I was spending time with Alex.

I said I had rocketing diarrhea, then it got quiet and he said "well ok then, let me know when you can come back to work" (chuckling all the while) How can someone say no to that?

When I had a bad depression bout and didn't feel like going, my mother called my school and said that I had eaten some shrimp the night before and got a mild case of food poisoning.

I don't make excuses; I make reasons.

The beauty of college is, they don't ask.

this guy asked me out and i said that i wasn't into guys

My false tooth fell out.

Cause I hate you

I have/had to do ____ (some task) ____ (specific time or timeframe).

Since my accident, sometimes I do things and my previously broken ribs pop out and i have to roll on the ground for a bit to pop them back in and it hurts like hell, so if i need an excuse i just say, "I cant, my ribs popped out."

Hmm Should I tell this one? No its too much so I will tell a safer one.....


One time back when I was really young in DayCare(hate daycare) I lied to the lady and said that was the person picking me up and she believed me. So I took my little sister and walked out the front door behind the man acting like he was picking me up. Then I walked all the way to my aunts house and didn't get in trouble because i told the 'excuse' of I thought since my auntie was close by that I could walk there......even though I've been going there for a week. I was so young and Innocent that they believed me right on the spot.
xD


But that was a big one, the rest are small like making the excuse of my stomach hurting to get out of school.
I rarely lie that much now, and if I do I end up confessing 5 seconds later......It's in my nature to tell truth more than lies now.

Smile.

the thunder scared my dog and he ran away, i have to go find him now, call me in 3 days

My mom's a blonde.

I was late to work once and we had a meeting that started right when my shift started... I waltzed in through the door late with a fresh Starbucks in my hand... my excuse

"I got trapped in the Drive-thru"

Thing is... I actually did... I pulled into the drive-thru with plenty of time, I did it everyday, the starbucks was literally half mile away with no traffic lights in between it and my work... there were 2 cars in front of me, then 2 pulled in back of me so I was stuck... The person at the speaker ordering took 5+ minutes to order, the next car took like 30 seconds, I took no time either. Then that first car got up to the window... 5 min or so, got some drinks, another 5 min, got some more drinks, then asked if they could order more... 5 min more, more stuff... There was literally nothing I could do.... not only did I want my drink, but once you get into the drive-thru, there isn't any way out of it.

It did work though, everyone laughed it off, and I still use that excuse to this day.