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Post Reply Solutions to Bullying
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19 / F / Tiphares
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Posted 8/28/12

herrmnky wrote:

There is a good deal of published research on bullying. What it is... Who it effects... Reasonable ways to deal with it... etc. This is not the forum you should go to for advice. A school councilor can give you some advice, but won't necessarily be the best person. A librarian can help you find information on bullying if you are truly interested. If you have a university near you, they may have a librarian who specializes in education, which is even better. The best of all choice is find someone who studies bullying, email them, and see if they can point you in the right direction.

There are lots of anti-bullying programs out there. They aren't in my field, so I don't know how well they work, but I do know there is a lot of information out there, if you take the time to look.


Agreed. Though just to add use mace or pepper spray , though that'd probably cause more harm than good
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21 / M / Shinagawa
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Posted 8/29/12

AshRandom wrote:


Big_A wrote:

The only way to get rid of a bully is to ignore all they say, but in a proud way. As if you just don't care. Your aura must be confident and you must never show that what he/she says hurts.

If he hits you and stuff, you have to fight back with all you got. You have the right to defend yourself. If he is to strong, you got to learn martial arts or work out really hard.

Telling on the bully NEVER helps! It helps for like a week or so, but then it's on again. Trust me on this. The only way to help a kid from a bully is to teach him to do it himself.


Your post is my example to herrmnky that random posts from a forum for cartoons would be just the same as the collected research. In your case intuitively accurate, and in other cases wildly off base. Just like the majority of the literature.

People have created a host of false constructs when analyzing reality and even when you show them that the vast majority of their base assumptions are false, they still act like it's acceptable to hope to create a working solution from their original model. I find it deeply dishonest.

If we pretend that stopping the bully from asserting himself on school grounds is going to help, we're pretending that they can't literally follow their victims home and online. Then there's the presumption that it's possible to correctly judge who the real victim and real aggressors are in a fight. Administrators and teachers don't have an education in psychological analysis, nor do they always have the emotional intelligence to see through a charade, or past their own bias, even if they did. Baiting is a reality. Framing people is a reality. Stereotypes are a reality. If we setup rules to punish bullies, those rules are going to be used by the bullies themselves to get administrators to do harm. (Like I said, I fear breeding a generation of criminal masterminds).

I fear in their failure of analysis that they have created a false reality and then come up with ways to fix that phantom problem. If you apply methods that way, you inevitably drive off the road because you end up over correcting, or correcting things which aren't broken.

The gambit itself -- the personal fight against bullies -- is a lesson to be learned by all humans in their youth. It teaches the majority of us to love the underdog. It teaches us to identify with the underdog. It teaches us to watch each other's backs. Removing it has disastrous social consequences for the future health of the world because it has basic developmental ramifications for the individual.

Half the books on the topic of bullying don't take any of that into account. They just present ways to reduce, or remove bullying. Like there's even a consensus that we should. To put it bluntly, we might actually need to let kids fight. It's possible that the correct course of action is to let the fight and make sure they do it in ways that don't always kill them. A little killing might be okay.... That's the extent of it. Pretending we can regulate this is one thing. Pretending we should regulate it is another and they're rarely both addressed at the same time, except in cases where the person falsely asserts there's no positive benefit. Anyone who concludes, or would conclude that it should not be removed, wouldn't then create a method to remove it.


Okay, I tried to understand any of that stuff you just said and well... I stand where I stod in the post before. I know this because that's the exact way I got rid of a bully in 3 - 6 grade. So say what you want. I believe in this because I know that the goal of bullying is to somehow beat down the target mentally or physically. If the target refuses to show the bully any sign of pain or weakness the whole concept seems kinda hopeless for the bully, right?

And sure... I learned alot about myself after that, but I was never that same person that I was before it all got down. And well... it's never fun to lose everything that made you into YOU just so that you could blend in and keep having this "shield" of toughness outside the real you. I soon forgot how I used to be before and I still don't remember "the real me". I suppose we all change, but some of these changes aren't that good.
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31 / M / Currently on Earth
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Posted 8/29/12
Defining bullying:
Picked on, harassed, name calling, having things thrown at you, punching, kicking, been threatened, having things stolen from you.
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21 / M / Maine
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Posted 8/29/12
I was always a fan of beating the hell out of bullies
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22 / M
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Posted 8/29/12
Telling your parents and teachers is the best step. Almost all of the parents will do something about it. Most, if not all, of the teacher, from my experience, do care about these kinds of issues and would help the students.
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35 / New York
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Posted 8/29/12

Big_A wrote:


AshRandom wrote:


Big_A wrote:

The only way to get rid of a bully is to ignore all they say, but in a proud way. As if you just don't care. Your aura must be confident and you must never show that what he/she says hurts.

If he hits you and stuff, you have to fight back with all you got. You have the right to defend yourself. If he is to strong, you got to learn martial arts or work out really hard.

Telling on the bully NEVER helps! It helps for like a week or so, but then it's on again. Trust me on this. The only way to help a kid from a bully is to teach him to do it himself.


Your post is my example to herrmnky that random posts from a forum for cartoons would be just the same as the collected research. In your case intuitively accurate, and in other cases wildly off base. Just like the majority of the literature.

