Winterfells wrote:



Hmm, well I could give you some advice, but I think a lot of people would disagree with me (I'll come off as a total monstrous douchebag but whatever).

Don't live life with trepidation. People hold themselves back thinking about too many variables. They give too much fuck about what other people might think or view them. They themselves give too much thought into how they seem THEMSELVES. So just let all that fly out the window. Your preconceptions.

Enjoying life and feeling free are great ways to the road of recovery. Think about it. If "being better" and "improving" feels like a chore or responsibility, eventually you'll crash, stop trying, and revert back to the "old self."

Make it fun, make it honest, and when things are fun and don't feel like a job, that's sustainable. It's like a person trying to lose weight. If they hate exercise and hate the diet foods they're eating, eventually they'll cave in to their old habits and gain the weight back.

But if they find a type of exercise they actually have fun (say they enjoy ultimate frisbee and join a team) and they change their eating habits to something they like (they love stir-fried vegetables) it'll be sustainable.

Specific things you can do to increase your self-esteem and just enjoy life:

- Don't be afraid of telling people the truth, what you think about them. If someone says something you disagree with them, let them know. If they're mistreating you or give you a slight, tell them to apologize. You'll respect yourself more, and with this respect you'll grow to have better self-esteem. Avoiding conflict, though less inherently painful, actually will make you think of yourself as a pushover and make it worse for you.

- Can't get into a steady relationship right now and have negative image about your sexual appeal and attractiveness? Hire an escort. You're helping someone make a living, who fucking cares about societal values when it comes to a hella old profession, and something natural like sex and the human body. Once you get sex past you, even if you pay for it, and have sex regularly, it becomes less of a big deal that hangs over your head. "Oh woe is me, I can't get laid, yada yada blah blah." Even if the woman is hired by you, physical sexual contact still has positive effects on your mind and it won't really distinguish a difference. Eventually you'll build it up to a point where you can more comfortably interact with women out there and get into a relationship.

- Even if you're not a rich guy, don't be afraid of spending it on stuff and activities that you are interested in and enjoy. So what if you're saving money? Will you take any of that with you when you die? Don't even talk about saving it for your kids, one step at a time, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Point is, too many people hold back and live life hesitantly, whether it comes to sex, money, hobbies, career advancement, and it just fucks them up in the end.

- I could write more but I'm getting lazy. So I'll just put a picture here.