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Divorce if partner leaves your religion? Mainly for women
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Posted 10/3/12
I ended up divorced when my ex switched to Jehovah's Witness and I wouldn't. They have some different views on how it works but she basically picked it over me since they're not allowed to be married to someone outside of the cult. My kid did choose me over her since she couldn't celebrate holidays and birthdays though so I guess it wasn't completely horrible
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M / Bay area California
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Posted 10/4/12

IronMako wrote:

I ended up divorced when my ex switched to Jehovah's Witness and I wouldn't. They have some different views on how it works but she basically picked it over me since they're not allowed to be married to someone outside of the cult. My kid did choose me over her since she couldn't celebrate holidays and birthdays though so I guess it wasn't completely horrible


that's kind of sad for your kid and your wife, being a Jehovah's witness. Everyone should at least try to understand other religion if their married. EVEN if their dating. I would try to understand the religion and If I know i'm not 100% sure of it I wont go for it but keep a open mind for my gf/wife
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24 / That place
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Posted 10/4/12
I wouldn't marry a very religious person in the first place. I don't mind a person being religious whatever their religion may be but being atheist myself, and being raised in an atheist family and adding to that fact born in a country where being religious is rare in comparison I'd find it hard to relinquish my personal beliefs if they were to collide with my partners religion if said person is very adamant in the practice of their religion.

It would put a serious strain on me as a person to live by a set of beliefs that aren't my own just for the sake of a smooth relationship. And if kids ever came into the picture I think it'd be hard to convince such a person to let them choose for themselves. Because if someone is deeply religious I think they would feel as if they were neglecting their children by not introducing them to that religion.

And I would probably be disappointed if my children were to decide for themselves that they believed in a religion I wasn't part of. It'd probably result in me feeling like an alien in my own home. And however much you love your family that will lead to a miserable situation. Being singled out in you own family as a non-believer no matter what your personal and moral beliefs are, and that they're worth just as much as any religion despite not having any thousands and thousands years worth of documents to back them up.

The hurt of having your life's philosophy trampled isn't just a religious privilege.

If my partner belongs to another religion in name only it'd be much less of a troublesome matter. But then there may still be the issue of clashing tradition. I for example am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to give up Santa, the Christmas tree or the Christmas ham for anything. Because I have a lot of precious memories from when I was a child tied to those traditions and I'd like my children to have such memories of Christmas.

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23 / Canada
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Posted 10/4/12
no because leaving someone for religion would be dumb...would you leave your partner if she/he believed in santa?
Would you be ready to leave someone for stopping believing in something taht doesnt exist?
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22 / M / Toronto, Canada
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Posted 10/4/12
Good question. Im an aethist so... yea
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28 / Right behind you.
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Posted 10/4/12
I am not a religious person, however, i would never be with someone who would demand i join their religion to begin with. I dont care what religion my spouse is, however, something that would be incredibly clear from the beginning is I will never join that religion, i might participate very occasionally in whatever service she participates, just so she go alone, but I will never be a part of the religion.

In essence i would not divorce someone because of their religious views, but i would divorce someone for not respecting mine.
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20 / Dreamscape
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Posted 10/4/12
If I would divorce someone over religion then I probably shouldn't have married them anyway. But in the end is religion really that important.
Posted 10/4/12
i will live with the person i love but i will never marry them
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M / i'm there. you kn...
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Posted 10/4/12
that would be absolutely ridiculous. love before religion, ALWAYS. if you think otherwise you are wrong. i'm just saying it. it's not an opinion. and you're not just wrong, you're stupid.
and anyways, i'm atheist, so i could care less about religion.
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44 / M / Memphis, TN
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Posted 10/4/12
Divorce over religion? No. My entire concepts of love and loyalty begin in family and radiate outward, so religious allegiance is secondary to familial ties.
Posted 10/4/12 , edited 10/4/12
I'm not religious, so that isn't much of an issue. I actually like having differences since it makes things a lot more interesting and fun. I will allow different beliefs to exist in my marriage, so he should do the same.

I would be fine getting divorced from a guy who considers his religion to be more important than me. I don't consider myself an especially needy or clingy girl, so if he's going to keep getting more distant to create an unbridgeable gap, I am better off not being married. Because I am not really so keen on being stuck with someone, when I do, it means I'm putting a lot of my own s*** aside to make that commitment. It would only be fair for him to reciprocate.
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21 / M
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Posted 10/4/12
If I was married and my wife changed from hardcore Atheist to a radical (insert any religion), I would not like that.

So yes, I would leave.
Posted 10/4/12 , edited 10/4/12
That would be the most petty and illogical of reasons to divorce someone.
I could understand if he was abusive or drank too much, but changing religion? Are people seriously that closed minded?

I'm an atheist, so religion means nothing to me. Yet if I had a partner who was religious I would have no problem with that. Of course, we would have to come to some type of understanding where you don't force your beliefs on me and vise versa. Also, when it comes to kids I believe that it's better to wait until the child comes to an age where they are able to choose for themselves, rather than trying to indoctrinate them.
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24 / That place
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Posted 10/5/12
I think the notion of divorce for religious reasons or clashing beliefs being petty is pretty absurd. So is saying that divorce automatically translates into the claim that there was never true love involved or that love has somehow up and died. Being in love with someone doesn't always go hand in hand with happiness. And if there's something we crave just as much as love it's just that, to be happy.

Since religion and beliefs are something deeply ingrained in who we are and how we identify ourselves among other things it's not strange that a big portion of our potential happiness is tied to finding someone who thinks in ways similar to us or can at least accept the value of your perspective even if it's not a shared standpoint.

But when your views of the world move in different directions until it puts more and more strain on a relationship that you're desperately trying to maintain because you really are truly, madly and deeply in love with your partner, your happiness together will crumble spectacularly if you can't find your way back to where you started and, with or without changing views succeed in keeping mutual respect, and accept the equality of your perspectives.

The thing is, declaring different beliefs as equal even between loved ones is more than difficult. You choose your beliefs based on how you think the world should operate. If there were other views equal to the set you've picked out, then where lies the issue? And why aren't your views changing? No matter how conscious you are of it. Your views are superior to you, that's why they're yours and why you chose to believe in them.

Consider this. Sometimes, divorce and being apart might be the only way to keep your love intact when the happiness of togetherness dwindles away. When push comes to shove happiness isn't dependent on romantic love, but more often than not a healthy marriage depends on a couples shared happiness.
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23 / F / United States
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Posted 10/5/12
As an Agnostic I don't believe in organized religion. I think religion is a personal thing between you and whatever higher power you believe in. I think if you decide to change that it's up to you and I personally could care less as long as you aren't harming me or anyone else.

However that being said I am a very odd person when it comes to my views on religion. In most cases divorce would be necessary because an individual's world view is shaped by their religious views and in the case of raising children a difference in world views could result in an abrasive and hostile relationship.
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