People have created a host of false constructs when analyzing reality and even when you show them that the vast majority of their base assumptions are false, they still act like it's acceptable to hope to create a working solution from their original model. I find it deeply dishonest.

If we pretend that stopping the bully from asserting himself on school grounds is going to help, we're pretending that they can't literally follow their victims home and online. Then there's the presumption that it's possible to correctly judge who the real victim and real aggressors are in a fight. Administrators and teachers don't have an education in psychological analysis, nor do they always have the emotional intelligence to see through a charade, or past their own bias, even if they did. Baiting is a reality. Framing people is a reality. Stereotypes are a reality. If we setup rules to punish bullies, those rules are going to be used by the bullies themselves to get administrators to do harm. (Like I said, I fear breeding a generation of criminal masterminds).

I fear in their failure of analysis that they have created a false reality and then come up with ways to fix that phantom problem. If you apply methods that way, you inevitably drive off the road because you end up over correcting, or correcting things which aren't broken.

The gambit itself -- the personal fight against bullies -- is a lesson to be learned by all humans in their youth. It teaches the majority of us to love the underdog. It teaches us to identify with the underdog. It teaches us to watch each other's backs. Removing it has disastrous social consequences for the future health of the world because it has basic developmental ramifications for the individual.

Half the books on the topic of bullying don't take any of that into account. They just present ways to reduce, or remove bullying. Like there's even a consensus that we should. To put it bluntly, we might actually need to let kids fight. It's possible that the correct course of action is to let the fight and make sure they do it in ways that don't always kill them. A little killing might be okay.... That's the extent of it. Pretending we can regulate this is one thing. Pretending we should regulate it is another and they're rarely both addressed at the same time, except in cases where the person falsely asserts there's no positive benefit. Anyone who concludes, or would conclude that it should not be removed, wouldn't then create a method to remove it.


Okay, I tried to understand any of that stuff you just said and well... I stand where I stod in the post before. I know this because that's the exact way I got rid of a bully in 3 - 6 grade. So say what you want. I believe in this because I know that the goal of bullying is to somehow beat down the target mentally or physically. If the target refuses to show the bully any sign of pain or weakness the whole concept seems kinda hopeless for the bully, right?

And sure... I learned alot about myself after that, but I was never that same person that I was before it all got down. And well... it's never fun to lose everything that made you into YOU just so that you could blend in and keep having this "shield" of toughness outside the real you. I soon forgot how I used to be before and I still don't remember "the real me". I suppose we all change, but some of these changes aren't that good.


Don't worry, as I said in the second sentence, you're spot on.

There are researchers and authors on this topic who have failed to land with their needle facing in as true of a position as your intuition has lead you.

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Posted 8/29/12
Ignore, laugh, crack a personal joke if you have thick skin, make connections - "Who doesn't have a bad hair day? I just have one every day. You, on the other hand, have fabulous horse hair. I LOVE it.", retort - "Your self esteem is lower than the Dead Sea.", and/or be really nice to them.

Personal experience, but everyone is bullied differently. Unfortunately. So we can't always use the same solutions.



Posted 8/31/12
bully.
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19 / F
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Posted 8/31/12
Idek. Shouldn't people already know bullying is fking stupid and not worth the time. Sure, some people have their reasons or probably went through some really complicated sht at some point in their life. With all the awareness about bullying, they should already know that fking bullying isn't right, and there are better things to do.

Short: those who bully are fking stupid as fk. those who keep quiet because they're scared while getting bullied are also stupid as fk. Like cmon, defend your stupid little ass and do something.

#myopinion #stupidfgts #UGH #hashtag #l0l
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28 / M / Boston, MA
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Posted 8/31/12
Simple.

Bas Rutten them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHFPzNrkKQ0
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 8/31/12
Do what I did, I beat the shit out of my bully. If you show that you can and will defend yourself people won't fuck with you. I admit I got in school suspension because of our fight but I'd say it was worth it. Also all these ads claiming that you should be polite, tell an adult or whatever never really work. It just makes you look weak or stupid.
Queen Moderator
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26 / X / Rochester, NY
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Posted 9/1/12 , edited 9/1/12
Bullying will always be around.
Always has been and always will be.
People don't understand the long term effects when they are younger.
It's a vicious cycle...


>Boy 1 is bullied by father, he's the jock of the school, he isn't good enough for his dad
>Boy 1 goes to school and takes anger out on boy 2
>boy 2 is a skater/punk, whatever.
>Boy 2 feels weak because of Boy 1
>Boy 2 turns around and picks on Boy 3
Until eventually shit rolls so far down hill that
>boy 3 can't take any more and tries taking his own life

This stuff happens, and people don't realize how much their actions effect more than just the 1 person they bully.
Although I'd like it to stop, it never will. It's just a sick, cruel cycle.
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24 / M / Chesapeake, VA
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Posted 9/1/12
Teach the bullied person how to fight, have tougher punishment for bullies, have camera's installed on every corner of the school(And bathrooms, not in the stalls of course) and educate students and teachers on bullying and how to deal with it.
Posted 10/15/12
stand up for yourself?
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 10/15/12
Sodomy in a Turkish prison. Solves most behavioral problems right quick.
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