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Post Reply Solutions to Bullying
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26 / M / md
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Posted 8/27/12
it exists, and it wont stop even if it doesn't bother you, they may try harder or find a new target, that doesn't stop it. ego can be a motivator, people wanting to feel more important or powerful then they truly are, or they just find entertainment from it.

others may also do it to get a reaction from somebody. most just need something to vent their own life frustrations on and feel that would be the easier or only way to do it. it depends on the person and also the environment and reactions of victims and audience.
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31 / F / U
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Posted 8/27/12


Listen, I'm deranged Irish woman, and a drunken fist fight is partially how I wound up married; I'm just sayin, sometimes you just need to grab the coffee table by the legs and throw it at someone, but that's really neither here nor there.

I agree, nothing breaks bad behavior like a good public shaming + beating, both of which I'm all for. Caning is also considerably cheaper than housing inmates. We could make public executions something like a Superbowl Halftime Show, bring out catapults and line up about 50-100 murders, molesters, and degenerates and launch them into a brick wall in the middle of the field. You have to have a lot of people because it happens fast, you really want the audience to have time to enjoy it. Hangings? Can't understand how they ever fell out of fashion. Arrange the catapults and hangings to music and culminate the event with the fireworks of Old Sparky.

Bullies are always going to be there. If you're in school and your school district cares, that's great. If administration doesn't give a fuck--much like real life--you have 2 choices: Play the crazy card, or punch them in the face. Oh, I guess there is a third option which is let it continue, but that's just horseshit in my book, may as well move if you're gonna take option 3. I have had great success with the crazy card, but I have a pretty mean right hook to fall back on if all else fails.

Now if you'll excuse me, I just saw Buddy Christ rollin out on a Jesuraptor shouting something about it being "Be nice to assholes" week, and that's my cue to exit.
Posted 8/27/12
today was my first day at school and there was already a big fight =_=
Posted 8/27/12
I'm always bullied at my high school just because i like anime :/ i just ignore it but it NEVER helps >.> idk what to do with bullying, i think the only way to make a bully stop hurting u is beating the bully up. I find that telling teachers about bullying never helps, all they say is "ignore them" or "i'll have a talk with them" something like that
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26 / M
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Posted 8/27/12
As much as people don't want to admit it, violence IS THE ANSWER to stopping bullying. Bullies count on you not standing up for yourself, but when you do, they end up being nothing more than paper tigers. I'm a walking example. I was victimized by bullying so much that it almost ended in suicide. Then I decided to fight back in my own way.

I kicked one guy's ankle pretending to trip. I started a hockey fight. I pancaked a guy in flag football, then punched him in the kidneys. I gained a reputation as having been driven too far. Nobody messed with me after 7th grade because I started to stand up for myself. That's what you have to do. Don't start fights, finish them.
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35 / New York
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Posted 8/27/12 , edited 8/27/12

herrmnky wrote:

There is a good deal of published research on bullying. What it is... Who it effects... Reasonable ways to deal with it... etc. This is not the forum you should go to for advice. A school councilor can give you some advice, but won't necessarily be the best person. A librarian can help you find information on bullying if you are truly interested. If you have a university near you, they may have a librarian who specializes in education, which is even better. The best of all choice is find someone who studies bullying, email them, and see if they can point you in the right direction.

There are lots of anti-bullying programs out there. They aren't in my field, so I don't know how well they work, but I do know there is a lot of information out there, if you take the time to look.


I can agree with that with one caveat:

The published books and papers which are not built on the premise of evolutionary psychology are often wildly off base about not only the methodology, but even the practicality of implantation their approaches suggest. Time and again they fail to correctly analyse true human motivations. To the point where some books even suggest that there is no such thing as the predatory persona.... Or seem utterly unaware of the trend in behavioral objectives between males in high and low threat environments..... It's very troubling to suggest a field which has no consensus is collectively worthwhile. Contradictory reports which give drastically conflicting advice is definitely not a consensus view. Considering the situation, random, uneducated people's opinions on a forum for cartoons will be just as ungrounded and clashing. So, if you're only going to suggest that people read all of the literature on the subject matter as a whole, that's too generalized. But please, go ahead and cite some specific authors, anything to educate people properly is good for all of us as a whole.

