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WOMEN AND GIRLS why are you so hard on your self when it comes to the way you view your body?
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19 / F / Florida
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Posted 3/19/13
"OHEMGEE THE MEDEE-UH IS BAD THEY SHOW US PRETTY THINGZ AND WE CANT BE AS PETTY AS THOSE THINGS :(((((("

Of course the media shows the most attractive men and women in ads and television shows, because who the hell wants to look at ugly people, who would buy clothes modeled by an obese lady? It's just the way marketing works, people are just insecure dumbasses who can't look at anything better than them without wanting to be it.
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Posted 3/19/13

marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:

Tch. OP, you're only talking about girls that are mostly attractive anyway but pick at one little thing about themselves, aren't you? You say a lot of nice things, but chances are you don't mean them for women who really need it. Most men would probably balk at what I look like. My stomach is enormous. I have huge lovehandles and rolls of fat on my back. I only weigh 170, but I used to weigh a lot more, and that probably affects how I carry that 170 now. I do have a boyfriend that loves me and is attracted to me, but most men (and queer women) wouldn't be. I hate what I look like regardless of what my boyfriend thinks. Probably because of years of people more or less telling me that it was disgusting for me to even have a sex drive.


I'm talking about all types of women...the example was to say that even women that are looked at as perfect have issues. Yes she had one thing she was insecure about, but that one thing would make her depressed from time to time.


Yeah, and that is bad. But it rubs me the wrong way how guys will say things like this, but still if you are a woman that would commonly be considered unattractive, you're still going to be ignored, looked down on, mocked, et cetera. Often by guys who make these claims. Yes, it's sad when a beautiful woman thinks she's ugly because she isn't photoshopped celebrity beautiful, but it's more common for a girl who actually is pretty far from the common beauty standard to have her self esteem pummeled into the ground for it.

I really don't trust most men who make claims like yours. It's almost always only for the actual "pretty" girls.

Also not directly aimed at you, OP, but a note on makeup; it's not something that's only used to cover something about a woman's face that she's insecure about. It's not always to "fix" anything. Personally I use makeup regularly because I genuinely enjoy using it. Quite frankly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'd be prettier without makeup or whatever else. I enjoy it. And I'm not the only one.


Thank you for your response,
The thing is that I, like every guy has a ideal type of woman that I'm attracted to and you may or may not fall in that category, but its OK for us to to have these specific qualifications for a mate. Also there are those who are naturally attractive without trying, but what I am saying is that: no matter what your type is there will be plenty of men into you. As far as the weight issue is concerned....there are dating services online or in RL that cater to men who love nothing but plus size women(this is just one example). If you have some one who loves you for you isn't THAT what really matters in the long run? Because that love of all that you are is what we desire as human beings male or female...am I right?


Okay, two things.

1. Do you have any idea how patronizing it is when some guy tells you "aww, don't feel bad, you're beautiful! But *I* don't want to date you, *I'm* not attracted to you. But *everyone* is beautiful and surely *someday* you'll find a guy that thinks you're gorgeous!" ? Yeah, no. It's not cute. It's not reassuring. It's just obnoxious and actually kind of hurtful. If someone is lonely and used to being rejected over and over, you telling them that a mythological "someone" that's currently about as real to them as a dragon is will love them doesn't help.

2. Fat fetishists are usually disgusting people. It's common for them to not even care about the girls they chase after as people. They're horrible about objectifying [fat] women. They're almost never good people to get into relationships with.

I'd also like to point out that it's kind of gross how much focus is put on *men* eventually wanting us. Some women like women. Maybe some of us want a special woman to find us attractive. Male-centric viewpoints and arguments annoy me a lot, tbh.
Posted 3/19/13
If we had curly hair we want straight hair, when we have straight hair we want curly hair. Life.
Posted 3/19/13 , edited 3/19/13

feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:

Tch. OP, you're only talking about girls that are mostly attractive anyway but pick at one little thing about themselves, aren't you? You say a lot of nice things, but chances are you don't mean them for women who really need it. Most men would probably balk at what I look like. My stomach is enormous. I have huge lovehandles and rolls of fat on my back. I only weigh 170, but I used to weigh a lot more, and that probably affects how I carry that 170 now. I do have a boyfriend that loves me and is attracted to me, but most men (and queer women) wouldn't be. I hate what I look like regardless of what my boyfriend thinks. Probably because of years of people more or less telling me that it was disgusting for me to even have a sex drive.


