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WOMEN AND GIRLS why are you so hard on your self when it comes to the way you view your body?
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29 / M / Los Angeles, CA
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Posted 6/24/13
I think its just as hard for guys. I'm in the gym 5 days a week, cardio on my days off. I work really hard for how I look, and it really gives me a feeling of being above average. Go to Wal-Mart you know what I'm talking about.
Posted 6/24/13
Guys have this issue sometimes too. i used to be a little bit chubby, and extremely insecure about it.
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16 / F
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Posted 6/24/13
It's the same for everyone. Since birth we've been told what is 'perfect' and what is 'ugly'. For girls, 'perfect' is an all white smile, large boobs, flawless skin, thigh gaps, no hair on your body, hair has to be full, shiny, long, and flowing, and the clothes you wear must be the most stylish thing ever. For men, 'perfect' is an all white smile as well, some hair but not too much, large muscles, beautiful blue eyes, a deep but not too deep voice, and a large package. We've been forced to think that if you don't meet all of these criterias, then we won't meet a partner, we'll never get married, we'll never live a happy life, we'll never be able to follow our dreams, and we'll die alone and no one will care because you were just 'too ugly'.

Part of it does have to do with the media and how they portray characters. The popular girl always gets the hot guy, and the loser boy/girl ends up alone. The rich kids are always flawless while the poor kids have pimples and body hair in TV and movies. Companies push these thoughts even more by shoving all of these 'make you flawless' products with an air brushed and photo-shopped model (male and female) telling that the ugly girls and boys can be perfect too. Only if they buy the product, which is what the company wants. They want money, so they feed on the natural insecurity that everyone has.

But it's not all the media's fault as well. We can't all point fingers at someone else when it comes to something like this. This insecurity about how we all look at any given time stems from ourselves and our environment. When a girl turns down a guy who's flirting on her, he normally goes for the 'oh, well, I really didn't want to fuck you. I just thought you'd be an easy fuck. You fat bitch.' Now I know that it shouldn't get to a person, but it can. If someone thinks that they really are just an 'easy fuck', then they start to second guess themselves. A man will most likely always go for the girl with the larger rack and the firmer ass instead of the flat chested girl who is called an 'easy fuck'. And the same goes for women when they look at guys. I don't think I've ever heard a woman say, 'oh lord, that gut, I want to do nasty things to that beer belly.' I know I've never said that, and I'm pretty sure no one I know has ever said that either. A lady will always go for the man with the abs, or the skinny figure, or the bright blue eyes, or the curly hair, instead of the pimple faced geek who has a little more weight on him than he would like to have.

I can't list how many times I've second guessed myself about my looks and if anyone would ever like a geek like me who really doesn't have anything amazing to show the guys at first glance. I have small boobs and no ass, which is the exact opposite from the 'perfect' woman that's all been forced down our throats from birth. I know my friends have second guessed their looks because they're just like me. 'The easy fucks' to put it as simple as possible. I'm always told that I'm beautiful and that I should love the way I look because I'm god damn awesome, but when I look at these photo-shopped beauties, I always think to myself, 'It's be awesome to look like that.' or sometimes 'God she's so flawless, and I'm just a potato. And not even a good potato. A stupid potato.' And when people always ask women in general why they feel so insecure about their bodies, I want to say, 'haven't you?'

I know I've said a lot, and most of it is stuff you'll probably forget, but this is something everyone goes through at some time in their life. One time in your life, you've thought 'wouldn't it be nice to look like her.' or 'If only I had those six-pack abs, then I'll get all the ladies.' It's only natural to thin that, but to let it take over your life is something that we as a culture has done to ourselves. For many, no matter how many complements they are given, it won't be enough because they don't see themselves as that ' perfect' woman or man, and that's because they aren't photo-shopped like the ads are.

