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Solutions to Bullying
a619ko 
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21 / M
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Posted 8/27/12
^^

Yeah, during my middle school years, I transferred to a different school since my parents moved.

Few weeks in, some skater punk wanna be tried picking a fight with me by trying to trip me, coming right besides me, putting he's shoulder over me, right leg over my left. (Since I was the new kid, I guess he tried to 'show me my place', or for whatever odd reason he tried to humiliate me, maybe to show of to his friends)

Anyways, I punched the shit out of him. He didn't know how to fight, I grew up with rough cousins older then me, plus I was a bit bigger then him.

So, I've came to the conclusion, that bullies, should have the shit beaten out of them.
That's my solution.

Sometimes, enough is enough.

You know?
Posted 8/27/12
soo true :/
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33 / M
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Posted 8/27/12
Well, maybe here is a different perspective.

I was bullied relentlessly from about 3rd grade to 9th, at which point I was pulled out of school for my own safety by the school board. By that time, I had been shot once in the leg, knifed twice, and beaten black and blue so many times, I could never count them. I as "that kid." You know, the one everyone loves to hate because he's so weird? I was legally blind, so I had to sit up at the front of class and use binoculars to see the board. I was so sickly from asthma and others, I missed about 70 days/year of school and was so skinny, you could count my ribs. I was also a walking dictionary and cute little blond-haired boy with a piping high soprano voice that the teachers loved (man, that really didn't help!). By 14 years old, I had tried suicide twice, but that didn't work out, thankfully.

Some other things that did not help:
- Fighting back: I took karate classes. Maybe I got respect from 2 kids, but for the rest, 68 lbs of weakling is still 68 lbs of weakling, but maybe they got bored a little less quickly, so the beatings were longer. Fail.
- Teachers, principals, the school board, etc...: Some cared, some did not. Certainly, to the school board, I was the different one, the annoyance, the problem to solve for them. Certainly, none of them could do anything that made it change.
- Parents: My Mom would call other mom's and tell them their kid had beaten me up and that they should stop. That always got the "Not my Johnny!" response, followed by Johnny kicking my ass the next day.
- Christian School: Much worse. It seemed like every kid too violent or stupid and who washed out of public school got sent there. Very little Christianity going on at all. While I did make a few friends I still cherish today, I also had kids who would openly pray that I would die. Nice.
- Moving: Well, maybe that helped a bit... but mainly I just went from getting beaten up by inner city thugs to being beaten up by redneck Ku Klux Klan wannabes.

But, you know what worked? I SURVIVED. I got out of high school and went to college and suddenly, everything changed. People were more interested in my mind and personality, not how cool or even masculine I was or was not. I made friends, I built a life, things got better... way better!

And you know what else? I wouldn't change any of it now. My history made me what I am today, a "World Beater." Nothing and no one can defeat me. I never give up. When others say "we're doomed" I say "there's a way." People also can tell that I'm not just way different, but that I really care about them, am glad to see them, and value what it is that makes each one of them special. These things have made me extremely successful in life and in my work. I would not change a single thing.

Please don't think I'm bragging. I wanted to say this as a way of reaching out to those of you who have been bullied or still are and saying to you "Things really do get better... and not just better... they get great!" Cherish what makes you different and special, it will be EXACTLY what makes you successful as an adult. Just hold on a bit longer. SURVIVE. Make it through and then show everyone what you are made of as an adult!
Posted 8/27/12 , edited 8/27/12
Learn some awesome blocking moves - don't hit back and make it worse.
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42 / M / Texas
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Posted 8/27/12
death sentence nuff said
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USA
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Posted 8/27/12
Bullying is something that will happen regardless. Even if you stop in in schools, it still can happen in other places. I've heard that bullying can speed the growth hormones in a young child's body in able for them to properly react to what feelings they are having whilst they are being bullied. It's like taking away their innocence and making them experience extreme anger or sadness for the first time in life. Eventually they learn how to react to that, but at a price. Since their growth hormones are sped up, their biological age is greater than their actual age. In the end, children who were bullied at a young age lose about 5 years from their expected life span.
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25 / M / Kingsport, Tennes...
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Posted 8/27/12
Here's my solution: Laugh!
Posted 8/27/12 , edited 8/27/12
Be physically stronger than them lol I always was a bit of an awkward nerd, but I also loved to work out...not ALL the time yet in high school I was the second strongest male already as a 10th grader at 5'11, 200lbs of muscle...the first was 5'9 and a whopping 260lbs of muscle, but I think he was using something extra if you know what I mean. I know its not for everyone but it worked for me ...sometimes I would bully the bully just so he knew what it felt like. Bully's always picked on guys much smaller than them...that would bore me to death
I was kinda quiet and introverted, so sometimes, I would call them a brave bully would test me then I'd put them in their place in front of everyone lol of course he wouldn't try to fight me because I already knew he was a coward to begin with so I didn't hesitate at all
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F / потерян
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Posted 8/27/12
There's no way to stop bullying.
Only to stand up to the bullies.
Posted 8/28/12
Rub soap on their shoes and make a bull chase after em`.
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37 / M
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Posted 8/28/12

