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WOMEN AND GIRLS why are you so hard on your self when it comes to the way you view your body?
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23 / F / United States
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Posted 6/26/13



Kanade you have the power to fight against society and live the life you want. Believe it when I say that you have the power to make your own reality....society can keep creating boundaries for us, but it is up to us to listen to them or create our own path to walk in. The path I speak of is not easy nor full of people to lean on, but it IS possible.


This I already know and have been able to accept myself when it comes to how I look. Though, I'm still looking for the path that will lead me to my end goal. I did have a great start, but but took a few wrong turns and am now trying to figure out where to go from there. As a woman the path to my end goal will not be easy, but I have never once thought about changing my end goal to take the easy path there. Part of my reasoning is because of my family's financial and the other part is my mom. If she hadn't gotten a computer when I was little, I probably wouldn't be pursuing my current end goal right now. The other part is I want to be able to live a much more fulfilling lifestyle than the one I had growing up. I also consider myself very lucky with the schools I went to as a child, as my peers viewed everyone as equal. This made it more accepting for me to begin the path to my end goal.
Posted 6/27/13

Kanade_Yagami wrote:




Kanade you have the power to fight against society and live the life you want. Believe it when I say that you have the power to make your own reality....society can keep creating boundaries for us, but it is up to us to listen to them or create our own path to walk in. The path I speak of is not easy nor full of people to lean on, but it IS possible.


This I already know and have been able to accept myself when it comes to how I look. Though, I'm still looking for the path that will lead me to my end goal. I did have a great start, but but took a few wrong turns and am now trying to figure out where to go from there. As a woman the path to my end goal will not be easy, but I have never once thought about changing my end goal to take the easy path there. Part of my reasoning is because of my family's financial and the other part is my mom. If she hadn't gotten a computer when I was little, I probably wouldn't be pursuing my current end goal right now. The other part is I want to be able to live a much more fulfilling lifestyle than the one I had growing up. I also consider myself very lucky with the schools I went to as a child, as my peers viewed everyone as equal. This made it more accepting for me to begin the path to my end goal.


Goals are very important to have when going through life for anyone...I am happy to hear it
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28 / M
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Posted 6/27/13
95% of all people, male or female, are hard on themselves for their physical appearance. It's pretty much human nature to be discontent.
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CALI!
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Posted 6/27/13

MikiSayaka wrote:


^This pic.
That is all.


HAHA AINT THAT THE TRUTH
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F / Earth
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Posted 6/27/13
We all are? Hmm, I didn't know that..
Now that I think about it, God, my ankles are like, so ankley. Like, Jesus!
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Posted 6/27/13

MikiSayaka wrote:


^This pic.
That is all.


omg this pic is so funny!!!! ROLF
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13 / F / New Jersey
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Posted 6/27/13
im a girl and im not hard on myself
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20 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 6/27/13

marcel20 wrote:


NekoGirlSashira wrote:


marcel20 wrote:


NekoGirlSashira wrote:


Well with my story is bullying about my appearance and weight since childhood when I was in elementary through out high school
both boys and girls teased me just for the way I looked.
I'm a typical Hispanic girl in Texas so we're know to be the big side and early development not me
I'm very thin and small compared to most people it seems my size was a big reason people picked on me but, that wasn't t enough for others it was the way I looked and the way I dressed.

The way I looked well I hardly wore make up which in my generation seemed to be very important in school along with great hair
I had long uncontrollable wavy hair that I would wear in a low pony tail growing up and of course filling out.
I was a late bloomer while girls in fifth grade already developed so to most boys if I didn't have those qualities
like the other girls I wasn't even bothered a second glance.

Being my weight my development was proportion to my body but, of course to most people
that meant I was flat chested or "Having no ass".
Looks mean everything to people.
I remember a time in middle school in my homeroom class a group of guys went walking around rating each female in the class from prettiest to ugliest..
They told me I was a two..

Middle school I was bullied the most by guys and girls
Boys in my classes threw pencils, paper balls and gum at me
And I didn't know why

One boy would call me ugly, crackhead, flat-chested, anorexic
He was an overweight but, the fact that other boys join in and laughed made me start to think
Is there something wrong with the way I look?
Is that why I'm getting picked on?
Am I really that ugly?

