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Post Reply Solutions to Bullying
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Posted 3/14/13 , edited 3/14/13
For the most part I was always well liked throughout my school life "despite" being the nerdy kid who loved anime, games and fantasy novels, though there were always a few rogue factors who insisted on starting shit with me. Some of it was name calling, like one guy in middle school who insisted on calling me and couple of my friends gay every time he saw us together, dunno what his problem was. While it didn't bother me it did begin to get annoying after a couple of months, like a gnat or mosquito, so I tried thinking of a few things to get him to stop. I toyed around with the idea of turning it back on him for a while, something like hugging him in the middle of a crowd and telling him I didn't like him that way, stuff like that. In the end it was too much hassle and I just told him to go fuck himself, and that was the end of it.

On the physical side of things though... thankfully the only time I can think of would be the first day of middle school, which has actually become one of my favorite stories. I was sitting in the grass by the school parking lot waiting to be picked up and these two guys walked up and stood on either side of me and started pushing me and trying to start something, one of them even started humping the air next to me for some stupid reason. I just ignored them and continued staring ahead of me for a while considering my options if things went downhill when I starting getting warm, so I slowly stood up and took my jacket off and threw it on my backpack which was sitting beside me. Next thing I know one of them yells, "Oh crap, he's gonna beat the shit out of us!" Keep in mind I'm around 5'7" weighing ~95 pounds, with asthma and very little muscle mass. It all came down to how calm I was and how I paid no attention to them. If you get flustered, they feel like they're in control.

It also helped that I did my best to befriend everyone who bothered to talk to me, especially anyone who was bigger, stronger or had any possible gang affiliations. That and once I entered high school I had a habit of introducing myself as slightly crazy, though I meant it in the sense that I could be goofy and silly. I scared the shit out of a guy that sat next to me in science class my freshman year of high school that way, he jumped back almost half a foot despite shaking my hand just before that. He also thought I was an undercover cop at one point, though that may have been because I never bothered to shave my mustache and beard. We eventually became friends after a couple days, and he eventually told me if any one messes with me to let him know and he'd take care of it.

Outside of my experiences though... if it's name calling, gossiping, or whatever, do your best to ignore it and tell them to fuck off, which I guess can be easier said then done for most people. Luckily I never gave a damn what others thought about me so it was easy for me. On the physical side of things, if they start something, don't run if you can help it. You have to fight back, and don't listen to any of that fighting fair bullshit, that only counts for sports, aim at any spot that's vulnerable and use anything nearby to your advantage if need be, a book, a chair, dirt, or a rock. It's you or them. That being said, don't start a fight, let them throw the first punch, and don't bring a knife, gun or anything like that, that's just going down a path nobody wants.

As far as cyber bullying goes... well, I think it's ridiculous that anyone is bothered by it, but again I don't give a damn what people think, and there's a block/ignore button for a reason, use the damn thing. Not only that but isn't there an option to report issues like that on most websites? Even if it is sometimes hidden away to prevent abuse, I know for a fact Youtube has the option so I'm sure Facebook and other such sites have them, which generally end up with the person suspended/banned if the report turns out to be true.

When it comes down to it these parasites don't matter, especially in the long run and rely on your pain in order to feel good about themselves. It doesn't matter what kind of methods schools use to try to prevent bullies from becoming bullies, they'll always exist. It just comes down to how you respond to it. Words only have power over you if you allow them to, the only meaning they have is the meaning you give them. If you laugh in the face of the person who insulted you, they've failed in their objective.

tl;dr: If they insult you or gossip about you, ignore them/laugh at them/tell them to go fuck themselves. If they physically attack you, fight back and if necessary use any nonlethal weapon at hand. (ie. a book, rock, etc.) Don't use a knife or gun, just don't. If it's "cyber bullying" block them, and just ignore them, same as if they insult you to your face.

For a cartoon squirrel, Foamy emphasizes my point quite well in these two videos: Part 1 "Bullies":http://youtu.be/RZCUJEWuyow Part 2 "Teachers & Bullies":http://youtu.be/R95pTekso_Y Warning: "Foul" language.
Posted 3/14/13
A back bone
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18 / M / Australia
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Posted 3/14/13
tothisdayproject.com

if you have not seen this then watch it...
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Posted 3/15/13
Bullying is never ok, but we'll probably never get rid of it.