bexstar01 wrote:

Bullying should be called what it really is: abuse, harassment, and assault.
It should never be a natural part of life because it is not good or holistic to hurt others.
Bullying Is endemic to all areas of society, and it is just as prevalent in the adult workforce as it is in middle school or high school.
Schools should have a zero tolerance policy on bullying I think, and they should be welcoming and provide warm and safe environments for persons who are bullied to come forward.


Zero tolerance policies are what encourage bullying. Bullies don't care about zero tolerance policies. They will bully regardless. Either they will hit you when teachers aren't looking or aren't around, and/or they don't care about the possible ramifications (detention/suspension/expulsion). The one that zero tolerance policies hurt are the bullied, who can't fight back because of the trouble they would get into from the policies.
Posted 8/28/12
Keep notes of all the incidents of harassment. Record it on video and or audio if possible. Tell a responsible adult, with witnesses if possible. If that fails using violence may be effective.
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21 / Dreamscape
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Posted 8/28/12 , edited 8/28/12
So how do you stop bullying? In all honesty there's no way to completely eliminate bullying in its entirety. Simply due to the fact that Human Beings are animals, we have animal instincts and therefore, regardless of what society tries to put into our heads we still behave like animals from time to time. Bullying is the whole Alpha Male/Female instinct down on the most basic of levels. Since we are human it goes beyond that and we have various emotions and motivations involved. The possibilities for why people bully are endless, it could be as simple as, "Hey he/she has nicer clothes than I do" to "My life is living hell, my father beats me and I can't do anything about it but I'm so pissed off that I need to vent my frustration on someone else." And every possible thought process between and past those two examples.

If we accept the fact that all people are inherently good and just, then it's a natural assumption that the negative act of bullying can be stopped. Which is why the schools most likely have come up with the, "Tell a teacher," policy in regards to bullying. In the plan a student is being bullied by another student, so the bullied student goes up to their teacher and says, "Jimmy keeps punching me and pouring milk down my pants! Do something!" SO the teacher takes Jimmy aside and gives him a scolding and some wisdom on how to correctly treat his peers. Then Jimmy and his victim get along and become lasting friends, after Jimmy's heartfelt apology of course. Now that's the core idea behind that plan, however since we are human that means we don't know everything and act on what we do know, or perceive to be true. So let's take another look at this situation. The bullied student goes to a teacher and tells him/her that Jimmy has been bullying them. However this teacher has Jimmy in his/her class and the two get along fine. Jimmy has always been respectful and well mannered in class, getting his work done and turned in on time and never speaking out of turn. So the teacher, who doesn't think Jimmy would really bully someone goes to Jimmy and says, "Hey jimmy, Tommy said that you've been bullying him. Is that true?" To which Jimmy would most likely answer, "What, no I haven't been bullying him." Now the teacher may ask hi ma couple more times but since they have such a great relationship and Jimmy is so well liked by the rest of his peers and none of Jimmy's friends that the teacher asks say that Jimmy has been bullying Tommy. What's more, Tommy doesn't really talk in class, mostly keeping his nose in a book and not really paying attention to the lesson. Also he's kind of weird and smells odd and doesn't seem to ever brush his teeth, not that the teacher would ever say that. So what happens next? Nothing happens to Jimmy because there's no evidence that he's been bullying Tommy, despite what Tommy says. However, Tommy has been cast as the liar in the teacher's mind since there was no evidence to support his complaint that Jimmy was bullying him. After this is all said and done, Jimmy hits Tommy extra hard and pours two cartons of milk down his pants along with giving him a wedgie for telling on him even though he didn't get into trouble. This is just a possible example of the way the system can fail. The school doesn't want to breed violence so they tell Tommy that if he throws a punch he'll get suspended, or possibly expelled from school. SO knowing that he goes to a teacher instead of fighting but the system hurts him instead of helping him.