Another time I recall is a girl named Amanda who I thought was my friend was signing everyone yearbooks
She would write as joke to her friends "Stay an ugly ass bitch just kidding."
But, with me all I read was when she signed mine was "Stay an ugly as bitch."

Around that time I started to view myself the way people looked at me for the longest time
I believe I was ugly and sickly skinny I wonder a lot
Why did god make me look like this

In middle school these girl scout organization would even come by to our school to and talk to female students about perseverance and self confidence in who you are.
They gave us a form to fill about how you view yourself
I wrote "Your so ugly! You look like a crackhead! Eat something anorexic!"
I cried because I knew that's how i really felt

I couldn't tell my parents
I felt they wouldn't understand
So I'll deal with it on my own

With the bullying progressing I felt so unattractive I knew I was alone
I felt no love from anybody so I thought
I don't need it love is for the weak minded

There started my own self destruction into freshmen year in high school
I started wearing black along with dark make up to cover up my pain
I also became more aggressive
That made things worse..
Two boys, brothers at that would throw things at me and call me names like
Their favorite insult was calling me "Bruja" translated to English means witch
Or hand me a broom saying "Here's your vehicle"

With people throwing their insults at me I would just smirk and say
"I already knew that."

So in short I was hard on myself because the way others threw their perspectives at me
It still hurts me till this very moment how cruel people can be
To some innocent




Wow...thank you for your post. I believe that you are a strong person, because you went through all of this and didn't give up.
I have nothing but respect for you and others like you. I was teased quite a bit too for being different in a way, but not to that extent.
The only reason why they would physically hurt me was because I was bigger or stronger than the bullies at my school's.
And on more than one occasion had to confront a few of them...I didn't beat them up, but let them know that I wasn't going to take their mess.
My situation was different than yours because I was a big guy who was interverted-NOT shy but just quiet and kept to myself, but due to the "if you look tough-we will see how tough you are" macho teen male ego's that plague elementry-high school.( I had to sometimes have them understand the flaw in their thinking process). Hmm I think only one girl slapped me back than, but come find out she really really like me.
Thanks for sharing your story for it made me remember a little about my past.


No problem took a lot of courage just to put my past out there for you guys to read ^^



Edit: the reason they *wouldn't* hurt me not would. wow I hate using my phones browser... it makes extra typos all the time


I'm worse I use my Nintendo 3DS to get online when my phone not working >>;

Posted 6/27/13
My body is perfect to me.
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Posted 8/3/13
First of all, this thread is just perfect. And all the replies I've been reading regarding this thread and its topic were all so true in a way or another. I don't really know what to say other than I honestly don't blame the media. I've been hearing and reading many people whine and blame the media, which might be true in a way, but I don't think it's the media's fault. I mean, girls(and some guys) would have to take care of their body and skin because we have to. Like if they're models or body builders then well, their body is their career, so I get that part. But what I'm trying to say is to those girls who don't depend on their body for their income. Those girls are most likely insecure. And I think that's normal. I mean sure, there's those rare guys who would care less if a girl isn't pretty or isn't skinny or whatever, but I honestly don't think all guys are like that nowadays. And honestly, I'm one of those girls. I have my own insecurities, I bet everyone does. So I think the reason why girls would go crazy with their appearance if not for work is because society nowadays look for perfection. While in truth we should see our imperfections as our perfections. And well, maybe the media did do something to make this the way it is now. But again, it's not only the media's fault but those people who actually agrees with the media are also at fault. I wish one day everyone can just accept one another as they are.

I think I might be off topic. Oh well. Sorry about that.

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20 / F / Wherever the wind...
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Posted 8/3/13
Because we are all programmed to want to be the very best that no one ever was.
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22 / M / Florida
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Posted 8/3/13 , edited 8/3/13
Is it weird that I've never known a girl who acted this way? lol

I do know, however, that this can apply to guys too. It's not just the media, but also real life in our local environment that can shape the way we think. There are guys who think that they have to look a certain way or act a certain way to get the girls' attention, because that's what they see consistently working for other guys. Parents can also put on a lot of pressure when they think they're the ones in charge of how their child has to look.


KatSerEst wrote:

Because we are all programmed to want to be the very best that no one ever was.