If it's cyber bullying always report harassment, ignore and block user. You may even have to get an new account. If it's severe and contains threats go to the police, your parents or the counselor, they're there to help, if they don't then go the news paper. (Trust me, they thrive on stuff like schools not responding to bullying, especially local papers.) Don't be ashamed, it's never your fault that you're being bullied.

Don't respond back, that's playing into their hands. I know it's hard but I know from personal experience that ignoring works best, they'll get bored sooner or later. Don't resort to violence of any kind.
Spreading dangerous rumours about yourself may also work but it could just as well backfire. It worked for me in Junior high...

I have no experience with physical attacks but if so is the case, fight back best you can and, if you get the chance, run away. Try to aleart adults/teachers/anyone... it's always good to have a witness.

And if you're a bystander: Don't ever let bullies dictate what is right and what is wrong.
Posted 3/15/13
become an elite sniper hitman for a profession and everything will work out in the end
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21 / F / London, UK
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Posted 3/15/13 , edited 3/15/13
Most of the replies in this thread are about what to do when you are the one being bullied, so I wont comment on that.

But even if you aren't the one being bullied it's important to help stop it. If you see someone else being bullied, help them out. A lot of bullies do so because of either wanting to feel powerful or because they seek approval from their peers. By creating an environment in which the bullies have less power and respect (by having lots of people show they wont tolerate it), you are taking away their motivation and letting the person being bullied know they aren't alone.
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 3/15/13 , edited 3/15/13
Since bullying even occurs amongst puppies, it should be obvious that bullying is natural, normal, necessary to some extent, and that it will never disappear. Of course, the same can be said about turning the tables on bullies and generally standing up for ourselves against them, and there being people who can't/won't handle it or defend themselves.
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23 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 3/15/13

aeb0717 wrote:

Since bullying even occurs amongst puppies, it should be obvious that bullying is natural, normal, necessary to some extent, and that it will never disappear.


How is it necessary?
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 3/15/13
I said "to some extent," so I beleive that there is such a thing as too much. Also, your comment was posted while I was editing my comment, so please re-read it and let me know if you still want to discuss it with me.
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23 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 3/15/13

aeb0717 wrote:

I said "to some extent," so I beleive that there is such a thing as too much. Also, your comment was posted while I was editing my comment, so please re-read it and let me know if you still want to discuss it with me.


And what extent were you referring to?
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31 / M
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Posted 3/15/13 , edited 3/15/13

marcel20 wrote:

A back bone


And fighting back because you are standing up for yourself.
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 3/15/13
When someone is continuously broken down to the point of seriously considering suicide and/or murder. When serious bodily injury occurs, specifically when the victims life is put at risk, as well. I'm a mother bear type, so I will always have trouble keeping myself from interfering long before these sort of things happen to those that I care about, but I know that it's not good if they don't learn to stand up for themselves. If people like me continuously protect them, they won't be able to defend themselves when we're not around.
Posted 3/15/13 , edited 3/15/13
I don't know how many times i stood up for someone just to end up bullying them when they become dependent on me, it's just something about some people that makes you want to treat them bad lol


I think some of them like to be bullied tbh
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23 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 3/15/13

aeb0717 wrote:

When someone is continuously broken down to the point of seriously considering suicide and/or murder. When serious bodily injury occurs, specifically when the victims life is put at risk, as well. I'm a mother bear type, so I will always have trouble keeping myself from interfering long before these sort of things happen to those that I care about, but I know that it's not good if they don't learn to stand up for themselves. If people like me continuously protect them, they won't be able to defend themselves when we're not around.


How does this justify the act of bullying?
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 3/15/13
Your behavior is suspiciously similar to that of someone endeavoring to make me conform to their beliefs. How do you justify that? The same concept applies to other people attempting to eradicate the existence of bullying, and trying to FORCE "bullies" into behaving a certain way. That's taking away personal freedom. That's tyranny and hypocrisy. Do you understand yet? There's no need to justify bullying when it will always exist in some form or another.
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