I'm talking about all types of women...the example was to say that even women that are looked at as perfect have issues. Yes she had one thing she was insecure about, but that one thing would make her depressed from time to time.


Yeah, and that is bad. But it rubs me the wrong way how guys will say things like this, but still if you are a woman that would commonly be considered unattractive, you're still going to be ignored, looked down on, mocked, et cetera. Often by guys who make these claims. Yes, it's sad when a beautiful woman thinks she's ugly because she isn't photoshopped celebrity beautiful, but it's more common for a girl who actually is pretty far from the common beauty standard to have her self esteem pummeled into the ground for it.

I really don't trust most men who make claims like yours. It's almost always only for the actual "pretty" girls.

Also not directly aimed at you, OP, but a note on makeup; it's not something that's only used to cover something about a woman's face that she's insecure about. It's not always to "fix" anything. Personally I use makeup regularly because I genuinely enjoy using it. Quite frankly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'd be prettier without makeup or whatever else. I enjoy it. And I'm not the only one.


Thank you for your response,
The thing is that I, like every guy has a ideal type of woman that I'm attracted to and you may or may not fall in that category, but its OK for us to to have these specific qualifications for a mate. Also there are those who are naturally attractive without trying, but what I am saying is that: no matter what your type is there will be plenty of men into you. As far as the weight issue is concerned....there are dating services online or in RL that cater to men who love nothing but plus size women(this is just one example). If you have some one who loves you for you isn't THAT what really matters in the long run? Because that love of all that you are is what we desire as human beings male or female...am I right?


Okay, two things.

1. Do you have any idea how patronizing it is when some guy tells you "aww, don't feel bad, you're beautiful! But *I* don't want to date you, *I'm* not attracted to you. But *everyone* is beautiful and surely *someday* you'll find a guy that thinks you're gorgeous!" ? Yeah, no. It's not cute. It's not reassuring. It's just obnoxious and actually kind of hurtful. If someone is lonely and used to being rejected over and over, you telling them that a mythological "someone" that's currently about as real to them as a dragon is will love them doesn't help.

2. Fat fetishists are usually disgusting people. It's common for them to not even care about the girls they chase after as people. They're horrible about objectifying [fat] women. They're almost never good people to get into relationships with.

I'd also like to point out that it's kind of gross how much focus is put on *men* eventually wanting us. Some women like women. Maybe some of us want a special woman to find us attractive. Male-centric viewpoints and arguments annoy me a lot, tbh.


I have two things too,

Are you not one of the women with a boyfriend who loves you and you don't believe him when he say your beautiful, so other women who don't have someone will also be annoyed by your post. They might think that your complaining is annoying do to you not being lonley in the first place. . I did not say that you were not my type ...please don't put words in my mouth.

Secondly,

Fat fetishes are very very different from men who just want to date plus size women. There are good men who are into plus size women and there are perverted jerks...hmmm, but that isn't just subject to plus size women. There are many fetishes for super skinny women, talll amazons and much more. I'm saying that there are perverted jerks to go around every type of woman.

And lastly,

Lol this one came out from nowhere, but I'll still respond. You can go for a girl...I doubt it will be as different as you think it will be. I am not attracted to bi or lez(straight for a day)women...I like firm grounded thinkers and not the confused ones. If you can't make your mind on the big things in life what about the small ones I always say. So going to women wouldn't matter to me because there are sooo many straight ones to choose from.
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Posted 3/19/13 , edited 3/19/13
I'm F*ing adorable. But even I can be self-conscious about my looks. It's human nature to want to look attractive to the opposite sex. To those women that think men aren't just as self-conscious about our looks, you're wrong. Society simply holds men to different standards when it comes to beauty. Try telling your boyfriend his hair looks like it's thinning. :P

You and me baby are nuttin' but mammals...
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Posted 3/19/13
we are all over.. I totally agree with this guy. i can tell that hes probably over the age of 24 just because of the maturity and understanding of a little life experience. 24-27 a lot of guys really grow up. but even younger than that hes still right, we just didn't understand and reflect on it.
Aimyay 
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Posted 3/19/13 , edited 3/19/13
Lookit this shitstorm.