(sorry for the really long post. My two cents turned into fifty dollars or so)
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29 / M / Los Angeles, CA
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Posted 6/24/13

Lithium4 wrote:

It's the same for everyone. Since birth we've been told what is 'perfect' and what is 'ugly'. For girls, 'perfect' is an all white smile, large boobs, flawless skin, thigh gaps, no hair on your body, hair has to be full, shiny, long, and flowing, and the clothes you wear must be the most stylish thing ever. For men, 'perfect' is an all white smile as well, some hair but not too much, large muscles, beautiful blue eyes, a deep but not too deep voice, and a large package. We've been forced to think that if you don't meet all of these criterias, then we won't meet a partner, we'll never get married, we'll never live a happy life, we'll never be able to follow our dreams, and we'll die alone and no one will care because you were just 'too ugly'.

Part of it does have to do with the media and how they portray characters. The popular girl always gets the hot guy, and the loser boy/girl ends up alone. The rich kids are always flawless while the poor kids have pimples and body hair in TV and movies. Companies push these thoughts even more by shoving all of these 'make you flawless' products with an air brushed and photo-shopped model (male and female) telling that the ugly girls and boys can be perfect too. Only if they buy the product, which is what the company wants. They want money, so they feed on the natural insecurity that everyone has.

But it's not all the media's fault as well. We can't all point fingers at someone else when it comes to something like this. This insecurity about how we all look at any given time stems from ourselves and our environment. When a girl turns down a guy who's flirting on her, he normally goes for the 'oh, well, I really didn't want to fuck you. I just thought you'd be an easy fuck. You fat bitch.' Now I know that it shouldn't get to a person, but it can. If someone thinks that they really are just an 'easy fuck', then they start to second guess themselves. A man will most likely always go for the girl with the larger rack and the firmer ass instead of the flat chested girl who is called an 'easy fuck'. And the same goes for women when they look at guys. I don't think I've ever heard a woman say, 'oh lord, that gut, I want to do nasty things to that beer belly.' I know I've never said that, and I'm pretty sure no one I know has ever said that either. A lady will always go for the man with the abs, or the skinny figure, or the bright blue eyes, or the curly hair, instead of the pimple faced geek who has a little more weight on him than he would like to have.

I can't list how many times I've second guessed myself about my looks and if anyone would ever like a geek like me who really doesn't have anything amazing to show the guys at first glance. I have small boobs and no ass, which is the exact opposite from the 'perfect' woman that's all been forced down our throats from birth. I know my friends have second guessed their looks because they're just like me. 'The easy fucks' to put it as simple as possible. I'm always told that I'm beautiful and that I should love the way I look because I'm god damn awesome, but when I look at these photo-shopped beauties, I always think to myself, 'It's be awesome to look like that.' or sometimes 'God she's so flawless, and I'm just a potato. And not even a good potato. A stupid potato.' And when people always ask women in general why they feel so insecure about their bodies, I want to say, 'haven't you?'

I know I've said a lot, and most of it is stuff you'll probably forget, but this is something everyone goes through at some time in their life. One time in your life, you've thought 'wouldn't it be nice to look like her.' or 'If only I had those six-pack abs, then I'll get all the ladies.' It's only natural to thin that, but to let it take over your life is something that we as a culture has done to ourselves. For many, no matter how many complements they are given, it won't be enough because they don't see themselves as that ' perfect' woman or man, and that's because they aren't photo-shopped like the ads are.

(sorry for the really long post. My two cents turned into fifty dollars or so)


Sogno- 
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Posted 6/24/13
well somebody's gotta do the job otherwise you're gonna have all the women prancing around thinking they are too pretty to make an effort to look nice

and that will cause problems. Especially in the job market.
Posted 6/25/13 , edited 6/25/13

Lithium4 wrote:

It's the same for everyone. Since birth we've been told what is 'perfect' and what is 'ugly'. For girls, 'perfect' is an all white smile, large boobs, flawless skin, thigh gaps, no hair on your body, hair has to be full, shiny, long, and flowing, and the clothes you wear must be the most stylish thing ever. For men, 'perfect' is an all white smile as well, some hair but not too much, large muscles, beautiful blue eyes, a deep but not too deep voice, and a large package. We've been forced to think that if you don't meet all of these criterias, then we won't meet a partner, we'll never get married, we'll never live a happy life, we'll never be able to follow our dreams, and we'll die alone and no one will care because you were just 'too ugly'.

