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What if women went up to guys they liked rather than waiting to get asked out?
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M
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Posted 1/21/13
Happened to me.
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20 / M / my mother's womb
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Posted 1/21/13 , edited 1/21/13
Male and Female.
Women will never take the initiative like men.
WHY?
Allow me to explain very briefly using the most basic and complete language: Chinese
male = man
In Chinese, 非(pronounced "fe") means "not".
Therefore, female is actually 非male.
非male (aka female) = not man

In essence, the Chinese equivalent of the sound "fe" tells us that females are not males, according to the word composition.
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25 / M / i wont say
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Posted 1/21/13
i had a girl ask me if she liked me once, sadly i saw her as a friend at the time (we were beginning to move and i knew i wouldnt see anyone where i lived anyways). i told her as much and we lost contact.
akerk7 
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19 / F / Northeast America
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Posted 1/21/13
I've asked one boy out, we dated for awhile but the relationship was boring and not good
I told another I liked him, we dated and that one was just plain awful in too many ways
It's kind of discouraging, and has me wondering if my relationships would go better when the guy shows interest first. That doesn't mean I'd never ask a guy out again, or that I regret asking either of them in the first place. I'd rather know it was bad then wonder if it could've been good.
akerk7 
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19 / F / Northeast America
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Posted 1/21/13

DAN213 wrote:

LMAO
There are girls that do take the initiative, but you should man-up and just ask the bitch out. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no; if that is the case just move on.


This is a prime example of the stereotypes and mindsets that cause the question on this forum to exist in the first place. How many of you girls are waiting for your guy to "man up and ask the bitch out"? Doesn't sound that appealing to me.
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F / Earth
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Posted 1/21/13

bigblueape wrote:

A girl asked me out 11 years ago. We've now been married 10 and have two kids and it would NOT have happened unless she pushed the envelope.

Realistically a lot of people here are introverts and require someone to be a little more extroverted in order to balance them out. It is part of the beautiful natural order of the universe we all seek equilibrium one way or another.


I thought I was a really bad introvert until I met my husband. It was either I took the risk, came a little out of my shell and started the relationship, or it was NEVER going to happen. Now he's still the same, and I guess so am I, but since he's not ever going to come out of his shell for anything, I (reluctantly) have to do it when situations call for it. Funny thing is, is that we are not that way with each other, we're both aggressive and blatant to each other, ever since we were dating .... I think I like that part of our relationship, that we don't really share/show ourselves and our emotional states to anyone but each other. I guess we're both the jealous/selfish type when it comes to other ppl, since we don't like to share each other with others.
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F / Earth
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Posted 1/21/13

akerk7 wrote:


DAN213 wrote:

LMAO
There are girls that do take the initiative, but you should man-up and just ask the bitch out. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no; if that is the case just move on.


This is a prime example of the stereotypes and mindsets that cause the question on this forum to exist in the first place. How many of you girls are waiting for your guy to "man up and ask the bitch out"? Doesn't sound that appealing to me.


He had me until he used the "B" word for a female. I'm guessing he's heard "no" pretty often if he actually speaks (disrespects women) like that in reality.
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40 / M / Milwaukee,Wiscons...
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Posted 1/21/13
Whaddya mean, "What if...?" My wife does that all the time.
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24 / M / Los Angeles, Ca
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Posted 1/21/13

PhyongHwa wrote:


akerk7 wrote:


DAN213 wrote:

LMAO
There are girls that do take the initiative, but you should man-up and just ask the bitch out. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no; if that is the case just move on.


This is a prime example of the stereotypes and mindsets that cause the question on this forum to exist in the first place. How many of you girls are waiting for your guy to "man up and ask the bitch out"? Doesn't sound that appealing to me.


He had me until he used the "B" word for a female. I'm guessing he's heard "no" pretty often if he actually speaks (disrespects women) like that in reality.


My apologies ladies; I thought I was pretty clear that my post was meant only for humor; didn't mean to upset anyone. And you guessed correct, I have been rejected many times; I attract a good amount of girls but I also understand that I can't attract them all.
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20 / F
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Posted 1/22/13

Bedlam wrote:


sky_flakes wrote:

i'd be like, "hey booooy, you here often?" *wink wink*


that, that right there works enough for me, haha!

btw, your username rocks. i'm eating that now as i speak. :D


you should try sky flakes with some cheese spread
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23 / M
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Posted 1/22/13 , edited 1/22/13
I've always sort of wished this were true, and then last year, out of nowhere, a girl I'd never met before walked up to me at a party and said, "hey, you wanna have sex?" I had absolutely no idea what to even say. I took a look at her, found she was fairly attractive, and then thought about it.

On the one hand, If sex is a game, I either won, or coincidentally activated the god mode cheat while bullshitting with my friends. On the other hand, if sex is a movie, I've just encountered the thieving seductress that will tie me up and steal everything I have. In a horror movie, I'd probably die. If I'm just thinking realistically, she's probably horny, and assumes that, as a guy, I must hold the opinion that my life satisfaction depends entirely upon whether or not I get laid. SO... the end results I've concocted are:

1. I have a pretty good night.
2. I get all my money stolen.
3. I die.
4. Possibly in that order.
5. Furthermore, in each of these possibilities, I lose my self-respect in exchange for the possibility of sex.

So, I told her "no thanks," to which she replied with a dumbfounded look and a surprised "what?" She looked around at the rest of the party-goers staring at her, and then walked away.

So yes, I would love it if girls started asking me out more. However, I also have a minimum standard for receiving these requests, so you can expect to be rejected if you don't meet them. If you're fairly good looking and I don't know you, a date request will probably be accepted. I haven't had much time to experiment with my theory here, but I would recommend at least 60 seconds of "get to know you" time before sex requests. Of course, if you'd like to have fun outside of the bedroom, I'd much prefer talking to you. If all guys were me, there would very likely be a better chance of getting with a guy you're interested in if you petition him first. Frankly, it's a relief to ditch the tradition of guessing at the other person's wishes. Mind games are fun, but can get old pretty quickly too. If we've talked, and you find me likable, ask me out -- I'll very likely be pleased or flattered, even if I reject you.
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26 / F / Iillinois
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Posted 1/22/13
you know I've never had an issues asking a guy if he'd like to go on a date being scared/nervous out of my mind its usually came out silly sounding or I would say something completely retarded but I got alot dates that way lol , instead of waiting on side for guy to make a move I went ahead a made the first move my thinking is this.... ask them now and if they say no its fine at least you wouldn't have wasted your time waiting for something that wasn't gonna happen
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18 / M / Tórshavn
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Posted 1/22/13

MokaForTheWin wrote:

well in my 15 years on this planet i have only seen it happen once, its a really rare thing that happens, there's a higher chance of winning the lottery, getting hit by thunder 2 times in the same day than seeing a girl ask a guy out


ahahah xD!! This just made Lol
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23 / F / Illinois
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Posted 1/22/13
I would never know what to say to a guy i liked. I had a real hard time asking out this guy in high school, in the end, it didn't even work out. So i stopped worrying about it.
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27 / F / Oak Park, MI USA
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Posted 1/22/13
I think it has more to do with figuring a guy out and not wanting to get hurt. Like Prime Example I'm in love with my best friend. I know that he knows but I'm afraid to tell him how I really feel about him, but for him it's the same thing. So were locked in this stalemate because were both too stubborn to make the first move. So, I supposed it's due to stubbornness and my pride, as least when it comes to my situation or me in general.
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