First  Prev  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  Next  Last
Post Reply Solutions to Bullying
Posted 3/8/13

Kiritoe wrote:
But everyone gets bullied.


Which makes it okay.
Posted 3/10/13
The target is never smart
61121 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / Bonne Lake, WA
Offline
Posted 3/10/13
Back in the good old days, if two people had a problem with one another, a fist fight was organized near the school. Witnesses would circle up, the two people arguing would have a fight. when the fight was over, it was broken up by the upper classmen and the issue was resolved. Anyone that brought the issue back up was then not treated well.

Parents today are too involved in this part of life of their children. They have these disagreements and resentment builds, but they have no way to really voice it, so they patronize the person.

Fighting is not unhealthy. Me and my brother had fist fights all the time growing up. Now we get along quite well. We know each other better than most people know each other. We've pushed each other to the limits of both our wits and beyond, and now we understand each other.

Fighting isn't a horrible thing for children to do. It helps them grow up. Fighting happens when two people can't express in words what they feel. It can hurt, you can get bruised and cut, but you learn from it. The problem comes when other people try to fight for you. They don't understand what they are really fighting about, and then more people who don't understand show up and then it's just a pointless brawl.

It's sad that we are in a society that we can't learn to express ourselves. Nonverbal communication is the most important form of communication, and getting into fights is part of learning that kind of thing. Repressing things doesn't help.
14097 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Stevens Point, WI
Offline
Posted 3/10/13
Only two forums I post on anymore, here and snowboadingforum.com, because it's the only place I can find reasonable people. But if bullshit burned this thread would be an eternal flame, as I highly doubt the badass-ery of most of these posts, that or there are more T.U.R.D.'s here than I thought. Is there anything necessarily wrong about fighting, no, when someone is actively hostile toward you in a violent manner, defend yourself.

Take metalsmiths argument, he's basically stating the reason people don't get along and get bullied/bully others is because there isn't enough violence in childhood. That's the kind of thinking that is going to make it worse, what if the bad guy wins because he is a bigger, stronger upperclassmen, then you just made the problem worse. True, no one can fight your battles for you and repressing things isn't good for you, but sometimes you just need to tell them to fuck off and turn around and walk away.

On the bullying thing, if it's "people giving you shit", grow a thicker skin and re-read my first two paragraphs. IF people are actively violent towards you, by all means neutralize the threat with minimum force and damage then go tell your schools liaison what happened or a teacher you can really trust. Unfortunately if people are just making threats or blackmailing you or whatever you can't do much, because nothing "wrong" has been done, "reclaim" whatever information they have on you or ignore them. Anything other than that and your better off putting the blinders on and just focusing on what you have to do.

I got bullied in school from kindergarten through the start of my first year of high school, getting assaulted every recess and passing period while the teachers and principal because they didn't like my mom and my dad who I didn't live with wasn't about too step up on seniority his first year in the district as a teacher. I was even suspended four times because of some the memorable ones. If not that it was my family situation, or being the poor kid, or this or that... Eventually I just started tuning out the noise and responding accordingly when attacked. It was kind of tough at first but you get used to it and harden up after a while and eventually it was only the toughest kids in school because no one else wanted anything at all to with me socially or otherwise.

Just my experience and thoughts on the subject, by the way if anyone here is getting bullied and wants my advice feel free to send me a message.
14146 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
34 / M / Montréal, Québec
Offline
Posted 3/12/13 , edited 3/12/13

ghostwarrior88 wrote:

(…) but sometimes you just need to tell them to fuck off and turn around and walk away.

On the bullying thing, if it's "people giving you shit", grow a thicker skin (…)

IF people are actively violent towards you, by all means neutralize the threat with minimum force (…).

Eventually I just started tuning out the noise and responding accordingly when attacked. It was kind of tough at first but you get used to it and harden up after a while (…).


Yes, that’s what I’m saying : it’s a matter of attitude. Look strong and unbendable.


hyjinx17 wrote:
May not be a popular answer, but you stop getting bullied by fighting back. Doesn't matter if you win, lose or draw. The moment you fight back, your target is gone. (…) Bullies don't fear school punishment.

Once you've fought back once, no matter the outcome, you become to much trouble for the bully to bother with.

Fight Back. It doesn't have to be with your fists. Just keep getting up, don't let them win. They will lose interest and move on to the next kid who's just going to sit there and take it.


Yep. But the thing is, you HAVE to get your hands a bit dirty. This is not a fairy tale, this is reality. You don’t get into a fight without getting scratches and bruises even if you win.

Look, the point here is that there is a metamorphosis aspect to this. It doesn’t happen in an instant and effortlessly. You want to learn to ice skate? Expect to fall flat on your ass MANY TIMES. Eventually, you’ll get good at it, until then, it will continue to hurt, maybe even more, but if you keep at it, you’ll grow up to be a pro who barely ever falls. Same thing.

THERE IS NO EFFORTLESS AND PAINLESS SOLUTION. But it’ll be okay. You just need to stand up for yourself.
You are the brave knight who defends the person he/she loves: yourself. Yes you do. Now show me.
24321 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
17 / M / Tórshavn
Offline
Posted 3/12/13 , edited 3/12/13
they shall be punished by death!

