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WOMEN AND GIRLS why are you so hard on your self when it comes to the way you view your body?
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21 / F / somewhere in New...
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Posted 9/8/13
I am not one of those women who is like that. To be quite honest, I have a nice figure (I was told that not too long ago) and also, most likely, I would prefer to show the person I really am like with my appearance. I don't worry about my body at all since I have other things to worry about instead. I like my body the way it is and I would NEVER change it at all.
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20 / F / Wanderer in Texas
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Posted 9/8/13 , edited 9/8/13
As everyone else's responses, mainly because the media and society has just adapted to that. I mean, I'm not extremely hard on myself. I wish I was thinner on my thighs and belly. I know I'm not overweight, I'm pretty average weight if you ask me. Others have told me the same, just in the back of my mind I know I could have a better body. I also say because to impress the opposite sex and be completely happy with myself. Although, don't get me wrong; many people have different likes which is totally a good thing. I'm glad not all men like skinny anorexic big busty women. It makes most of us really happy with ourselves. I mean, my boyfriend says I look great to him. I am slowly accepting that, but as I said in the back of my mind I'm like oh gosh I could be better.
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24 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 9/8/13
Its tough out there for us women. Luckily, some of us are able to accept and love their body. Other women have a tough time trying to do so. The harshness of reality just likes to smack you in the face. Nowadays people's idealism in how a woman should look bring about so many problems. The media does make matters more difficult as time progresses. Life was never fully easy.
Posted 9/8/13
~ o,..,o ~ Because males require visual stimulus wanting the attractive barbie doll types making us have to worry from a very young age about our looks. That is why we try so hard with clothes and makeup and whatever else. Us females are stimulated by the inner being of a man so they don't worry about their looks so much. They know that about us females already.
Posted 9/9/13

Autumnvamp wrote:

~ o,..,o ~ Because males require visual stimulus wanting the attractive barbie doll types making us have to worry from a very young age about our looks. That is why we try so hard with clothes and makeup and whatever else. Us females are stimulated by the inner being of a man so they don't worry about their looks so much. They know that about us females already.


That's true that men are very visual, but were not exactly looking for barbie dolls. Men like women for what's inside too...not just the outer appearance and also women are almost just as visual as us guy's (women enjoy looking at, touching, and dating attractive guys)I have experience in being the guy women look at, so I know a lot about it.
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20 / M / Virginia
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Posted 9/9/13
Simple answer: blame society.
Posted 9/9/13


I am not saying there aren't exceptions to this, but the majority are that way. And humans in general are going to admire a beautiful body, but admiring and wanting are 2 different things. And i have almost 55 years experience watching humans and experiencing this myself as well. I don't mind dating attractive guys, but keeping them is another thing if they don't have the right kind of soul to keep me interested. I am sure you are a pretty boy that most girls fall for, but is that enough in a lasting relationship? But if there is more to you than looks then of course the girl that has you has lucked out, hasn't she? I repeat, there are exceptions. Here on CR i see a lot of girls fighting over these ugly fat guys. Have you ever wondered why that is? The guys here on the other hand want to see pics and are looking for the most attractive. That is why us girls always worry about our looks. Because being beautiful inside just might not be enough for most guys, not the exceptions of course.

Posted 9/9/13

Autumnvamp wrote:



I am not saying there aren't exceptions to this, but the majority are that way. And humans in general are going to admire a beautiful body, but admiring and wanting are 2 different things. And i have almost 55 years experience watching humans and experiencing this myself as well. I don't mind dating attractive guys, but keeping them is another thing if they don't have the right kind of soul to keep me interested. I am sure you are a pretty boy that most girls fall for, but is that enough in a lasting relationship? But if there is more to you than looks then of course the girl that has you has lucked out, hasn't she? I repeat, there are exceptions. Here on CR i see a lot of girls fighting over these ugly fat guys. Have you ever wondered why that is? The guys here on the other hand want to see pics and are looking for the most attractive. That is why us girls always worry about our looks. Because being beautiful inside just might not be enough for most guys, not the exceptions of course.



