First  Prev  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  Next  Last
Post Reply Solutions to Bullying
9483 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Latitude: 30.7530...
Offline
Posted 3/7/13
The solution is within your soul, you must find it for it is your destiny.
15146 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / M / Montréal, Québec
Offline
Posted 3/8/13 , edited 3/8/13
Hi! Sorry I haven't read the entire thing. Here's an actual solution, or rather, how it basically works.

Predation.
A cat is scared by the bigger stronger dog, but is the foe to the smaller, weaker mouse.

If someone is bullying you, it's because to them, you look somehow weak, compared to their own personal values/upbringing.

Does the mouse get anywhere by fighting back? No! This is why violence is not the answer.

The answer is *act tougher than you are acting right now*. I don't mean start being mean and break stuff, no. It means stand up straight and show that you have a back bone. Not that you are not afraid. You can be afraid, that's not the problem. Even if after that you still get punched. The secret is to not whine or pussy out about it. Or you say "no", it's not "maybe". If you say "yes", it means yes and don't be ashamed of it. Stand up for yourself. People will eventually respect that. Life is about surviving to predators constantly. If you start whining and crying or act weird, in nature, it is interpreted as "I am weak, I am food". Don't be food.

So now I say this and maybe you are a very gentle person who wouldn't hurt a fly, like I am. But that doesn't mean I have to take crap from people. Toughen up. Your "survival" is your own responsibility. What do the heroes of animé teach you, anyways. They get beaten down bt the bad guy until they finally realize "Hey! I love her (example) and there's nothing that will stand in my way!" or something like that. Do that.

Thank you for reading.
43640 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / So Cal
Offline
Posted 3/8/13

UlysseFredBurger wrote:

Hi! Sorry I haven't read the entire thing. Here's an actual solution, or rather, how it basically works.

Predation.
A cat is scared by the bigger stronger dog, but is the foe to the smaller, weaker mouse.

If someone is bullying you, it's because to them, you look somehow weak, compared to their own personal values/upbringing.

Does the mouse get anywhere by fighting back? No! This is why violence is not the answer.

Thank you for reading.


Mice have serious bites, I'm sure many have made an escape after a well placed nip.

Source: Been bit a few times by feeder mice and one time by a field mouse.
12586 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
[not] China
Offline
Posted 3/8/13
If it was so easy to stop bullying it wouldn't happen now would it? I was bullied the most when I was in elementary school, it was the worst years of my life. Teachers didn't do shit even though they knew I was being bullied everyday by this girl.
Rajyrr 
28990 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / Nova Scotia, Canada
Offline
Posted 3/8/13 , edited 3/8/13
Duct tape is the solution to everything. You'd do well to remember that in the future.



Just be careful the bully doesn't get a hold of it first. That could end in disaster ..
18053 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 3/8/13
Bullying is the act of abuse, harassment, or assault against others. They include but are not limited to parental abuse, school bullying, spousal abuse, sexual assault and rape. Bullying can be done via physical and verbal means and in many cases is a combination of both.

I think bullying comes from two main sources:

One is the transference of stress/anger/violence in one's own life. For example, an abusive parent beats their child because their parents were abusive.

The other source is the lack of fundamental understanding of the victim's position(culture, sex, religion, sexuality, etc) and the pain the victim's feel from bullying. A lack of understanding leads people to fear and people react to fear in two very ways. The first to flee from the object/person causing the fear in order to feel safe, but the other, and most common, is to attack and attempt to dominate or control the fear. The idea being "no matter how scary you are, if I have power over you, you can't hurt me" or "if I have power over you who causes me fear, I'm superior to you". For example, a bully will taunt a smart child because a smart child makes them feel stupid(fear of loss future or fear of being stupid, or others, etc). Thus to feel superior to him, the "smart" one, he bullies him.

