What person would try that?

this is by far the st FML story but its long but trust me. ts the most ''ahh shit'' story you will ever hear and i will be using a lot of memes to show how my face looked through it.

I was going through a room with all my drum equipment in it and i found a leather bag with small locks on it.

Me ,being the snoopy kid i was at age 13, cut the zippers that the locks were holding and looked inside.
found a bunch of pants so i moved them only to discover a whole bunch of "adult toys" that were apparently my parents.

I got really nervous and started throwing the stuff back in and i accidently dropped the bag. It broke the zipper which i had just barely cut so it would look like it was never messed with and by this point I was borderline bout to shit my pants. I put it all back and ran away. After A couple hours of thinking I knew there was only one way out of this. I had to tell the truth.
I went up to my dad, looked him in the eyes, bowed up my chest and said. ''dad, im very sorry but i went to find a drum pedal in the music room and i found your leather bag. I clipped the zipper with pliers, undid the lock and saw all the stuff inside. I got nothin against it, your both married so its perfectly legit. please forgive me"
my dad looked at me and started laughing really hard. I said why you laughing. He said that stuff aint ours. I bought her some longerie and it said it would come with surprises. when it came, I got furious with the company cause they billed me for it and if they didnt take it back id sue. didnt you notice they were in sealed boxes. I just stood there with a WTF face.
He still got pissed as hell cause i broke the zipper on a 2 hundred dollar leather bag.
I swore from that day on i would never snoop again and i havent.
found my cousin snoopin through stuff and i just about falcon slapped him. I said you dont know what your getting yourself into man, walk away.

Walked out of the shop the otter day, only to realise halfway home that I'd forgotten to take my change from the cashier...... and that I'd thrown the reciept away already. £1.39 down the fucking drain.
FML.

My entire life. .___.

Today I had 2 FML moments -.-
1. I was walking down the hall during 4th period because I get back on campus around the end of 4th from my college courses, and the bell rings and the door of as classroom flies open and knocks me out T.T

2. I somehow managed to close my locker on my scarf and i couldnt see my lock so i couldnt undo it, and the bell rang so everyones in class. So i decided to call as many friends as I could to come save me wich ended in a fail. 5 minutes later my british literature teacher asks me whats wrong and I had to ask him to undo my lock T.T

I was trying out some "sexy" underwear for our school play which I'm in and was modelling it for everyone in the staff room. (I'm a staff assistant first period, so my drama teacher told me I should try it on and see.)



Then, surprise surprise, my crush happens to walk in to deliver his transcripts and manages to get a full on glimpse of how glorious and sexyful I look in long johns. Awwwww yeahhh.

Everything. No, really.

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