You make good points, but looks are the first thing we see and it is important that a guy or girl at least put their best foot forward when it comes to dating(shave , put on make up, shower, hair cut and more). As of late there has been a new trend of women just being honest about wanting to just hook up with a hot guy...there is a vast increase in women being more forthcoming about the subject. Also most guys won't put up with a pretty girl without substance either, over time there won't be a relationship.With guys we can find something attractive about a woman like her eyes, smile, geekiness, quirks and also her intellect. I'm not the pretty boy type more of a handsome man(yea i know splitting hairs). You are right in that women bare the need to be attractive more than men do, I honestly believe that the standards men might put on women is muy much less than the pressure the media and magazines do.
Posted 9/9/13


Yes i would agree with that, and if there is an increase it probably comes with women having more rights and not having to rely on the man to support themselves anymore like in the past. So women can assert themselves more and speak their mind and dare to go after what they would prefer rather than settling for. I do think that media is responsible for young girls starving themselves to be thin, trying to look like what they see advertised. Which is so sad. Most guys that i have spoken to, have told me they prefer a women with more meat on her bones and not a skeleton.
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Posted 9/9/13

marcel20 wrote:

As a guy I see women on tv shows, in real life and even on crunchyroll forum post saying how their too tall or short, or hate their legs, thighs, feet, hips and the list goes on and on down to every last deatailed part of their body's. I was dating a girl who was a model, nothing wrong with her at all from where I was looking, but she told me that she is ashamed of her toes and I asked why and she replied "their too fat" and no matter what I said she still thought that her toes were fat and they realy realy weren't .

Ladies no matter how you think you look a guy will find something sexy about you and THATS IS ALL THAT WE NEED to be attracted to you....I know media and magizines hold you to unfair standards of Beauty, but if guys were held to such a thing the magizine company's and media wouldn't make any money due to the fact that we don't realy give a damn what they think so why can't it be that way for you?,even if we tell you your beautiful?? I am in no way trying to beat you down, but I just want you to know that every one of you are beautiful in some way to some guy....and that he will be happy with just you and all of you even your so-called fat toes so believe in YOUR own beauty and back it up with confidence :)



well... I am unconfortable with my body. Like honestly, I only wear long sleeves and long jeans. Never shorts or tank tops. Do you know why? Because I used to get harassed and made fun of my guys are my old school. They would make me go home and cry after school. I am now in the environment where guys understand what I am going through and back off. But when your gf is a model and she says she "is ashamed of herself" then bs. >.> she is a model ! Think of the girls who aren't, think of the girls who actually HAVE a problem with their appearance. And how am I suppossed to be confident when I go out side, and people just stare at me like that? How do I believe in my self when the only people who tell me I am beautiful are girls? Women put ourselves down, because we know others would do that for us, if we don't do it ourselves...
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33 / F / Maryland
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Posted 9/9/13
Then I must be living in crazy world to think that I am pretty enough for some one. I've dealt with a lot of hardships in my life and I admit that I rarely take care of myself. I've been with guys who seriously have stated I was ugly and fat, even seeing me naked was a turn off for them. I have been left for girls skinnier than me and wear make up.

You see I put myself last. For 7 years I raised my disabled child, everything was for him. (He passed 2 yrs ago). I rarely went out to date because he required everything of me. Then when he passed, I realized I needed to make myself independent, started working then became stupid and put myself into debt. So now I am trying to put myself out of debt, working 2 - 3 jobs to pay them off. Hardly time to date but I have went out and met out people and get the same comments, "I rather just be friends, or we'll get to know one another". Since then I gave up on dating.

When I was in relationship I go with the flow, watch any movie, eat anyplace of enjoyable food. I don't order healthy foods like I should but I order food that is yummy like steak or ribs or burgers, something similar to the guy. I'm very laid back, I don't need to be out spending money to go places, nor do I ask for things.

If my looks aren't a turn off, then what is?

