AshRandom wrote:



Yeah, but looking young is good as a woman, isn't it?

Most guys, if they gain a little weight and get a bit fat-faced, start to look really childish. I'm one of those unfortunate types. So, if I don't have a beard, people assume I'm not old enough to drink. And apparently I look horrifying with a beard, so I stay clean-faced out of vanity...

At the start of every semester, it always happens at least once, I'll have a class gather in the lecture hall, and I'll be standing down by the blackboard waiting for people to shut up so I can start. But they won't. Why? Because they're still waiting for the professor to show up. The first time it happened to me, I didn't understand what was going on. I stood there watching about 300 freshmen, many of whom kept getting up and walking back out into the hallway, and for some reason they kept getting louder, so I started to get worried something had happened (I'm somewhat paranoid after all the school-shootings that it's going to happen here). And I almost had a panic attack, and fled back into my office. I took a pill and when I came back I overheard a girl complaining "When the hell is Dr. ******* going to arrive." and I was like wtf, that's my god damn name! Oh jesus christ...! And then I just started shouting at everyone.... :/ Now at the start of the semester I grow a beard, wear a suit and put on my red striped bow-tie of ultra-nerdiness, so there aren't any doubts as to my profession in their stereotype laden minds.

The only thing that beats that, was the time I gave a presentation at a chemical conference and had this one older gentleman ask me during the Q&A if I should even be attempting the approach I was, when the molecular catalysts analog produced by (ME) seemed just as efficient and already worked at the same temperature. And then he cited a paper I wrote, like I was an asshole for not having already read it.......... I slapped my forehead it was so ironic.... He knew the guy who wrote the paper had the same exact last name as I did, he just couldn't believe that the guy who wrote the paper wasn't 75 million years old.... I got creative and said: "Well.... Like father like son!"

by the way, my dad is an engineer, not a chemist... I was just pretending to be my own son... The two people in the audience who actually knew me laughed... god my stories really suck don't they? This is why I never talk about myself in real life...