..or three slaps on the face...really hard ;D
34602 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / F
Offline
Posted 3/12/13
Human behavior 101

By giving in to bullies you positively reinforce their behavior. Behavior you incentivize, you will get more of.
32473 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
36 / M
Offline
Posted 3/12/13
Bystanders need to step up and help stop the harassment.
69113 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / UofL; Louisville, KY
Offline
Posted 3/12/13
Talking to kids about bullying does absolutely nothing. Waste of both your and the kids time.
Banned
10170 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / Bristol, England, UK
Offline
Posted 3/12/13 , edited 3/12/13
Bullies are not necessarily weak people. They can be strong, charismatic and have friends. Just because some people dislike you specifically doesn't mean that they won't benefit from life. Look at Howard Stern. He bullies people all the time and he's a highly-paid radio talk show host. Or look at the football players who bully you and fuck the hot chicks.

Stand up for yourself because bullying is a part of human nature. It will never disappear.
29425 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
Offline
Posted 3/12/13

thepeaguy wrote:

Bullies are not necessarily weak people. They can be strong, charismatic and have friends. Just because some people dislike you specifically doesn't mean that they won't benefit from life. Look at Howard Stern. He bullies people all the time and he's a highly-paid radio talk show host. Or look at the football players who bully you and fuck the hot chicks.

Stand up for yourself because bullying is a part of human nature. It will never disappear.


They do, however, have psychological problems that need to be fixed.
21231 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / F / Louisiana
Offline
Posted 3/12/13

Unfortunately bullying can extend even into adulthood. People don't necessarily grow up they just get bigger. I've had two jobs where there was a clique of people others seem to be afraid of and so will put down or isolate others to be cool. Rather than trying to stop the bully, maybe the bullied person should think about what they need to do to feel empowered. In middle school I was bullied and told the teacher and the kid got in trouble and left me alone. Then another time a girl told me to meet her after school to fight. I was a quiet child and didn't fight in school. But I would have felt worse if I'd chickened out so I met her. But she didn't show. I don't think she was afraid of me but probably wasn't serious. Anyway, I was proud of myself for doing it. Maybe it was easier back then b/c it never crossed my mind that she'd have a gun or something. And sometimes the bullying isn't as direct. It's that kind of mean girls, passive-aggressive bullying. Sometimes all you'll hear are their voices in your head and not your own thoughts or anything positive. For those types of people you have to show that it doesn't affect you. Ignore them. Let them become invisible and think on good things and hang out with good people.
14097 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Stevens Point, WI
Offline
Posted 3/12/13

UlysseFredBurger wrote:


ghostwarrior88 wrote:

(…) but sometimes you just need to tell them to fuck off and turn around and walk away.

On the bullying thing, if it's "people giving you shit", grow a thicker skin (…)

IF people are actively violent towards you, by all means neutralize the threat with minimum force (…).

Eventually I just started tuning out the noise and responding accordingly when attacked. It was kind of tough at first but you get used to it and harden up after a while (…).


Yes, that’s what I’m saying : it’s a matter of attitude. Look strong and unbendable.


hyjinx17 wrote:
May not be a popular answer, but you stop getting bullied by fighting back. Doesn't matter if you win, lose or draw. The moment you fight back, your target is gone. (…) Bullies don't fear school punishment.

Once you've fought back once, no matter the outcome, you become to much trouble for the bully to bother with.

Fight Back. It doesn't have to be with your fists. Just keep getting up, don't let them win. They will lose interest and move on to the next kid who's just going to sit there and take it.


Yep. But the thing is, you HAVE to get your hands a bit dirty. This is not a fairy tale, this is reality. You don’t get into a fight without getting scratches and bruises even if you win.

Look, the point here is that there is a metamorphosis aspect to this. It doesn’t happen in an instant and effortlessly. You want to learn to ice skate? Expect to fall flat on your ass MANY TIMES. Eventually, you’ll get good at it, until then, it will continue to hurt, maybe even more, but if you keep at it, you’ll grow up to be a pro who barely ever falls. Same thing.

THERE IS NO EFFORTLESS AND PAINLESS SOLUTION. But it’ll be okay. You just need to stand up for yourself.
You are the brave knight who defends the person he/she loves: yourself. Yes you do. Now show me.


It's not just attitude, you have to be strong and unbendable to look that way. While you need to defend yourself, I can think of a few times where they just came back with more friends/an equalizer, that is where you have to really grind em' and they won't return. A lot of people on here seem eager to start shit, settle the fuck down. Starting a fight is never justified or a good idea even in any situation because then you have abandoned all hope of a peaceful solution, and I don't care what the scenario there is no such thing as a situation that requires dirty blows and violence to resolve. IF you are required to defend yourself, use your full arsenal but the once they flee, cease aggression or are incapacitated, again just walk away. Regardless of bullying, which is just a cowards way of saying my life sucks and it hurts, I could use a real friend. The younger people around now seem fascinated with violence and way too eager to try and prove they're badassery, when they have no clue what a hard life really is.

Never once in a firefight did I find myself saying "this is cool," while 14,000 miles from home and basically alone in the mountains.
13355 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Virginia
Offline
Posted 3/12/13
I think bullying is a natural part of life.
20875 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
41 / M / Texas
Offline
Posted 3/12/13
can never be stoped once you refrom one another will be born
only way to stop it
is to eliminate the human race
sad and horrible turth
First  Prev  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.