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Why Are all The Good Guys Either Taken Or Gay??
48131 cr points
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M/F - Michigan
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Posted 8/19/12

Kiune wrote:

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but i know my problem is i'm really passive. I'm a pretty normal person, maybe a bit over caring and willing to please when it comes to relationships (i think this is where my last relationship broke down), All in all, pretty average. Hell, even brown hair brown eyes 5'10" type of average, not amazingly attractive either (although feel free to tell me other wise)

I just don't put myself out there. If there's a group of people i'm talking to with, lets say, 2 girls and 2 guys plus me, i'll be sitting and listening. Just enjoying the conversation, watching facial expressions and enjoying the company. Not in a creepy way mind haha, i just tend to take a very go with the flow mentality. If another guy wants to talk to a girl i want to talk to, i tend to not compete for attention.

The combination of not standing out with looks, and not trying to make myself stand out through actions means i get overlooked all the time : )

However i know i'm excellent at listening, and very easy to open up to. I can easily hold a conversation for 4+ hours without either party getting bored if he/she is willing (reading back over this it sounds like a bit of a chore, but getting lost in conversation is one of the best things in life).

I like to think i'm a good guy, but i feel a lot of people (myself included) are looking for something special, like a musician etc. so the normal people don't get seen through the glow of that Alpha male or the Stunning girl.

Bit of a wall of text, sorry. : )


That is so totally me... even though I am out of practice in the talking to a girl for 4 hours + department.

Also made this pic just now for humour's sake:

Posted 8/19/12 , edited 8/19/12
Welll I'm neither taken nor gay so your friend was obviously wrong.
Posted 8/19/12
All of those nice men that aren't taken or gay are too busy spending all of their time crying about how they're in the friend zone to be involved with you.
Kiune 
12151 cr points
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23 / M / UK
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Posted 8/19/12 , edited 8/19/12

toxxin wrote:


You sir are a god among mortals. Though I know how you feel as I too tend to be the observer of the group.


Hah thanks : ) I admit i felt like i was just rambling to no one. As always, nice to know i'm not the only one.


kitsuneshoujo wrote:


That is so totally me... even though I am out of practice in the talking to a girl for 4 hours + department.



Me too!, it just happened a lot a year or so ago when i had a large friend group. We went out to a pub we liked every friday afternoon/evening, and just sat and talked over the course of 4-5 hours. Sometimes it was just me and my best friend at the time (who was female). I also met people when i was a younger teenager and spent many long conversations on msn about life and past problems. I found out this way that more people then you think have very dark pasts.

92 cr points
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21 / F / Mexico
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Posted 8/19/12 , edited 8/19/12
well but you guys need to act and not just wait for the perfect moment to show up. Some good guys are alone because they are too shy to open up and let that person know they are worth a try. And yeah some girls don't value that but some do.
8485 cr points
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F / Sasebo, Nagasaki-shi
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Posted 8/19/12
It probably should also be noted that girls can be just as oblivious to your affection as some of you guys are to a girl's attentions. It again, goes both ways.

I think this comes from a society in which we spend more time being apart and talking through social media and technology and less time observing.

Seriously, the art observation has nearly disappeared from the face of the planet. It's kind of sad, really.
44585 cr points
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28 / M / Illinois
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Posted 8/19/12
General law of relationships: Men and women are two completely different creatures whose minds work so differently, that they'll eventually try to decipher one another. In the end, the most simplest of answers gets boggled down by needless complications of a vast amount of questions and concerns.

Shyness, self-consciousness, lack of motivation, fear... there are many reasons WHY nobody can "find" the one. Because of the idea that there is "The One." There are many people out there for one person.

Keeping an open mind and heart is what helps you find someone compatible. Listening to your physical urges and by looking at potential significant others through the eyes of today's society fads that are out will blind you from looking within. That term Friend-Zoned, its a common expression because it's true.

