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What if women went up to guys they liked rather than waiting to get asked out?
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21 / M / CA
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Posted 9/21/12
i think its ok since its happened to me before but honestly id rather be the one to ask her out since it shows how bad i really want to date her instead of beating around the bush so much that she gets impatient and asks.

PS. Chivalry is not dead it is just cautious haha according to Marcel20 and honestly how would you really know if a girl is that special without trying first.

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Posted 9/21/12
Girls who wonder why men haven't asked them out are just self absorbed and lazy, and the ones who think that it is the males part to play are even worse.

If you like someone quit beating around the bush and tell them. If i like someone I will ask them out, if they say no i will say kkkkkkk and walk away. No harm done infact they probably get a slight self esteem boost from being asked out. Not put this into practice but I have just gotten out of a very long relationship and am still in a way recovering.
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F
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Posted 9/21/12
I think it's ok,
as long as they don't take example of what Sekai did in School Days
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24 / M / England
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Posted 9/21/12
I think girls should approach guys more instead of dropping hints then drinking wine until they die because the guy didn't ask her out.

Seize the moment - women you seriously need to approach guys more instead of following non-existant dating rules.

If I like someone I will approach them ( once I got the confidence ) and I expect the same but seriously you got to meet me half way.

But then again depends if the person is worth it or not
Posted 9/21/12
I usually never say this because it makes me seem really absorbed.. but I do test people I like before I go out with them. I'll flirt with them as a way to make sure we get along and just have fun with it I guess. I'd probably ask the person to hang out and I enjoy just being around them. I haven't had the desire to ask anyone out. I've only been lucky. Men will ask me out a lot and most of the time it happens to be the guy I'm into. I'm not saying I am fond of 10 guys at once. It's always one person I love talking too. If he happens to ask me out, it will be him asking first because I just like taking my time and being free. Relationships should be taken more seriously. It shouldn't matter who asks first as long as its a mutual real feelings and the other person saying yes will take it 100%.

This question is more for the men that need validation before asking a woman out. If you like her as well and want to stop being in the flirty friend zone, just ask her out. Woman will ask the man out if she is willing enough. If she seems shy and timid, don't be frustrated. It takes time to grow and learn to love yourself and once she experiences higher self-esteem from flirting, (which in may cases woman will do) she will go for it.
Posted 9/21/12

Effy- wrote:

I usually never say this because it makes me seem really absorbed.. but I do test people I like before I go out with them. I'll flirt with them as a way to make sure we get along and just have fun with it I guess. I'd probably ask the person to hang out and I enjoy just being around them. I haven't had the desire to ask anyone out. I've only been lucky. Men will ask me out a lot and most of the time it happens to be the guy I'm into. I'm not saying I am fond of 10 guys at once. It's always one person I love talking too. If he happens to ask me out, it will be him asking first because I just like taking my time and being free. Relationships should be taken more seriously. It shouldn't matter who asks first as long as its a mutual real feelings and the other person saying yes will take it 100%.

This question is more for the men that need validation before asking a woman out. If you like her as well and want to stop being in the flirty friend zone, just ask her out. Woman will ask the man out if she is willing enough. If she seems shy and timid, don't be frustrated. It takes time to grow and learn to love yourself and once she experiences higher self-esteem from flirting, (which in may cases woman will do) she will go for it.


Booooooooooring.
Posted 9/21/12


Indeed. I should probably just put it simply. - It doesn't matter who asks who out.- The end. There.



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Posted 9/21/12
Don't justify yourself to people who post useless crap, nothing wrong with what you wrote earlier.
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18 / M / Texas
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Posted 9/21/12

Aokidanza wrote:

Girls should take more initiative. Even though I'm a girl myself, it annoys the hell outta me to see my friends pining after some guy they'll never have the guts to confess to. "Oh, he should ask me out if I just keep flirting with him." Bullarky. Then they always get upset when he ends up dating someone else. Suck it up and make a move.

And girls also have the nasty habit of asking their friends to drop the guy hints for them. I'm all for helping out a friend, but that is just really none of my business and I don't appreciate being used.

