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Two-Faced People
Posted 10/15/12
I have a lot more then two faces. Am I the winner?
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31 / M / US
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Posted 11/27/12
Fish swim in groups in order to make each individual less of a target. When a shark or a whale comes by there are "acceptable losses." In my mind, those who seek the crowd are weaklings hoping to go without being devoured.

The truly strong do not seek to be part of the crowd, nor do they seek to stand out. The emo kid with green hair and eyebrow piercings isn't deep or strong in any sense, and neither are the fair-weather friends who cling to others just to be near others. The truly strong just act themselves.

That you're concerned about this shows me that you are a fish. It is within your power to be otherwise -- simply disregard them. Be civil, but know that they are not friends. In real life when you're working and moving and living your life, you will meet many many people and they can't all be friends or enemies.
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22 / M / West-Central Florida
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Posted 11/27/12
I hate people who do that, I wish that people who don't want you around would just tell you to leave.

But if they keep quiet, such as in your situation, I would ask them first. If they were to say something along the lines of "Oh no no, that's not it at all!" Then I'd stick around, but if they said something going in the other direction, then I would just tell them that it's alright, and I'd leave.
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20 / M / Norway, Oslo
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Posted 11/27/12
Well most likely it doesnt mean its something wrong with you. Some people fit together, some dont. I would probably just keep the relationship at a co-worker level, say hi when its needed and work with them when tasked to. You cant befriend everyone
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 11/27/12

kitsuneshoujo wrote:

Here's a situation:

Say you're at work, or your in college/high school and you have these folk you consider slightly more than acquaintances, but less than actual friends (and yes, not everyone you consider a friend, is actually a friend).

Now say these people treat you ok, they generally aren't mean to you, you don't hear of any nasty rumours they spread about you, and generally tolerate your presence.

And now add into the mix the little hints and signals they drop repeatedly that they really don't want you around and really wish you would stop coming around at all. Such as ignoring you or not acknowledging you when you talk to them, or if you sneeze and they don't say bless you - though they will to everyone else.

What would you do, and how would you handle this?

Would you just ignore it and tell yourself you don't care and hope that eventually you really will not care at some point? You would cause a huge scene and confront them about it? Or..?

Remember, you're not exactly treated like social pariah, but their actions and body language say that you are.


This was posted two months ago so I'm not sure if my answer will be of any use.


If I felt this way (which I have on several occasions), I usually just walk away and become a loner.

I don't like that feeling of not fitting in. Some people are very welcoming and are friendly... those are the people i want to be around with... and they do exist.
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26 / F / irst
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Posted 11/27/12
Two-faced? Probably not.

I like to change up my circles a lot. But sometimes people start harassing me, and want to move from "acquaintance" to "friend." When they start to do, that, I start to back off from them. I try not to be rude. But I don't want them to chase me any more.

So if you feel like they're giving you hints to back away, let them be, and switch over to people who might want to form longer-term relationships.
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26 / M
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Posted 11/27/12
FUCK EM!!!

Honestly, I can't speak for anyone else. I think that if people don't really give a shit about me they should just stay away. I don't like being tolerated, so if a certain group of people I hang out with seem to be "putting up" with me I just stop hanging out with them. If they call out my name, I respond, for the sake of being polite, otherwise, I just ignore them.

In light of what I mentioned earlier. I probably don't have as many friends as I would have if I were a suck-up (believe it or not I know how that feels), but the people I do consider as "friends" respect me and while hanging out with them I never feel out of place, no matter how quiet or loud I am.

If you want people to take you more seriously: stand up straight but relaxed, don't smile unless you wish to express joy, look people in the eye when communicating with them, always be polite unless the situation can no longer be resolved by being so, and last but not the least, know your masks (it might take some work to figure this out but I think you could learn from this).
Posted 11/27/12
That's what happened to me last year and that why I left the job (even though there were more reasons other than that). One day I just didn't go to work anymore without saying a thing and as expected didn't hear a call from anyone.
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22 / F / lala land
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Posted 11/27/12
stick my ear phones in and be in my own little world, head banging away
Sailor Candy Moderator
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Posted 5/2/13
Spring forum cleaning! Since it's a new month I'm closing all the old threads in room for the new ones. We close old threads from 6 months past with no activity. Please recreate if you wish to do so!
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