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What if women went up to guys they liked rather than waiting to get asked out?
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F / Illinois, USA
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Posted 1/22/13
I dunno. I used to flirt with guys a lot. And if the guy I was interested in didn't make a move, I usually did. I don't like to, always, but I will, if I think I'll get the boyfriend I want out of it. Lol.

Where I fall short is when guys make passerby comments, and I might make some replies, but it never turns into a conversation, so I kinda miss my chance. Usually, 'cuz it's passerby comments, and they don't stick around long enough for me to realize I need to make a move on him. Lol.
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23 / M / Eastern Washington
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Posted 1/22/13
I don't know, I don't think I would like it if a girl asked me out. If a girl asked me out I would just look at her and think "you stole that from me? My moment of confident, suave, jive-steppin bad-assery comes and you pull it from underneath my feet." I just think I'd feel emasculated.
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31 / M / IN CALI
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Posted 1/22/13

theYchromosome wrote:

I've always sort of wished this were true, and then last year, out of nowhere, a girl I'd never met before walked up to me at a party and said, "hey, you wanna have sex?" I had absolutely no idea what to even say. I took a look at her, found she was fairly attractive, and then thought about it.

On the one hand, If sex is a game, I either won, or coincidentally activated the god mode cheat while bullshitting with my friends. On the other hand, if sex is a movie, I've just encountered the thieving seductress that will tie me up and steal everything I have. In a horror movie, I'd probably die. If I'm just thinking realistically, she's probably horny, and assumes that, as a guy, I must hold the opinion that my life satisfaction depends entirely upon whether or not I get laid. SO... the end results I've concocted are:

1. I have a pretty good night.
2. I get all my money stolen.
3. I die.
4. Possibly in that order.
5. Furthermore, in each of these possibilities, I lose my self-respect in exchange for the possibility of sex.

So, I told her "no thanks," to which she replied with a dumbfounded look and a surprised "what?" She looked around at the rest of the party-goers staring at her, and then walked away.

So yes, I would love it if girls started asking me out more. However, I also have a minimum standard for receiving these requests, so you can expect to be rejected if you don't meet them. If you're fairly good looking and I don't know you, a date request will probably be accepted. I haven't had much time to experiment with my theory here, but I would recommend at least 60 seconds of "get to know you" time before sex requests. Of course, if you'd like to have fun outside of the bedroom, I'd much prefer talking to you. If all guys were me, there would very likely be a better chance of getting with a guy you're interested in if you petition him first. Frankly, it's a relief to ditch the tradition of guessing at the other person's wishes. Mind games are fun, but can get old pretty quickly too. If we've talked, and you find me likable, ask me out -- I'll very likely be pleased or flattered, even if I reject you.


LMAO too funny, but true...I though I was the only guy who could not go with having sex with a random woman no matter how hot she is. I HAVE to know her for a little while at least.
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31 / M / So Cal
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Posted 1/22/13

marcel20 wrote:

I find that women who are interested in guys just kinda flirt and wait for the guy to make the move, but what if women just once in a while took a chance at it. Getting the guy she want's with out missing a possible love interest and settling for another guy than the one she wants...just because he missed or had other things on his mind to see her very mild advances?



Ladies please don't think this is a way to bash you...I am asking a honest question and would really like to know the male and fe-male perspective about this topic I am all for understanding of the sexes, so please feel free to comment don't worry I don't bite and I'm nice in my responses to reply's.


Girl's go after guys too. Just not as often. The reasoning? Guys aren't as patient when it comes to their desire for sex and/or a relationship.

Personally, I always found myself trying to avoid girls when they express interest in me immediately. Especially the ones that follow you around. I won't even give them a chance.

I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted, I guess.
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31 / M / IN CALI
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Posted 1/22/13

LadiSiren wrote:

I think it has more to do with figuring a guy out and not wanting to get hurt. Like Prime Example I'm in love with my best friend. I know that he knows but I'm afraid to tell him how I really feel about him, but for him it's the same thing. So were locked in this stalemate because were both too stubborn to make the first move. So, I supposed it's due to stubbornness and my pride, as least when it comes to my situation or me in general.


I'd say go for it...its almost Valentines day, and you two wont always have this unique-awesome situation forever...where you both are interested. It's all up to you...don't make a choice on my behalf, but I just want nudge you in the right direction if I may
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31 / M / IN CALI
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Posted 1/22/13

BearSol wrote:


marcel20 wrote:

I find that women who are interested in guys just kinda flirt and wait for the guy to make the move, but what if women just once in a while took a chance at it. Getting the guy she want's with out missing a possible love interest and settling for another guy than the one she wants...just because he missed or had other things on his mind to see her very mild advances?



Ladies please don't think this is a way to bash you...I am asking a honest question and would really like to know the male and fe-male perspective about this topic I am all for understanding of the sexes, so please feel free to comment don't worry I don't bite and I'm nice in my responses to reply's.


Girl's go after guys too. Just not as often. The reasoning? Guys aren't as patient when it comes to their desire for sex and/or a relationship.

Personally, I always found myself trying to avoid girls when they express interest in me immediately. Especially the ones that follow you around. I won't even give them a chance.

I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted, I guess.


Yep no prob with that at all, but I wouldn't mind being either. different strokes for different folks
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23 / M / Newport Beach
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Posted 1/22/13
This would be awesome !!
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27 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 1/22/13
I got a mind to tell you
What I’ve been tryin’ to tell you
For so long
Don’t want to get it wrong

But I got a heart that’s soft and
Too open all too often
That’s a dangerous little combination

And I’m afraid a little brush aside
Could irreparably impair my pride
I got a mind to tell you, but I never will

Don’t want to take it easy
Don’t wanna play the game of "Be A Friend"
I came with false pretenses

And playing hard to get is
Getting me nowhere fast
Should I confess or lower my defenses?

Do I say the words I want to say
And risk the chance that you will run away?
I got a mind to tell you, but I never will

I got a mind to let you know
Cause I can’t hold it inside

Do I say the words I want to say
And risk the chance that you will run away?
I got a mind to tell you, but I never will

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-8N4BAbh_w
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26 / F / Southern Oregon
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Posted 1/22/13
Well speaking as a women I always figured if a guy wants to go out with me than he'll ask me out. I have never been so in "love" (and I use that term loosely) with someone that I got tired of waiting and asked him, and I have always felt perfectly ok with not being in a romantic relationship (honestly I have more important things to worry about).
Posted 1/22/13 , edited 1/22/13
cuz when they do it is extremely traumatizing n embarrassing to find out the man already has a gf
n then u earn the title whore
Posted 1/22/13
I'll flirt.
But I've learned.
Wait for the guy to make the first move.
Banned
31580 cr points
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33 / M / The Universal Con...
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Posted 1/22/13

lorddisick wrote:

I'll flirt.
But I've learned.
Wait for the guy to make the first move.


Why is that?

Posted 1/22/13


I tried being the one who made the first move.
Got dumped in a week.
Bastard used me.
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31 / F / so so cal
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Posted 1/22/13
My theory is that guys just don't notice when a girl is making the first move
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31580 cr points
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33 / M / The Universal Con...
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Posted 1/22/13

lorddisick wrote:



I tried being the one who made the first move.
Got dumped in a week.
Bastard used me.


That sucks.

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