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Your Favourite Chuck Norris Facts
Tarya 
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37 / F / Virginia, US
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Posted 6/23/12
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless telephone.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris runs Windows 7 on his Etch-a-Sketch.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.


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M / New Mexico USA
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Posted 6/23/12
Chuck Norris sucks.
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Posted 6/23/12
Fuck Chuck, I am better.
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M / New Mexico USA
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Posted 6/23/12

D01BCDN3 wrote:

Fuck Chuck, I am better.


true dat
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23 / M / Las Vegas,NV
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Posted 6/23/12

bajukie wrote:


drips702 wrote:

when chuck norris jumps into a pool he doesnt get wet..the water gets chuck norrised




my dear dear friend . . . the water gets CHUCKED!

CHUCK NORRIS TYPES IN ALL CAPS, spams, doesn't censor his posts, and STILL doesn't get banned.

He attacks sharks when they bleed, fists make speed of light wish it was faster.
Abe may have freed the slaves, but CHUCK is everyone's master!

Take that!

P.S. he makes woodchucks wish they could chuck. I'm just sayin'.


close enough lol
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17 / M / boys locker room
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Posted 6/24/12
How old are you kids. Fuck, I'm thirteen and these are still old, lulz. Come at me with your reused "if you don't care why are you posting" shit.
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23 / M / In Rainbows
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Posted 6/24/12 , edited 6/24/12

KleinerSkollexxx wrote:

How old are you kids. Fuck, I'm thirteen and these are still old, lulz. Come at me with your reused "if you don't care why are you posting" shit.


I have an idea! Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself!
Oh You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!
You're one load your mum should have swallowed.
where is she?
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30 / M / texas yall!
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Posted 6/24/12

KleinerSkollexxx wrote:

How old are you kids. Fuck, I'm thirteen and these are still old, lulz. Come at me with your reused "if you don't care why are you posting" shit.


why the fuck are you in the boy's locker room? you should prob stop hiding in the lockers... peeping is illegal
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25 / M
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Posted 6/24/12
Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris
Banned
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36 / M / The Void.
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Posted 6/24/12
Chuck Norris is an alien human hybrid, just like me.
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24 / M / 3D world
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Posted 6/24/12
Always fun to read all the posts on a chuck norris topic ;p
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27 / M
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Posted 6/24/12
Chuck Norris will never suffer a heart attack. His heart is not that stupid.
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27 / Naked in a pine tree
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Posted 6/24/12
Chuck Norris invented grammar with one finger.
Banned
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36 / M / The Void.
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Posted 6/24/12
I'm going to murder Chuck Norris. That is a fact.
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41 / F / Now I'm in VA...d...
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Posted 6/24/12
Chuck Norris is so bad ass, when he takes a dump into a clogged toilet, it can flush again!
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