Honestly, don't patronize them. Not all women hate the aesthetics of their bodies, and for those that do: it's their problem.
Not mine,
not yours,
not society's.

If they want to tear themselves apart over something so foolish and fickle let them do so without the prying of an oblivious 'nice guy'.


spacebat wrote:

I'm F*ing adorable. But even I can be self-conscious about my looks. It's human nature to want to look attractive to the opposite sex. To those women that think men aren't just as self-conscious about our looks, you're wrong. Society simply holds men to different standards when it comes to beauty. Try telling your boyfriend his hair looks like it's thinning. :P

You and me baby are nuttin' but mammals...

I'm proud of my receding hairline. If you have the decency to keep the rest of your head shaved or short it makes you look more experienced and intelligent than having a full head of hair.

I've never been sensitive to anything of my person except my weight when I was a lad. Being trim for years I haven't been self-conscious about anything I can think of that doesn't fall into proper etiquette or something that will largely effect my vectors of success in life.
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30 / M / "Spaaaaace!"
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Posted 3/19/13
So, you were sensitive about something at some point in your life?

Hey, I can relate. I didn't lump all men into that self-conscious category neither did I lump all women. There are always exceptions to the rule. Not sure if I would agree that men with a full head of hair look less intelligent though, maybe a personal bias. My girl friend sure as hell loves pulling my hair so i'd say I'd be pretty stupid to get rid of it.
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25 / M / Norway
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Posted 3/19/13
What a stupid question...
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24 / F / Indiana
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Posted 3/20/13

marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:

Tch. OP, you're only talking about girls that are mostly attractive anyway but pick at one little thing about themselves, aren't you? You say a lot of nice things, but chances are you don't mean them for women who really need it. Most men would probably balk at what I look like. My stomach is enormous. I have huge lovehandles and rolls of fat on my back. I only weigh 170, but I used to weigh a lot more, and that probably affects how I carry that 170 now. I do have a boyfriend that loves me and is attracted to me, but most men (and queer women) wouldn't be. I hate what I look like regardless of what my boyfriend thinks. Probably because of years of people more or less telling me that it was disgusting for me to even have a sex drive.


I'm talking about all types of women...the example was to say that even women that are looked at as perfect have issues. Yes she had one thing she was insecure about, but that one thing would make her depressed from time to time.


Yeah, and that is bad. But it rubs me the wrong way how guys will say things like this, but still if you are a woman that would commonly be considered unattractive, you're still going to be ignored, looked down on, mocked, et cetera. Often by guys who make these claims. Yes, it's sad when a beautiful woman thinks she's ugly because she isn't photoshopped celebrity beautiful, but it's more common for a girl who actually is pretty far from the common beauty standard to have her self esteem pummeled into the ground for it.

I really don't trust most men who make claims like yours. It's almost always only for the actual "pretty" girls.

Also not directly aimed at you, OP, but a note on makeup; it's not something that's only used to cover something about a woman's face that she's insecure about. It's not always to "fix" anything. Personally I use makeup regularly because I genuinely enjoy using it. Quite frankly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'd be prettier without makeup or whatever else. I enjoy it. And I'm not the only one.


Thank you for your response,
The thing is that I, like every guy has a ideal type of woman that I'm attracted to and you may or may not fall in that category, but its OK for us to to have these specific qualifications for a mate. Also there are those who are naturally attractive without trying, but what I am saying is that: no matter what your type is there will be plenty of men into you. As far as the weight issue is concerned....there are dating services online or in RL that cater to men who love nothing but plus size women(this is just one example). If you have some one who loves you for you isn't THAT what really matters in the long run? Because that love of all that you are is what we desire as human beings male or female...am I right?