Sorry for the rant, but I'm sick to death of researchers trying to deny the obviousness of it. We need to consider ourselves to be what we actually are, not pretend that people are some kind of fictional non-animal with no ties to the natural world. What we've learned in recent years from the emerging field of evolutionary psychology is extremely important in all stages of life, but most especially for the youth because that's the most volatile time and has the most promising data -- which if applied, could have a profoundly reformative impact on society as a whole, not just school children.

But of course, most school administrators and politicians are religious wingnuts, so they always favor the wrong end of the spectrum. My fear is that they will apply published solutions, which are totally false, and it will either continue to have the same negative results, or worse, breed a kind of criminal mastermind group of bullies for the next generation. I don't see how we can possibly answer a question correctly when we've chosen to ignore half the variables. It's just... ugh... frustrating...
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18 / M / United States
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Posted 8/27/12
I wouldn't say I'm bullied as much as I'd say I'm not taken seriously. I was in class one day and this one kid kept throwing markers at my head. I told him to stop in a forceful voice, and his response was, "what you gonna do about it." So after like 2 mins more of him throwing markers at me my one friend told him to quit it and he just stopped. Idk it was weird because it just feels like I'm not taken seriously so it happens to me.

I'm not bullied because of me liking anime or videogames or anything which everyone already knows (which I like that my school is cool about it). It's because my niceness is taken advantage of so ppl try to abuse it or something. Like I said that only happened once, and after that that never happened again.
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35 / New York
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Posted 8/27/12

EvilBunnyFluff wrote:



Listen, I'm deranged Irish woman, and a drunken fist fight is partially how I wound up married; I'm just sayin, sometimes you just need to grab the coffee table by the legs and throw it at someone, but that's really neither here nor there.

I agree, nothing breaks bad behavior like a good public shaming + beating, both of which I'm all for. Caning is also considerably cheaper than housing inmates. We could make public executions something like a Superbowl Halftime Show, bring out catapults and line up about 50-100 murders, molesters, and degenerates and launch them into a brick wall in the middle of the field. You have to have a lot of people because it happens fast, you really want the audience to have time to enjoy it. Hangings? Can't understand how they ever fell out of fashion. Arrange the catapults and hangings to music and culminate the event with the fireworks of Old Sparky.

Bullies are always going to be there. If you're in school and your school district cares, that's great. If administration doesn't give a fuck--much like real life--you have 2 choices: Play the crazy card, or punch them in the face. Oh, I guess there is a third option which is let it continue, but that's just horseshit in my book, may as well move if you're gonna take option 3. I have had great success with the crazy card, but I have a pretty mean right hook to fall back on if all else fails.

Now if you'll excuse me, I just saw Buddy Christ rollin out on a Jesuraptor shouting something about it being "Be nice to assholes" week, and that's my cue to exit.


Holy shit.

That was awesome!

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18 / F
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Posted 8/27/12
Bullying is part of human nature, and will go on forever. it just depends on how you handle it, i'm 16 i've been bullied, and i just brush it off, so because I only care how i perceive myself and i think i'm pretty damn great:)
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27 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 8/27/12
It's simple. Kill the Batman.
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21 / M / Texas
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Posted 8/27/12 , edited 8/27/12
Your not going to stop bullying no matter what you do. You know how they tell all these kids to tell an adult if they get bullied well it doesnt work, In my old school you told on the bully his friends will take his place and jump you after school or even during school when people were around it didnt matter to them. The only way you are going to solve your own personal bullying problem is to get bigger friends and if possible find a way to make everyone like you. I was bullied a little bit my freshman year in highschool until I put my foot down and devised a plan to stop it. I started to try to make bigger friends that would protect me, I listened to conversations, rumors, and stories and got dirt on everyone in my school that I could use as blackmail, I found the stupidest crack head in my school and befriended him ( I used him as a last resort to get you expeled from school by planting drugs in your locker if my friends were not enough to talk some sense into you ), and I started a snack and soda blackmarket since they replaced all the vending machines with healthy crap ( this got everyone to like me ). No one could beleive that the shy quite skinny kid they used to pick on would become the number one person on the DO NOT F*&# WITH list.
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19 / Here in canada
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Posted 8/27/12