I am content with myself, though I think I could do better with my looks but why disguise myself with make up and be someone I am not?
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45 / Chico
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Posted 9/9/13
this is one of those questions that makes me batty ... i have super high standards for myself and when i can't visually meet those standards i am angry with myself ... i have a degree in womans studies and issues ... and you would think it would make it easier to be free but it doesn't ... however, i must say that the standards that are within our respected societies are hard for both the female body and the male body ... and i say kudos to anyone who can rise above the crowd and yell ... i love myself and my body! kudos!!
Posted 9/10/13

avaxusui wrote:


marcel20 wrote:

As a guy I see women on tv shows, in real life and even on crunchyroll forum post saying how their too tall or short, or hate their legs, thighs, feet, hips and the list goes on and on down to every last deatailed part of their body's. I was dating a girl who was a model, nothing wrong with her at all from where I was looking, but she told me that she is ashamed of her toes and I asked why and she replied "their too fat" and no matter what I said she still thought that her toes were fat and they realy realy weren't .

Ladies no matter how you think you look a guy will find something sexy about you and THATS IS ALL THAT WE NEED to be attracted to you....I know media and magizines hold you to unfair standards of Beauty, but if guys were held to such a thing the magizine company's and media wouldn't make any money due to the fact that we don't realy give a damn what they think so why can't it be that way for you?,even if we tell you your beautiful?? I am in no way trying to beat you down, but I just want you to know that every one of you are beautiful in some way to some guy....and that he will be happy with just you and all of you even your so-called fat toes so believe in YOUR own beauty and back it up with confidence :)



well... I am unconfortable with my body. Like honestly, I only wear long sleeves and long jeans. Never shorts or tank tops. Do you know why? Because I used to get harassed and made fun of my guys are my old school. They would make me go home and cry after school. I am now in the environment where guys understand what I am going through and back off. But when your gf is a model and she says she "is ashamed of herself" then bs. >.> she is a model ! Think of the girls who aren't, think of the girls who actually HAVE a problem with their appearance. And how am I suppossed to be confident when I go out side, and people just stare at me like that? How do I believe in my self when the only people who tell me I am beautiful are girls? Women put ourselves down, because we know others would do that for us, if we don't do it ourselves...


The girl in my story really was ashamed of her toes. Confidence as a whole takes time to learn, but it starts with being OK with who you are...if there is something you really wanna change then do it(my thing was my weight and I worked hard and changed it). There is also lots of resources online and in real life that will help you on the subject. There are groups you can join be it for depression, confidence issues and more, if you don't want to talk in person there are online forums that dive deep into the subject and can give you more insight into the issue. Another thing is to stay in a healthy environment...good friends and family could help with this and I see you removed yourself from that specific situation which was a good move. I don't have all the answers but maybe one of my suggestions can help.
Posted 9/10/13


Ookamitenshi wrote:

Then I must be living in crazy world to think that I am pretty enough for some one. I've dealt with a lot of hardships in my life and I admit that I rarely take care of myself. I've been with guys who seriously have stated I was ugly and fat, even seeing me naked was a turn off for them. I have been left for girls skinnier than me and wear make up.

You see I put myself last. For 7 years I raised my disabled child, everything was for him. (He passed 2 yrs ago). I rarely went out to date because he required everything of me. Then when he passed, I realized I needed to make myself independent, started working then became stupid and put myself into debt. So now I am trying to put myself out of debt, working 2 - 3 jobs to pay them off. Hardly time to date but I have went out and met out people and get the same comments, "I rather just be friends, or we'll get to know one another". Since then I gave up on dating.

When I was in relationship I go with the flow, watch any movie, eat anyplace of enjoyable food. I don't order healthy foods like I should but I order food that is yummy like steak or ribs or burgers, something similar to the guy. I'm very laid back, I don't need to be out spending money to go places, nor do I ask for things.

If my looks aren't a turn off, then what is?

I am content with myself, though I think I could do better with my looks but why disguise myself with make up and be someone I am not?



I think some make-up isn't a bad thing...it enhances certain features which is good .
Though too much to the point you look like a totally different human being when you
take it iff is another thing and this is just my opinion on the matter
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19 / M
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Posted 9/10/13
nobody cares about inner beauty. people keep spewing this idealistic ideology that "if your beautiful on the inside then youll find somebody". But thats not true. In reality your looks matter much more than what you are on the inside. so just accept the fact that your ugly and that you dont have a "true soulmate". Im an ugly guy and ive come to terms with it you all should too
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