Okay, two things.

1. Do you have any idea how patronizing it is when some guy tells you "aww, don't feel bad, you're beautiful! But *I* don't want to date you, *I'm* not attracted to you. But *everyone* is beautiful and surely *someday* you'll find a guy that thinks you're gorgeous!" ? Yeah, no. It's not cute. It's not reassuring. It's just obnoxious and actually kind of hurtful. If someone is lonely and used to being rejected over and over, you telling them that a mythological "someone" that's currently about as real to them as a dragon is will love them doesn't help.

2. Fat fetishists are usually disgusting people. It's common for them to not even care about the girls they chase after as people. They're horrible about objectifying [fat] women. They're almost never good people to get into relationships with.

I'd also like to point out that it's kind of gross how much focus is put on *men* eventually wanting us. Some women like women. Maybe some of us want a special woman to find us attractive. Male-centric viewpoints and arguments annoy me a lot, tbh.


I have two things too,

Are you not one of the women with a boyfriend who loves you and you don't believe him when he say your beautiful, so other women who don't have someone will also be annoyed by your post. They might think that your complaining is annoying do to you not being lonley in the first place. . I did not say that you were not my type ...please don't put words in my mouth.

Secondly,

Fat fetishes are very very different from men who just want to date plus size women. There are good men who are into plus size women and there are perverted jerks...hmmm, but that isn't just subject to plus size women. There are many fetishes for super skinny women, talll amazons and much more. I'm saying that there are perverted jerks to go around every type of woman.

And lastly,

Lol this one came out from nowhere, but I'll still respond. You can go for a girl...I doubt it will be as different as you think it will be. I am not attracted to bi or lez(straight for a day)women...I like firm grounded thinkers and not the confused ones. If you can't make your mind on the big things in life what about the small ones I always say. So going to women wouldn't matter to me because there are sooo many straight ones to choose from.


1. The point here is the hypothetical situation. If you want to specifically talk about you and me, there's no way in hell I'd date you regardless of if I'm "your type". I don't feel the need to get into why. And yes, I am one of those women who doesn't believe my boyfriend when he tells me I'm beautiful. Or rather, I believe that he truly thinks that, but I disagree. And the fact that I've found someone now does not erase all of the years of loneliness and of jackasses, both male and female, feeding me bs lines of "oh you're beautiful but *I'm* not attracted to you!". Being in a relationship now doesn't reverse years of damage to my self esteem.

2. These people don't exist. Not really. Sure, a few do, but know where you're not going to find them? In any sort of community discussing a love of plus size women. Those are fat fetishists, they are gross, and no one should feel like they are who they have to date.

Well, then you're a biphobic bigot whose opinion doesn't matter to me. I'm not confused. I know I like women. I have had sex with women and liked it. I have fallen in love with women. I find women sexy. I also have had sex with men and liked it, fallen in love with men, and find men sexy. It's not that hard to understand, and honestly if you can't comprehend it I don't think you're very smart.

Posted 3/20/13

feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


feuerwerke wrote:

Tch. OP, you're only talking about girls that are mostly attractive anyway but pick at one little thing about themselves, aren't you? You say a lot of nice things, but chances are you don't mean them for women who really need it. Most men would probably balk at what I look like. My stomach is enormous. I have huge lovehandles and rolls of fat on my back. I only weigh 170, but I used to weigh a lot more, and that probably affects how I carry that 170 now. I do have a boyfriend that loves me and is attracted to me, but most men (and queer women) wouldn't be. I hate what I look like regardless of what my boyfriend thinks. Probably because of years of people more or less telling me that it was disgusting for me to even have a sex drive.


I'm talking about all types of women...the example was to say that even women that are looked at as perfect have issues. Yes she had one thing she was insecure about, but that one thing would make her depressed from time to time.