Part of it does have to do with the media and how they portray characters. The popular girl always gets the hot guy, and the loser boy/girl ends up alone. The rich kids are always flawless while the poor kids have pimples and body hair in TV and movies. Companies push these thoughts even more by shoving all of these 'make you flawless' products with an air brushed and photo-shopped model (male and female) telling that the ugly girls and boys can be perfect too. Only if they buy the product, which is what the company wants. They want money, so they feed on the natural insecurity that everyone has.

But it's not all the media's fault as well. We can't all point fingers at someone else when it comes to something like this. This insecurity about how we all look at any given time stems from ourselves and our environment. When a girl turns down a guy who's flirting on her, he normally goes for the 'oh, well, I really didn't want to fuck you. I just thought you'd be an easy fuck. You fat bitch.' Now I know that it shouldn't get to a person, but it can. If someone thinks that they really are just an 'easy fuck', then they start to second guess themselves. A man will most likely always go for the girl with the larger rack and the firmer ass instead of the flat chested girl who is called an 'easy fuck'. And the same goes for women when they look at guys. I don't think I've ever heard a woman say, 'oh lord, that gut, I want to do nasty things to that beer belly.' I know I've never said that, and I'm pretty sure no one I know has ever said that either. A lady will always go for the man with the abs, or the skinny figure, or the bright blue eyes, or the curly hair, instead of the pimple faced geek who has a little more weight on him than he would like to have.

I can't list how many times I've second guessed myself about my looks and if anyone would ever like a geek like me who really doesn't have anything amazing to show the guys at first glance. I have small boobs and no ass, which is the exact opposite from the 'perfect' woman that's all been forced down our throats from birth. I know my friends have second guessed their looks because they're just like me. 'The easy fucks' to put it as simple as possible. I'm always told that I'm beautiful and that I should love the way I look because I'm god damn awesome, but when I look at these photo-shopped beauties, I always think to myself, 'It's be awesome to look like that.' or sometimes 'God she's so flawless, and I'm just a potato. And not even a good potato. A stupid potato.' And when people always ask women in general why they feel so insecure about their bodies, I want to say, 'haven't you?'

I know I've said a lot, and most of it is stuff you'll probably forget, but this is something everyone goes through at some time in their life. One time in your life, you've thought 'wouldn't it be nice to look like her.' or 'If only I had those six-pack abs, then I'll get all the ladies.' It's only natural to thin that, but to let it take over your life is something that we as a culture has done to ourselves. For many, no matter how many complements they are given, it won't be enough because they don't see themselves as that ' perfect' woman or man, and that's because they aren't photo-shopped like the ads are.

(sorry for the really long post. My two cents turned into fifty dollars or so)


I am not perfect, yet I am perfect. I have had days of insecurity in my past.
I have personally moved on from that, but if I had someone like me telling me that I was more than I think that I am.....my new found confidence would have happened at a earlier time. Time that was wasted on the little things never matter later in life, because it never REALLY mattered to begin with. You might think of yourself as a easy **** because of your surroundings, classmates, the media, family and on and on.
But in reality...to the guys that you haven't met or more than likely don't see...who would be happy just to be able to call you their girlfriend-do you that way?? The women who are actually like that are giving it up left and right which is why they are called easy. I am just giving tools to those who might not have them and these tools can be used to better oneself if they are willing to work towards believing in themselves.
Posted 6/25/13 , edited 6/25/13

SadisticUnfortunateDeaths wrote:

Guys have this issue sometimes too. i used to be a little bit chubby, and extremely insecure about it.


Yes, you are right some guys go through this also....though it is a little different for us. It is still very possible.
Posted 6/25/13

Sogno- wrote:

well somebody's gotta do the job otherwise you're gonna have all the women prancing around thinking they are too pretty to make an effort to look nice

and that will cause problems. Especially in the job market.


