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What if women went up to guys they liked rather than waiting to get asked out?
Posted 7/14/12
My sentiments exactly
Posted 7/14/12
well it happened to me 4-5 times before, but I'm saying that it should be a little more common...for example how many guys in you life have you Directly asked out?
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43 / M / Reno, NV, USA
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Posted 7/14/12
Nothing wrong at all with a girl taking the initiative to declare her intentions to a guy. And I'm sure there are some girls out there who've no problem doing so. That said, guys (I'm talking to my fellow men now), there is the general societal expectation for men to make the first move, and just as you might think it so much easier and less anxiety-provoking if the girl would just ask you out, the girl likely feels the same way about asking a guy. It falls to us men, typically, to, well, "man up," take the plunge, take on himself the risk the rejection and heartbreak, and go for it. Call it unfair (and yeah, I suppose it is). Rage against society for making it so. However, society isn't going to change anytime soon-- by the time it does, if it does, we may all be over the hill or even long dead. For you who are young (or even not so young) and alive right now, there's no time like the present. Make the first move. If she (or he) turns you down, don't necessarily give up, but maybe try again at some other opportune time (of course, don't be a stalker or some mindless animal about it). If it really doesn't work out with that one, consider it their loss, pick yourself up, and move on.

I'm happily married about 9 months at 41, but didn't really start seriously dating until my lower 30's. I told myself I was too busy with education and such, but mostly, I just lacked confidence and was afraid. The roller-coaster of the dating game sucked too, but it's pretty much the only game in town (short of not playing the game, or resorting to arranged marriages or mail-order brides and such), and I can say the result was worth the effort in the end. However, if I've any regrets, it's that I didn't meet my wife earlier in my life (i.e. start dating earlier).
Jikkle 
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31 / M / SoCal
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Posted 7/14/12
I would say most girls don't chase guys because there is really no need too. As long as she's not hideous there are plenty of suitors that she can afford to sit back and wait and be a little picky.

But I would say girls should be more proactive if there is a specific guy they have their heart set on.

I mean a lot of us guys are just thick when it comes to being perceptive of signals girls are trying to send especially if you're naturally shy or just don't have a lot of experience in that battlefield we call love to know the difference when a girl is interested and when she's just friendly that way.
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Posted 7/14/12
Don't even get me started on women doing anything first... The garbage just sits there... Dirty dishes... Laundry... Etc... Women have the dirtiest bathrooms and bedrooms. They just want us to do everything!
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20 / M / relaxing somewhere
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Posted 7/14/12
i think that would be totally awsome, i mean i don't mind making the first move, but some times it's really hard. I think any guy will tell you that it's really nerve racking to ask a girl out because of that fear of rejection. I'm not saying i want to put all that pressure on the ladie but it would be nice if once in a while we didn't have to do it. Just my opinion
Posted 7/14/12
i usually never make the first move, but i do flirt
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24 / F / New Zealand
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Posted 7/14/12
I can't believe this is a real question, lol.
Posted 7/14/12

Happencheese wrote:

I can't believe this is a real question, lol.


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19 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 7/14/12

marcel20 wrote:


Aokidanza wrote:

Girls should take more initiative. Even though I'm a girl myself, it annoys the hell outta me to see my friends pining after some guy they'll never have the guts to confess to. "Oh, he should ask me out if I just keep flirting with him." Bullarky. Then they always get upset when he ends up dating someone else. Suck it up and make a move.

And girls also have the nasty habit of asking their friends to drop the guy hints for them. I'm all for helping out a friend, but that is just really none of my business and I don't appreciate being used.

With that being said, I do know some other girls who are very proactive in pursuing their love interest... My one friend constantly claims one of our guy friends for herself, in his presence; asks him when they'll start dating; and whenever someone asks if they are going out she'll say "Not yet~!" She, like, plans their life out together and everything. It kinda creeps the poor dude out (as well it should...).


wow your 16?? your very wise and the "taking the initiative"(at least sometimes) part is exactly what I'm saying, maybe not with every single guy she like's, but probably 35% of the time especially when it's some one she really likes. Your friend probably might want to turn it down a couple of notches...since she already made her feelings known it would be best to let him make his choice, because if she keeps pushing him he might start feeling a little emasculated or stocked. thanks for your comment.


Yesh I'm 16, and thanks Yeah, I and many others have told her to chill out a bit, but she will not quit. The guy hasn't rejected her yet, surprisingly, probably cuz they're friends and he doesn't want to offend her. I feel bad for any potential girlfriend he might get that isn't her... And you're welcome~
Posted 7/14/12
+_+ well if that happened.... it would be miracles :)
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24 / F / New Zealand
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Posted 7/14/12

marcel20 wrote:


Happencheese wrote:

I can't believe this is a real question, lol.




Problem?
Posted 7/14/12

Happencheese wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


Happencheese wrote:

I can't believe this is a real question, lol.




Problem?


Yes, have you ever had a guy you really liked but did not have the will to actually ask him out on a date and you never got to actually tell him your true feelings nor got a chance to date him? this is the reality for most women, so was question was to spark an idea that women who are normally bound to "wait and see" to once in a while to possibly take action(feel empowered) and change their fate like men do every day when it comes to dating and choosing the one you want. Is that not a valid question?
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24 / F / New Zealand
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Posted 7/14/12

marcel20 wrote:


Yes, have you ever had a guy you really liked but did not have the will to actually ask him out on a date and you never got to actually tell him your true feelings nor got a chance to date him? this is the reality for most women, so was question was to spark an idea that women who are normally bound to "wait and see" to once in a while to possibly take action(feel empowered) and change their fate like men do every day when it comes to dating and choosing the one you want. Is that not a valid question?


I can't honestly say I've ever been in that situation. I've only ever dated one person, and I'm married to them now. And I told them how I felt. So it's never been a personal issue for me.
It was mostly just the title "What if women did this..." that irked me, I suppose...I don't like generalizations based on sex. There are some women who do ask out first.
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24 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 7/14/12 , edited 7/14/12
that is the problem with men these days, they are all wussy cowards that dont know how to man up and grow some balls. Most women dont want a guy that wont take the lead. If your not man enough to go after the women you like then your not worth the effort no matter how much we like you.

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