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Living in seclusion
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33 / F / North Pole
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Posted 9/5/12
I have tons of friends yet often I feel very alone.

I don't think it has anything to do with maturity at all.

Sometimes bad experiences make you want to be alone for a while.
And it happens that a 'while' can be too long even before you realize it.
I don't think you should bash OP but rather offer support.

Sure some ppl sux out there, some are mean to no end.
But hey, there are still good ones.
I hope you feel less alone some day~!

cheers
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21 / M / United States of...
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Posted 9/5/12
Its just me and my dog most of the time but thats all I need. I like my solitude
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25 / Behind you
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Posted 9/5/12


Yeah sorta lonely most of the time. Wish I had somebody I could really talk to when I'm down. Instead negative thoughts just build up with no way to unwind.

Randomly posting on CR where most people won't even see my post, is as close as I have to getting things off my chest.
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33 / M
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Posted 9/5/12

netdisorder wrote:

Yeah sorta lonely most of the time. Wish I had somebody I could really talk to when I'm down. Instead negative thoughts just build up with no way to unwind.

Randomly posting on CR where most people won't even see my post, is as close as I have to getting things off my chest.


I understand completely. I know that if I were to talk about the things that bother me with other people IRL no one would really care or be willing to offer any kind of useful or sincere support. (Unless I were to go to a shrink and pay lots of money. Money makes people care, right? Damn self-centric society we live in. ) So yeah, if I see a topic centered around something that I can relate to and it's bothering me or concerns me, then posting to it is a way to get what's bothering me off my chest and to relieve some of the stress, anxiety, frustration, etc... and who knows, maybe someone out there will post a constructive reply.
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25 / Behind you
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Posted 9/5/12 , edited 9/5/12

Pyralis1 wrote:


netdisorder wrote:

Yeah sorta lonely most of the time. Wish I had somebody I could really talk to when I'm down. Instead negative thoughts just build up with no way to unwind.

Randomly posting on CR where most people won't even see my post, is as close as I have to getting things off my chest.


I understand completely. I know that if I were to talk about the things that bother me with other people IRL no one would really care or be willing to offer any kind of useful or sincere support. (Unless I were to go to a shrink and pay lots of money. Money makes people care, right? Damn self-centric society we live in. ) So yeah, if I see a topic centered around something that I can relate to and it's bothering me or concerns me, then posting to it is a way to get what's bothering me off my chest and to relieve some of the stress, anxiety, frustration, etc... and who knows, maybe someone out there will post a constructive reply.


I see a psychiatrist regularly but not for loneliness or depression per se. It's pretty much just going in and talking about my life and what's going on and the psychiatrist throws in a word or two to give the sense of an option at a better goal.

I only get to do this once a month and my medicaid doesn't cover it so it costs somewhere around $200 out of pocket for my family. It helps a little but is far from a cure for the issues that I have.

Depression/Isolation and poor social skills come with the diagnosis I have that is schizophrenia and manic bipolar. So they say the regular thoughts of suicide or paranoia/delusions make it mandatory for me to seek therapy when all I really need is somewhere to vent often overwhelming feelings.
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Florida, US
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Posted 9/5/12

HideoFTW wrote:

Does anyone ever feel like no matter what they'll do they will always be lonely? Like I go out, meet people and work - but I spend more time by myself than I want too and I can't really reach out for other people. So emotionally I feel stilted and like a recluse. Still using anime as an escape since I was 12. Life is all a bit confusing to me


wow, those are the same sentiments i've been having for the past 2-3 years.

kinda refreshing to hear similar perspectives.. i feel ya on this buddy.


Posted 9/5/12
I think we all have those times that we realize that we are ultimately alone. No matter how close you get to someone and how well you get along with people, they can never feel the same way you feel as you.
Posted 9/5/12

HideoFTW wrote:

Does anyone ever feel like no matter what they'll do they will always be lonely? Like I go out, meet people and work - but I spend more time by myself than I want too and I can't really reach out for other people. So emotionally I feel stilted and like a recluse. Still using anime as an escape since I was 12. Life is all a bit confusing to me


If you're a guy you have your work cut out for you. Depends on what kind of companionship you are looking for but if it's just cool friends I suggest joining clubs/interest groups if you are still in HS or College. Good suggestions that are great for mixing and meeting people: Learn to work on cars, get involved watching professional sports like Football and Baseball or workout like a fiend and try the intramural classes at the gym like Yoga and Aerobics. Women always dig a reasonably fit guy that has no qualms about putting down the weights and coming in for the cycling classes and active adult fitness routines. If not any of that, hang out with your work buddies and see if they can introduce you to anyone. They might know some pretty cool peeps and it's generally a safe approach since you aren't greeting and trying to get to know random strangers on the street.

If you're a girl irregardless of age or interests, I advise smiling at the next 6 random guys you see the next time you go out. I guarantee you won't be lonely within 5 mins of that. However, along with that I'd advise that you exercise reasonable selection since you probably don't want to get approached by anyone rocking a neckbeard or pervo glasses or creepy old men, etc. Just sayin'
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25 / F / Georgia
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Posted 9/5/12
It's leaning towards that more and more for me. Apart of me still wants to travel and do activities outdoors and help others one day, but I feel more content indoors, away from people. Only downside with being a recluse is that I feel terribly lonesome.
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22 / M / Australia
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Posted 9/5/12
This

Watermelonheaven wrote:

I think we all have those times that we realize that we are ultimately alone. No matter how close you get to someone and how well you get along with people, they can never feel the same way you feel as you.


And this

StealthWar42I like flying solo personally. No depression or any of this moodiness crap... just like my solitude half the time.


I understand. But coming to a forum, for sympathy.. Ridiculous
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66 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 9/5/12
I think many of us have had the feelings you describe at some point in our lives. It might be a phase you're experiencing or it may be a preference. Myself, I didn't mind the solitude until I reached my mid-thirties. Hobbies can occupy your mind and time for a little while but they cannot take the place of a real friend or group of friends. At some point in your later life you may experience a feeling in your soul that just will not go away or silence itself no matter what diversions you generate to mask the emptiness inside. The solution is going to involve risking.

Other posters have offered salient suggestions about how to cope. I highly recommend you take their suggestions to heart and experiment meeting people and/or participating in events where there will be constructive interactions. You don't have to adopt to any societal construct that belies your sense of self or mocks your beliefs but don't sabotage any possibility for constructive change.

I do know that as you age if you continue to avoid transitioning from a place of lack, want, wishing to belonging you will eventually go mad. The changes are slow, subtle too.

Susan Jeffers wrote a book a few years back that might be helpful: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. It helped me a lot when I was in between relationships. Gloriosky, she even has a webpage now.

A word of caution however: self-help books, when they work, are a god-send. Some are helpful, but others are destructive. Life is a gift and is precious. Living it, on the other hand, is a never-ending challenge and there are no easy answers.

You'll do OK if you just take the risk and give yourself the chance.
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27 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 9/5/12
It's strange.

At times I feel like I'm the only person in the world who will ever understand me. It seems as if I'm a sort of spectre and I can interact with the material world and flesh-and-blood people around me in limited ways, but I'm not fully integrated.

But at other times I feel an extreme connection and closeness with every person, object, animal, plant around me. I tend to get these awe-inspiring moments when I'm hiking in a place and see something of extreme natural beauty, or an event happens that really draws me towards empathizing with the people around me.

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