Winterfells wrote:
It's simple. Kill the Batman.
Thats how I did it

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21 / M
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Posted 8/27/12
The only way to get rid of a bully is to ignore all they say, but in a proud way. As if you just don't care. Your aura must be confident and you must never show that what he/she says hurts.

If he hits you and stuff, you have to fight back with all you got. You have the right to defend yourself. If he is to strong, you got to learn martial arts or work out really hard.

Telling on the bully NEVER helps! It helps for like a week or so, but then it's on again. Trust me on this. The only way to help a kid from a bully is to teach him to do it himself.
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35 / New York
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Posted 8/27/12 , edited 8/27/12

Big_A wrote:

The only way to get rid of a bully is to ignore all they say, but in a proud way. As if you just don't care. Your aura must be confident and you must never show that what he/she says hurts.

If he hits you and stuff, you have to fight back with all you got. You have the right to defend yourself. If he is to strong, you got to learn martial arts or work out really hard.

Telling on the bully NEVER helps! It helps for like a week or so, but then it's on again. Trust me on this. The only way to help a kid from a bully is to teach him to do it himself.


Your post is my example to herrmnky that random posts from a forum for cartoons would be just the same as the collected research. In your case intuitively accurate, and in other cases wildly off base. Just like the majority of the literature.

People have created a host of false constructs when analyzing reality and even when you show them that the vast majority of their base assumptions are false, they still act like it's acceptable to hope to create a working solution from their original model. I find it deeply dishonest.

If we pretend that stopping the bully from asserting himself on school grounds is going to help, we're pretending that they can't literally follow their victims home and online. Then there's the presumption that it's possible to correctly judge who the real victim and real aggressors are in a fight. Administrators and teachers don't have an education in psychological analysis, nor do they always have the emotional intelligence to see through a charade, or past their own bias, even if they did. Baiting is a reality. Framing people is a reality. Stereotypes are a reality. If we setup rules to punish bullies, those rules are going to be used by the bullies themselves to get administrators to do harm. (Like I said, I fear breeding a generation of criminal masterminds).

I fear in their failure of analysis that they have created a false reality and then come up with ways to fix that phantom problem. If you apply methods that way, you inevitably drive off the road because you end up over correcting, or correcting things which aren't broken.

The gambit itself -- the personal fight against bullies -- is a lesson to be learned by all humans in their youth. It teaches the majority of us to love the underdog. It teaches us to identify with the underdog. It teaches us to watch each other's backs. Removing it has disastrous social consequences for the future health of the world because it has basic developmental ramifications for the individual.

Half the books on the topic of bullying don't take any of that into account. They just present ways to reduce, or remove bullying. Like there's even a consensus that we should. To put it bluntly, we might actually need to let kids fight. It's possible that the correct course of action is to let the fight and make sure they do it in ways that don't always kill them. A little killing might be okay.... That's the extent of it. Pretending we can regulate this is one thing. Pretending we should regulate it is another and they're rarely both addressed at the same time, except in cases where the person falsely asserts there's no positive benefit. Anyone who concludes, or would conclude that it should not be removed, wouldn't then create a method to remove it.
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40 / M / Temple, Tx
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Posted 8/27/12
From my experience, knocking the main guy the fuck out usually helps. Like most animals, once the leader is down, the rest run away. I one time stared down a guy who picked on me. Wasn't feeling too good that day and he got in my way. I gave him a "I don't feel like taking shit today" look and he moved to the side and let me by. Really got left alone when I demonstrated I knew martial arts one day.
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