With that being said, I do know some other girls who are very proactive in pursuing their love interest... My one friend constantly claims one of our guy friends for herself, in his presence; asks him when they'll start dating; and whenever someone asks if they are going out she'll say "Not yet~!" She, like, plans their life out together and everything. It kinda creeps the poor dude out (as well it should...).


i agree with you and i wish girls asked me out i mean if you like me then come over here! i'm single on the last bit i would be alittle creeped out but i would ask her this everytime she says "not yet~" my responce would be "well when will we go out then?"
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27 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 9/21/12

Effy- wrote:

I usually never say this because it makes me seem really absorbed.. but I do test people I like before I go out with them. I'll flirt with them as a way to make sure we get along and just have fun with it I guess. I'd probably ask the person to hang out and I enjoy just being around them. I haven't had the desire to ask anyone out. I've only been lucky. Men will ask me out a lot and most of the time it happens to be the guy I'm into. I'm not saying I am fond of 10 guys at once. It's always one person I love talking too. If he happens to ask me out, it will be him asking first because I just like taking my time and being free. Relationships should be taken more seriously. It shouldn't matter who asks first as long as its a mutual real feelings and the other person saying yes will take it 100%.

This question is more for the men that need validation before asking a woman out. If you like her as well and want to stop being in the flirty friend zone, just ask her out. Woman will ask the man out if she is willing enough. If she seems shy and timid, don't be frustrated. It takes time to grow and learn to love yourself and once she experiences higher self-esteem from flirting, (which in may cases woman will do) she will go for it.


You don't seem like the flirtatious type.
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19 / F / Soul Society
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Posted 9/21/12
I'm extremely shy, cynical, and sarcastic and have a fear of rejection, so I dunno if I could ever do that. I don't flirt unless I do it without noticing, so if it gets awkward I end up acting like one of the dudes... And since I'm short and skinny and have short hair as well, I'm pretty much permanently friend-zoned except in the case of my ex who I'm avoiding dating again... Not great circumstances to try and ask somebody out, but homecoming's in a week and nobody's asked me yet. Should I go for it and ask the dude I like? I freeze up and play it off as nothing if I feel like I'll be rejected... how do I convince myself to ask somebody?
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26 / F
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Posted 9/21/12
im all for it. women are strong individuals that shouldn't have to wait around for the guy to get enough courage to ask her out. and some guys are attracted to strong, independent women. it shows confidence which is what guys on the shows i watch always say they look for in a woman. I on the other hand am no good at that sort of stuff and rather the guy make the first move. problem with that is the man may never make a move
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40 / M / ohio
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Posted 9/21/12

NothingLikeYou wrote:


SlimShadyDogg wrote:

Oh how i wish girls would do this. Im 18 and still cant properly ask out a girl. I even have a hard time talking to them unless we're friends (which is hard because you have to talk to them to become friends, then you get friend zoned).
Im kind of the shy type so it really sucks


You never get "friend zoned" when they find you attractive. They always keep you in mind as the hot friend and they get a female friend to tell you they like you.


As slim said that not possible IF they are into you by you allowing them to be comfortable around them while you turn them on, im shy but i use that to my advantage

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40 / M / ohio
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Posted 9/21/12

marcel20 wrote:

I find that women who are interested in guys just kinda flirt and wait for the guy to make the move, but what if women just once in a while took a chance at it. Getting the guy she want's with out missing a possible love interest and settling for another guy than the one she wants...just because he missed or had other things on his mind to see her very mild advances?



Ladies please don't think this is a way to bash you...I am asking a honest question and would really like to know the male and fe-male perspective about this topic I am all for understanding of the sexes, so please feel free to comment don't worry I don't bite and I'm nice in my responses to reply's.


That what they are programmed to do by society, use that to your advantage by yawning, walking away that way you can see what they do (NOTE: dont do it in a ass like way), This will trigger a interesting response from most women they will chase you. If she gets mad at you, you learn something, If she asked why just simile do not tell her why.

Dont sweat it too much, most women want to flirt and hope that you flirt back, something i had a hard problem understanding as a man, from there if she talks about you a lot then you know that she is into you enough to ask her out. Sure you can wait for her to ask you out but that would seem enough of a clue.

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26 / M
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Posted 9/21/12
iv always been the shy reserved type....always being told im to quiet so as you can imagine not so much courage to ask a girl out iv only done it once......and out of all the ones who have asked me i noticed alot of points that others already brought up. first is the simple fact they seem to always wounder if you really like them which believe it or not is understandable i remember when i was in highschool one of my friends finally asked me out the only problem is i didnt like her but i said yes anyways because i didnt want to hurt a close friend. like it or not a girl who has doubts about how you feel no matter how small that doubt is, is likely to cheat because it will make her insecure and she will just search for that feeling she's looking for (unfortunately that fairytale love doesn't exist believe me i looked) now do i think girls shouldnt ask a guy out....hell no ask that dude out just do it right off......its dating not getting married you dont have to sleep with him and its not set in stone thats your get to know him time before you even have a chance to question if he said yes just to spare your feelings just because your friends
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