Nothing is wrong with a man or woman working out, and fixing themselves up to look good...never said that.
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Posted 6/25/13 , edited 6/25/13
Because of people like you, now shut the fuck up and stop telling people how they should act so that they could be attractive to you; the problem begins once you start having the mindset that their insecurities/desires are all based on attracting you.
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23 / F
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Posted 6/25/13
It truly does have to do with the media and how society is.
As of today, it's truly a shame how women in general are being more pressured than they were before to become what society thinks is "beautiful". Even celebrities gets critisized and I think most of them are quite atteactive, with or without plastic surgery.

I kind of have to blame the "trend" (I suppose) of plastic/cosmetic surgery as well. I believe that's why that's why some celebrities/people in general even chooses to get botox, lipo, rhinoplasty, implants, etc. Some women with breast implants even stated how they have more "self-confidence" or a "higher self-esteem" in themselves.

I don't like how society is nowadays. It's influencing younger generations to become more shallow and stuck-up.
Posted 6/25/13

HellaStrider wrote:

Because of people like you, now shut the fuck up and stop telling people how they should act so that they could be attractive to you; the problem begins once you start having the mindset that their insecurities/desires are all based on attracting you.


Wow you have no idea what your talking about and I won't stoop to your level....if you had any understanding you would see that it has nothing to do with me, nor what I want.
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Posted 6/25/13

I just try my hardest to keep my doctors happy.

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Posted 6/25/13 , edited 6/25/13

Well with my story is bullying about my appearance and weight since childhood when I was in elementary through out high school
both boys and girls teased me just for the way I looked.
I'm a typical Hispanic girl in Texas so we're know to be the big side and early development not me
I'm very thin and small compared to most people it seems my size was a big reason people picked on me but, that wasn't t enough for others it was the way I looked and the way I dressed.

The way I looked well I hardly wore make up which in my generation seemed to be very important in school along with great hair
I had long uncontrollable wavy hair that I would wear in a low pony tail growing up and of course filling out.
I was a late bloomer while girls in fifth grade already developed so to most boys if I didn't have those qualities
like the other girls I wasn't even bothered a second glance.

Being my weight my development was proportion to my body but, of course to most people
that meant I was flat chested or "Having no ass".
Looks mean everything to people.
I remember a time in middle school in my homeroom class a group of guys went walking around rating each female in the class from prettiest to ugliest..
They told me I was a two..

Middle school I was bullied the most by guys and girls
Boys in my classes threw pencils, paper balls and gum at me
And I didn't know why

One boy would call me ugly, crackhead, flat-chested, anorexic
He was an overweight but, the fact that other boys join in and laughed made me start to think
Is there something wrong with the way I look?
Is that why I'm getting picked on?
Am I really that ugly?

Another time I recall is a girl named Amanda who I thought was my friend was signing everyone yearbooks
She would write as joke to her friends "Stay an ugly ass bitch just kidding."
But, with me all I read was when she signed mine was "Stay an ugly as bitch."

Around that time I started to view myself the way people looked at me for the longest time
I believe I was ugly and sickly skinny I wonder a lot
Why did god make me look like this

In middle school these girl scout organization would even come by to our school to and talk to female students about perseverance and self confidence in who you are.
They gave us a form to fill about how you view yourself
I wrote "Your so ugly! You look like a crackhead! Eat something anorexic!"
I cried because I knew that's how i really felt

I couldn't tell my parents
I felt they wouldn't understand
So I'll deal with it on my own

With the bullying progressing I felt so unattractive I knew I was alone
I felt no love from anybody so I thought
I don't need it love is for the weak minded

There started my own self destruction into freshmen year in high school
I started wearing black along with dark make up to cover up my pain
I also became more aggressive
That made things worse..
Two boys, brothers at that would throw things at me and call me names like
Their favorite insult was calling me "Bruja" translated to English means witch
Or hand me a broom saying "Here's your vehicle"

With people throwing their insults at me I would just smirk and say
"I already knew that."