A lack of understanding the victim's position can also lead to hatred of them. Hatred, however, often has source in one's life. For example, A christian child will bully a homosexual child because the christian parent have taught the child to hate homosexual because they are sinners.

Some solutions to this problem a school can take a stand on:
1. Have all members of faculty remove or least not display their bias in front of children. Teachers, next to parents, are many children first "authority" figure in their lives. They enforce the rules and if they show bias by letting some students off the hook or punishing students harsher than most, they etch in that child's mind that that is how the world works. As teachers, they need to act accordingly and promote the idea that our justice system strives for; "The laws punishes all those fairly and no man is above it".

2. Stop punishing students for defending themselves. In many school, in order to promote a zero fighting policy, faculty will punish any student caught in a fight regardless of the situation. Rather the school states that a student should get a teacher in case of a fight. This is counter-intuitive and just plain stupid. In an actual fight, one could simply bow out, jog to the nearest station, and inform the nearest officer of the scuffle. Many of our laws are designed to not-convict people who acted in self-defense. Why is school, a place designed to prepare kids for the real world against this. In fact by restricting the ability to defend oneself, school allow bullies(who already disregard school rules) the free reign to physically abuse kids who won't fight back for fear of getting trouble. I myself am not a supporter of violence, but I am in total support of allowing someone the right to defend themselves without consequence.

3. Foster the idea of togetherness withing a class. Have activities that allow students to explore the aspects of their classmates. Point out their similarities and show how that ties them together, but also point out their difference and have student celebrate their uniqueness. "Be proud to be black and part of class 2-A". After this, emphasize how important it is to assist each other and in the case of bullying, defend one another (non-violently). Bullies often operate with a limited group of people or solo, so if a class stands up against them, what can they do. This can help ease the problem of the lack of understanding among students.

4. Encourage anonymous reporting of bullying. Instead of forcing the victim to face the bully in the teachers office, keep that students identity a secret. In the military, whenever someone suspects wrong-doing in the chain of command, they encourage you report it and to prevent any backlash from the bullies supporters, they keep your name a secret. They even use phrase to throw off the bully mentioning an anonymous group or just flat out lying by saying they say you do it. Extend the same courtesy to our children.

5. Therapy for the bully, not to replace punishment, but to investigated the reasoning behind the bullying. Maybe they're being abused at home, maybe they've misinterpreted someone's culture. In any case, simply punishing them only delays the bullying but doesn't stop them. If you expelled the kid who hate homosexuals from school, all you've done is delay who can bully that year, doesn't stop them from becoming a bigger ass when they grow up. By investigating the cause, you can alter the misconception and slowly turn that bully into a student again.

Sorry if this is long...
Posted 3/8/13
You can either stand up to them in public or use calculative methods.

Why would it matter if you got beaten up in public? No one ever sides with the bigger guy who beats smaller guy. Calculative methods... Why not? Teach them why humans dominate the planet as the only creature here with intelligence.
17469 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
15 / F
Offline
Posted 3/8/13
America's culture is fascinated with power and violence, so it’s unrealistic to expect that this wouldn’t influence some people and they’d seek power through the use of violence in their own lives. Also, families that are not loving and supportive can have kids who are victims at home but bullies in school.
I see bullies of varying degrees in school, I know who they are, and my defense is to keep off their radar. Because teachers and administrators will deny the existence of bullying until it’s too late, because of political correctness or lawsuits, I really don’t know.
Posted 3/8/13

trinkit wrote:

America's culture is fascinated with power and violence


You've been impressive for your age up to now. Don't let it cloud your views. America's culture is very festive.
Posted 3/8/13

ursae wrote:


trinkit wrote:

America's culture is fascinated with power and violence


You've been impressive for your age up to now. Don't let it cloud your views. America's culture is very festive.



under under under like that most place power mhahahah


bully them back probably as strange as you
Posted 3/8/13
I would just kick their ass if they provoke me enough.
Posted 3/8/13
it is called, just smile and walk away. you got to show the asshole that you are not afraid of them. once they know you are scared, you give them the upperhand and they bully you till you are.
17469 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
15 / F
Offline
Posted 3/8/13

ursae wrote:


You've been impressive for your age up to now. Don't let it cloud your views. America's culture is very festive.