Yeah, and that is bad. But it rubs me the wrong way how guys will say things like this, but still if you are a woman that would commonly be considered unattractive, you're still going to be ignored, looked down on, mocked, et cetera. Often by guys who make these claims. Yes, it's sad when a beautiful woman thinks she's ugly because she isn't photoshopped celebrity beautiful, but it's more common for a girl who actually is pretty far from the common beauty standard to have her self esteem pummeled into the ground for it.

I really don't trust most men who make claims like yours. It's almost always only for the actual "pretty" girls.

Also not directly aimed at you, OP, but a note on makeup; it's not something that's only used to cover something about a woman's face that she's insecure about. It's not always to "fix" anything. Personally I use makeup regularly because I genuinely enjoy using it. Quite frankly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'd be prettier without makeup or whatever else. I enjoy it. And I'm not the only one.


Thank you for your response,
The thing is that I, like every guy has a ideal type of woman that I'm attracted to and you may or may not fall in that category, but its OK for us to to have these specific qualifications for a mate. Also there are those who are naturally attractive without trying, but what I am saying is that: no matter what your type is there will be plenty of men into you. As far as the weight issue is concerned....there are dating services online or in RL that cater to men who love nothing but plus size women(this is just one example). If you have some one who loves you for you isn't THAT what really matters in the long run? Because that love of all that you are is what we desire as human beings male or female...am I right?


Okay, two things.

1. Do you have any idea how patronizing it is when some guy tells you "aww, don't feel bad, you're beautiful! But *I* don't want to date you, *I'm* not attracted to you. But *everyone* is beautiful and surely *someday* you'll find a guy that thinks you're gorgeous!" ? Yeah, no. It's not cute. It's not reassuring. It's just obnoxious and actually kind of hurtful. If someone is lonely and used to being rejected over and over, you telling them that a mythological "someone" that's currently about as real to them as a dragon is will love them doesn't help.

2. Fat fetishists are usually disgusting people. It's common for them to not even care about the girls they chase after as people. They're horrible about objectifying [fat] women. They're almost never good people to get into relationships with.

I'd also like to point out that it's kind of gross how much focus is put on *men* eventually wanting us. Some women like women. Maybe some of us want a special woman to find us attractive. Male-centric viewpoints and arguments annoy me a lot, tbh.


I have two things too,

Are you not one of the women with a boyfriend who loves you and you don't believe him when he say your beautiful, so other women who don't have someone will also be annoyed by your post. They might think that your complaining is annoying do to you not being lonley in the first place. . I did not say that you were not my type ...please don't put words in my mouth.

Secondly,

Fat fetishes are very very different from men who just want to date plus size women. There are good men who are into plus size women and there are perverted jerks...hmmm, but that isn't just subject to plus size women. There are many fetishes for super skinny women, talll amazons and much more. I'm saying that there are perverted jerks to go around every type of woman.

And lastly,

Lol this one came out from nowhere, but I'll still respond. You can go for a girl...I doubt it will be as different as you think it will be. I am not attracted to bi or lez(straight for a day)women...I like firm grounded thinkers and not the confused ones. If you can't make your mind on the big things in life what about the small ones I always say. So going to women wouldn't matter to me because there are sooo many straight ones to choose from.


1. The point here is the hypothetical situation. If you want to specifically talk about you and me, there's no way in hell I'd date you regardless of if I'm "your type". I don't feel the need to get into why. And yes, I am one of those women who doesn't believe my boyfriend when he tells me I'm beautiful. Or rather, I believe that he truly thinks that, but I disagree. And the fact that I've found someone now does not erase all of the years of loneliness and of jackasses, both male and female, feeding me bs lines of "oh you're beautiful but *I'm* not attracted to you!". Being in a relationship now doesn't reverse years of damage to my self esteem.

2. These people don't exist. Not really. Sure, a few do, but know where you're not going to find them? In any sort of community discussing a love of plus size women. Those are fat fetishists, they are gross, and no one should feel like they are who they have to date.

Well, then you're a biphobic bigot whose opinion doesn't matter to me. I'm not confused. I know I like women. I have had sex with women and liked it. I have fallen in love with women. I find women sexy. I also have had sex with men and liked it, fallen in love with men, and find men sexy. It's not that hard to understand, and honestly if you can't comprehend it I don't think you're very smart.