To look good is our real test, to date them is our cause.
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25 / M / TX
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Posted 8/3/13 , edited 8/3/13
• The average American woman is 5’4” tall and weighs 164 pounds. The average American model is 5’11” tall and weighs 117 pounds.

• The average size of the “ideal” woman, as portrayed by models, has become progressively thinner over the years and has stabilized at around 20% below the average weight. This thin ideal is unachievable for most women.

• A 1995 study found that three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and ashamed. It's very likely only gotten worse.

• It is estimated that 40-50% of American women are trying to lose weight at any point in time.

Almost one out of every four college aged woman has an eating disorder. 1/3 of women suffered from extreme dieting or an eating disorder in their lifetime.

Almost half of all women smokers acknowledge smoking as one of the best ways to control their weight. Of these women, 25% will die of a disease caused by smoking.

• At age thirteen, 53% of American girls are “unhappy with their bodies.” This grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen.

• In a sample of male and female high school students, girls had higher body dissatisfaction scores than boys on all measures. Girls reported magazines as their primary source of information regarding diet and health. Boys reported their parents as their primary source of information.

• A majority of girls in a 1999 study (59 %) reported dissatisfaction with their body shape, and 66 a expressed a desire to lose weight. Only 29 percent of the girls were overweight. You can only imagine how this has changed.

• At 5’9” tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 which is considered severely underweight. Because of her ridiculous proportions (39” bust, 18” waist, 33” thighs and a size 3 shoes), if she was a real woman, she wouldn’t be able to walk upright – she would have to walk on all fours. Note that the target market for Barbie Doll sales are girls ages 3 to 12.

• Nearly 11.7 million cosmetic surgical and nonsurgical procedures were performed in the United States in 2007. Women had nearly 10.6 million cosmetic procedures, 91% percent of the total.


And yet, there's so much more to this. It's more than just a reflection of media. It's a reflection of society as a whole and the views that it has of women: what a woman should wear, how a woman should dress, how a woman should look, how a woman should act -- all because women are packaged up as though they're merely products to be sold to men. And it's seen time and time again. The objectification of women is extremely severe. You can attempt to argue that men have body image issues and are objectified too, but you'd be missing the entire point. The view of a man is nearly always in a manner so that other men or boys watching can view themselves in that place. Know of the term male gaze? It's very real and very detrimental to women.

Another example of this blatant inequality is a room full of half men and half women. If women speak 50% of the time, they're seen as dominating the conversation. The SAT still has gender bias in the test. Do you know how horrible that is? When women were doing as well as and/or outperforming men, the test was changed because it was seen 'unbalanced', but when men are doing better than women it's seen as 'equal'. Do you see the problem? Because it's astoundingly huge. It's a very similar problem to how when a woman raises an issue it's put off as an unnecessary emotional or that they're overracting -- even if they're being completely logical about it; but when a man raises an issue, suddenly the whole world is cooing and fawning and wondering what's wrong.

Your statement of "Ladies no matter how you think you look a guy will find something sexy about you and THAT'S IS ALL THAT WE NEED to be attracted to you." is still going on the assumption that women are for men's enjoyment and entertainment and that should be their main purpose. That if YOU are attracted to them that makes things okay and that fixes the problem. The reality is that it doesn't. It should not be a conversation of what you want or what you will accept. It should be a conversation of allowing women to make their own decisions and feel good about themselves without feeling as though it's souly to impress someone else. Women should feel good about themselves for themselves. Men enjoying their choices, whatever they are, should be a perk but should not be what everything is hinged on.

Are we there yet? No. But we can work to that point.
It's why feminism is important.

I know a lot of people seem to view feminism as a bad thing, that women want to be better than men, but that's not the point of it. The very definition of feminism is The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

And there's were a lot of people are running into issues, because our society has structured the inequality of women as "equal" and when things are truly equal it's viewed as unequal. See the problem.

Sorry for the long post.
.___.
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35 / New York
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Posted 8/3/13
They're hard on themselves because they're shallow, and they think we're just as shallow.

And generally speaking, we are.

Plus, the guys they're after are really attractive and as it is with people who have a lot of options, they can afford to be picky.
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17 / F / USA
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Posted 8/3/13 , edited 8/3/13

so-called fat toes



Is this actually a thing women worry about
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