norris hair core.
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41 / M / Manitoba
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
bhl88 
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30 / M / USA
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/23/12
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds YOU.

Chuck Norris doesn't divide by Zero, Zero divides by Chuck Norris.

Apparently, he doesnt move a muscle to go places. The universe moves for him.

There are 1,214 objects in an average room that Chuck Norris can kill you with, including the room itself.

Ask Chuck Norris what time it is and he'll always say, "Two seconds till." When you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

The power of his roundhouse kick, which is powerful enough to break the time-space barrier, knock out Amelia Earhart, and crash her plane: Probably because the amount of energy released in one of his kicks is equivalent to the amount released in the Big Bang.

A poster of Chuck Norris keeps crimes away.

Chuck Norris went into a knife fight... The knife lost.

Handpicked by the man himself:
*pushups is here already on the first page*

There are no steroids on baseball, only players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger by yelling: "Bang!".

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

When Chuck Norris sends in his tax forms, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes. EVER!

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records, it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

*was picked already: Boogeyman on the first page*

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming "Law & Order" are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

*something about cancer on the second page?*
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49 / M
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Posted 6/23/12 , edited 6/24/12
Last year there was a Biographical Movie about Chuck Norris...written, directed and procuced by Chuck Norris...and starring Chuck Norris...but was never released because Chuck Norris felt the actor playing Chuck Norris was too much of a pussy...
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