1
Now your your starting to sound like a very bitter person and there is no talking sense to this type of person...I've tried with this type many of times...I don't know if you noticed, but your responses are not equal to mines(its pointless rambling meshed with anger).
I am OK with you not wanting to date me...I have many to choose from. Please make actual points in you next response or I won't respond...just because you type something into your keyboard and click send doesn't mean that message made sense.

2
They do exist in real life. Probably not in your area or the places you've been, but they do exist. You just haven't experienced it, but I see it all the time where I am from. I have like three male family members who are like this.
3
Call me what you want...you are just proving my point, since your response shows that you didn't fully read or understand my response. Which is kinda what I expected with some one who speaks with emotion rather than well thought out concrete information. You can love who you want as long as I'm not included in it...knock your self out.
Posted 3/20/13
Because it upsets me that I'm NOT a cyborg... Someone somewhere better be working on that shit...
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Posted 3/20/13
self conscious insecure male jumping in.

I'm so insecure and self conscious to the point where its pretty much plain paranoia over my looks and how i perceive myself I have no idea how it happened or anything. I am going bald i found out before Xmas shaved about 2.5foot of hair off to find that depending where you stand it looks like i got a head full or not so head full of hair also i stand at about 5foot6 give or take so im pretty short. Do i try to change how i look? yeah i try but the insecurities remain, no matter how i look or wear to me i look and feel awful.

both genders are hard on themselves when it comes to appearances its not exclusive to women or men.
But there is a difference with taking pride in how you look and your body and being completely obsessive about it.

Modifying something is human nature and its not limited to the environment if you ask lots of people what they hate and what they like about themselves, nearly all the people you ask have an answer.

I don't think it is for survive or anyone's fault I think the need to change yourself is because we can. Actually if people complain about women wearing too much makeup or over dressing then you would never survive during the 16 century onwards.


Posted 3/20/13

feuerwerke wrote:

Yeah, and that is bad. But it rubs me the wrong way how guys will say things like this, but still if you are a woman that would commonly be considered unattractive, you're still going to be ignored, looked down on, mocked, et cetera. Often by guys who make these claims. Yes, it's sad when a beautiful woman thinks she's ugly because she isn't photoshopped celebrity beautiful, but it's more common for a girl who actually is pretty far from the common beauty standard to have her self esteem pummeled into the ground for it.

I really don't trust most men who make claims like yours. It's almost always only for the actual "pretty" girls.

Also not directly aimed at you, OP, but a note on makeup; it's not something that's only used to cover something about a woman's face that she's insecure about. It's not always to "fix" anything. Personally I use makeup regularly because I genuinely enjoy using it. Quite frankly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'd be prettier without makeup or whatever else. I enjoy it. And I'm not the only one.

THANK YOU!

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Posted 3/20/13

feuerwerke wrote:

Yeah, and that is bad. But it rubs me the wrong way how guys will say things like this, but still if you are a woman that would commonly be considered unattractive, you're still going to be ignored, looked down on, mocked, et cetera. Often by guys who make these claims. Yes, it's sad when a beautiful woman thinks she's ugly because she isn't photoshopped celebrity beautiful, but it's more common for a girl who actually is pretty far from the common beauty standard to have her self esteem pummeled into the ground for it.

I really don't trust most men who make claims like yours. It's almost always only for the actual "pretty" girls.

Also not directly aimed at you, OP, but a note on makeup; it's not something that's only used to cover something about a woman's face that she's insecure about. It's not always to "fix" anything. Personally I use makeup regularly because I genuinely enjoy using it. Quite frankly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'd be prettier without makeup or whatever else. I enjoy it. And I'm not the only one.


The only people that deliberately ignore, look down upon, and mock other people are the ones who are immature and are not yet ready to experience friendship. Please don't lose faith in men, because there are some out there who would actually like to be friends with everybody, including every single woman that exists, regardless of her beauty.
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