Glad to see you continuing your sense of irony in your postings.

11237 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Perú
Offline
Posted 3/8/13 , edited 3/8/13
I was a dick back in school. I bullied a lot of classmates and i can say that we always choose those we knew that wont fight back . If you don't want to be bullied then you should kick their asses, is the only way.
15146 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / M / Montréal, Québec
Offline
Posted 3/8/13

I was a dick back in school. I bullied a lot of classmates when i was in school and i can say that we always picked to those we knew that wont fight back .


Well I was bullied a lot in school. I know what I am talking about. Applying my method is not easy, but it is the answer. As I said, you may get still punched, for example, after you show that you have the nerve to stand up, but the point is that will change you.

If I say "lift that 100-pound weight, it'll make you into a physically stronger person", you'll say "no, it's too hard". Well that's the point. They see someone who won't dare to try and that, subconsciously, will make them want to either "punish" you or just prove how much stronger they are.

The easier solution is to "ignore" them. But how do you ignore someone who is punching you or forcing you into a locker, or something? Well, it doesn't work. Because you're still weak to them. Ignoring them is just being weak in an other room, out of sight. They can still come and get you. A way that worked for me in high school was that everyone thought I was stupid, lame or whatever. One day, I secretely stopped caring and just put on a happy face and was purposely friendly to everyone. But it's not the "kindness" that turn bullies around. It was the fact that I was now coming to talk to them and to other people, which I wasn't doing before. So the bullying did not stop, but it sure slowed down. Now, only the "real" bullies were left bullying me. Not just their friends and friend's friends, like Pip in South Park.

Now where I never dared or got the guts to go to was, as Hioshi10 mentionned, I never fought back physically, because I knew I would lose. But at least I fought back in spirit and *some* back bone. Those years of getting bullied still haut me today, and no one ever gave me actual working advice. But at least, today these years are behind me and I can pass along the info I have.

Now, the painful coup de grâce. YOU are bullies too. Yes, it's true. Listen: have you ever laughed at someone because something bad happened to them? They hit their head on a table and you laughed? Or maybe your cousin or little sibling was making a sand castle, taking good care to make it as best as they could, then you came along and destroyed it? Why did you do that? What the hell cam into your mind to do something like this? It's just a prank? Well, what you really saw is, for the sand castle example, someone taking a lot of care doing something, having his/her own "private" moment with making something they cared about for the moment. Wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to it? How funny? We all want power, and we want to be able to show it off. The weaker the adversary, the bigger the feeling of power. Like playing "god mode" in a shooter, or all weapons. You like that? Why? It's relieving, isn't it? It makes your owns troubles go away because you finally feel powerful over somehting. Well, there you go.

Now I don't want you to misinterpret me. Bullies are at fault, but you are too. Stop behaving in a way that attracts bad things to you. A salesman will sell you crap if he feels that you are a sucker. He'll do it BECAUSE you are being a sucker. A bully does have issues. Somewhere in hi life, something is not going well. He may be denying it, but it is. Feelings swell up inside of you and eventually have to come out some way or another. You cannot stop this. Usually, it through somehting physical, like stress, stomach reflux, headaches, skin problems, etc. These things manifest themselves weather you like it or not. It's the same with bullies. They "express" their feelings using you as an easy way of getting that high that the feeling of power can provide.

So, to sum up: DARE to stand up for yourself. That's all you need. Until bullies get the therapy they need, and you too eventually, let them find someone else to bully. It's a bit cruel, maybe, but you can't win everything. There will always be war, just try and avoid the death.

Thank you and sorry about the TL;DR.
First  Prev  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.