Ugh, I can go on and on... but meh, general advice to the masses never really works. Usually it'll turn out tl;dr or something. Hope someone reads this and understands...
2113 cr points
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28 / M
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Posted 8/19/12
The good guys are the ones trying to be your friend instead of hitting on you, but the girls don't pay attention to them. Why would they? They're just a nice guy, nothing more.
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21 / F / Mexico
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Posted 8/19/12
I've seen friends or people I know that like each other but no one made the first step, some guys don't take that chance and they lose the opportunity... It's about taking the risk too. It's not that your a nice guy and your gonna be in every girls friend zone...
20450 cr points
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24 / M / Griffin GA
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Posted 8/19/12

Gissellemex wrote:

I've seen friends or people I know that like each other but no one made the first step, some guys don't take that chance and they lose the opportunity... It's about taking the risk too. It's not that your a nice guy and your gonna be in every girls friend zone...


thats my biggest problem
8485 cr points
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F / Sasebo, Nagasaki-shi
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Posted 8/19/12

makorufus5000 wrote:

General law of relationships: Men and women are two completely different creatures whose minds work so differently, that they'll eventually try to decipher one another. In the end, the most simplest of answers gets boggled down by needless complications of a vast amount of questions and concerns.

Shyness, self-consciousness, lack of motivation, fear... there are many reasons WHY nobody can "find" the one. Because of the idea that there is "The One." There are many people out there for one person.

Keeping an open mind and heart is what helps you find someone compatible. Listening to your physical urges and by looking at potential significant others through the eyes of today's society fads that are out will blind you from looking within. That term Friend-Zoned, its a common expression because it's true.

Ugh, I can go on and on... but meh, general advice to the masses never really works. Usually it'll turn out tl;dr or something. Hope someone reads this and understands...


Ha ha, I read your whole post and it makes perfect sense and is something I agree with 100%.

Although, I stumbled on this wisdom years ago, so it doesn't really help me. Perhaps it will help someone else.
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28 / M / Illinois
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Posted 8/20/12

CanesGalactica wrote:


makorufus5000 wrote:

General law of relationships: Men and women are two completely different creatures whose minds work so differently, that they'll eventually try to decipher one another. In the end, the most simplest of answers gets boggled down by needless complications of a vast amount of questions and concerns.

Shyness, self-consciousness, lack of motivation, fear... there are many reasons WHY nobody can "find" the one. Because of the idea that there is "The One." There are many people out there for one person.

Keeping an open mind and heart is what helps you find someone compatible. Listening to your physical urges and by looking at potential significant others through the eyes of today's society fads that are out will blind you from looking within. That term Friend-Zoned, its a common expression because it's true.

Ugh, I can go on and on... but meh, general advice to the masses never really works. Usually it'll turn out tl;dr or something. Hope someone reads this and understands...


Ha ha, I read your whole post and it makes perfect sense and is something I agree with 100%.

Although, I stumbled on this wisdom years ago, so it doesn't really help me. Perhaps it will help someone else. :)


That's usually how it goes with me. I'm always late for the party... lol

Well, glad you got word long ago. And I also do hope that maybe someone might get something out of what I said.

=)
20118 cr points
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Florida, US
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Posted 8/20/12

Also made this pic just now for humour's sake:


THIS.
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29 / M / england
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Posted 8/20/12
I agree that's similar to what I said. I'm way too shy half of me is worried about rejection and the other half doesn't want to make them feel uncomfortable if they are not interested. Jerks usually only have one thing on their minds so they don't care about anything other than their objective. I do completely blame myself though as it's more in women's nature to be pursued plus a lot of women have no need to pursue as there are a lot of guys that will pursue them, but unfortunately that's also why a lot end up with jerks.
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28 / F / Michigan, USA
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Posted 8/20/12
Because most good guys end up getting friend-zoned because most girls can't see past what flaw they have on their obsessive checklists for the perfect man. There is no perfect man, but there is a perfect man for you. We're all going to be wrinkly, bald, & unattractive when we get old, so might as well stop focusing on looks (not saying nice guys are unattractive they're not, mine is very handsome) & other unimportant things & actually look for quality.
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