So in short I was hard on myself because the way others threw their perspectives at me
It still hurts me till this very moment how cruel people can be
To some innocent


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Posted 6/25/13

marcel20 wrote:


This is a prime example of a bitter person. You should probably see a professional about your past, so that you can move on from it. It is not healthy to hold on to past teasing and or bullying in transition to adult-hood. Holding on to things like this is will be a block in your future pursuit in finding people who love you or making those who do love you feel off and want to leave do to your shield of bitterness(that was not their fault or their doing). Some people like myself took being teased and grew from it(became stronger and more confident) becoming stronger and NOT giving in to bitterness. You can tell a lot about a person not by what they say, but how it is said...keep that in mind plzz. also being bitter causes you to see only the bad in everything...its not what actually IS to you, but what you make it to be.


Oh my god... really? *facepalm* You aren't a woman, so why do you think you have the knowledge to lecture other women on body image? She gave a reasonable argument, and you respond by telling her that she needs help?
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Posted 6/25/13

NekoGirlSashira wrote:


Well with my story is bullying about my appearance and weight since childhood when I was in elementary through out high school
both boys and girls teased me just for the way I looked.
I'm a typical Hispanic girl in Texas so we're know to be the big side and early development not me
I'm very thin and small compared to most people it seems my size was a big reason people picked on me but, that wasn't t enough for others it was the way I looked and the way I dressed.

The way I looked well I hardly wore make up which in my generation seemed to be very important in school along with great hair
I had long uncontrollable wavy hair that I would wear in a low pony tail growing up and of course filling out.
I was a late bloomer while girls in fifth grade already developed so to most boys if I didn't have those qualities
like the other girls I wasn't even bothered a second glance.

Being my weight my development was proportion to my body but, of course to most people
that meant I was flat chested or "Having no ass".
Looks mean everything to people.
I remember a time in middle school in my homeroom class a group of guys went walking around rating each female in the class from prettiest to ugliest..
They told me I was a two..

Middle school I was bullied the most by guys and girls
Boys in my classes threw pencils, paper balls and gum at me
And I didn't know why

One boy would call me ugly, crackhead, flat-chested, anorexic
He was an overweight but, the fact that other boys join in and laughed made me start to think
Is there something wrong with the way I look?
Is that why I'm getting picked on?
Am I really that ugly?

Another time I recall is a girl named Amanda who I thought was my friend was signing everyone yearbooks
She would write as joke to her friends "Stay an ugly ass bitch just kidding."
But, with me all I read was when she signed mine was "Stay an ugly as bitch."

Around that time I started to view myself the way people looked at me for the longest time
I believe I was ugly and sickly skinny I wonder a lot
Why did god make me look like this

In middle school these girl scout organization would even come by to our school to and talk to female students about perseverance and self confidence in who you are.
They gave us a form to fill about how you view yourself
I wrote "Your so ugly! You look like a crackhead! Eat something anorexic!"
I cried because I knew that's how i really felt

I couldn't tell my parents
I felt they wouldn't understand
So I'll deal with it on my own

With the bullying progressing I felt so unattractive I knew I was alone
I felt no love from anybody so I thought
I don't need it love is for the weak minded

There started my own self destruction into freshmen year in high school
I started wearing black along with dark make up to cover up my pain
I also became more aggressive
That made things worse..
Two boys, brothers at that would throw things at me and call me names like
Their favorite insult was calling me "Bruja" translated to English means witch
Or hand me a broom saying "Here's your vehicle"

With people throwing their insults at me I would just smirk and say
"I already knew that."

So in short I was hard on myself because the way others threw their perspectives at me
It still hurts me till this very moment how cruel people can be
To some innocent




"I am fearfully and wonderfully made." - Psalm 139:14

It doesnt matter if you believe in God or not...but our design was not a mistake.
I have no idea what you look like and don't need to but I am absolutely positive there is something
magnificent about you. Never let anyone, even yourself, tell you otherwise.
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