I've given an example of how the system could fail by getting a teacher involved in the process. That isn't always the case, most likely, but it could be a reasonable possibility depending on the individuals involved. Let's look at some possible ways of stopping a bully by yourself. Keep in mind that bullies, like other predators such as lions or wolves, search for weak targets to prey upon, or band together into a pack to take on larger targets. So if they think you're weak then there's the possibility of attracting a bully. SO if you do attract a bully how do you deal with it without going to the staff? You could simply ignore the bully, don't give them the satisfaction of their words hurting you. Brush them off and after a while they'll realize they can't affect you and move on. (Easier said than done) There's the blackmail approach where you discover something that could socially outcast them and exploit it. You could use the gang method, where you acquire a group of friends that may make a bully think twice about victimizing you. If it's cyber bullying as they call it you can block their attempts to contact you, or again just ignore what they say. You could always become a bully yourself and bully them back, not that that'd solve anything. The final option is the use of force to end the torment. Now I'm not saying that you go up and beat the living shit out of the person for looking at you intimidatingly. You don't want to be the instigator of a fight if you can help it. What you do want to do if this is all that's left if the other options fail is wait for them to get physically violent, if you can help it. I know that sounds stupid but you don't want to start a fight, that looks even worse to the school system than if it was self defense. (Plus if you say they were bullying you after you start the fight you get the added crap by them asking why you didn't tell anyone. Telling them that it wouldn't have done anything isn't an answer even if it's the truth.) So they start pushing you around physically, or they hit you. You do not allow that to go on. Once it happens the first time and you don't do anything it'll just get worse. So you fight back after that first physical attack. They might be bigger than you, and they might have friends around them, but you need to do what you can even if you don't have any martial arts knowledge. If the bully is bigger than you, go for the weak spots (Assuming male aggressor) aim for the crotch or get them on the side of the knee. The thing is you need to fight dirty. If it's a group you have to fight dirty and be quick about it while being aware of the situation around you. If a girl starts physically abusing you do not be afraid to hit back. Also, don't bring in a gun or knife to try and scare off the bully. It may not work and just make things worse. Knives are easy to come by, and depending on the family so could guns. Once those weapons come up it's a whole different game that you don't want to play. Just stick with simple hand to hand, unless you have no choice but do not needlessly escalate the possibility of violence. These are just some ideas

A solution for ending most bullying not just personal issues? Bring back the idea of corporal punishment in schools. It is a sensitive topic, I know as the possibility of abuse could show up, or the furthering of parental abuse if the school starts beating the kid too, but suspensions aren't necessarily an answer to anything. Sure it removes the student from school for a limited time, but do they learn anything from being suspended, either in or out of school? Or is it just simply a way for them to get away from something they dislike and sit at home doing what they want to? (Depending on the parents of course.) Pain is the best teacher. When you were young and you touched the stove you got burned. You learned then that stoves aren't to be touched because it'll hurt you. The idea is somewhat the same as that. The kid starts bullying someone and gets paddled by a staff member. Now, the bully has the possibility of physical pain to look forward to for bullying, which may be too much a loss for the possible gain.

These are more or less my opinions based on some intuition I have gained and the experience of some of my situations involving school staff in the past.
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M / Cali
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Posted 8/28/12
Sometimes is always good to just walk away, even if the bullying gets persistent. At some point, you would have to speak up, ask the people bullying you why they would pick on you and what good doe they get from it. Bullies like to pick on those who are different than others or because they want to seem like a tough ass to others for the impression. I'll humiliate the bully anyway I can without having a physical outcome.
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20 / M
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Posted 8/28/12
bullies are just people who have nothing and have nobody, the way i dealt with them was i made fun of them in front of the class he backed away and stopped trying to bully me we became friends later on. I was never bullied nor do i ever plan on bullying somebody but the way i deal with them is fight words with words.
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