First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
Do you think life should have a timeline?
7431 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / F / United States
Offline
Posted 10/13/12 , edited 10/13/12
Do you have a set time line for your life? What age you expect to be married? Have Kids? Do you think such a timeline is even necessary?


I am 22 years old and consider myself quite young. However when I look around at my family all I can see is people getting hitched and having babies. For example my cousin who is the same age as me has been married for three years and already has two children, my step sister got engaged after seeing a guy for seven months, and my other step sister just jumped into another relationship one month after a three year relationship ended. The other day their mother asked me when I was going to "settle" down. I replied that I honestly didn't know and I wasn't even sure I wanted to. Then she asked me about children and I told her maybe in my early thirties but probably never. Here reaction was disgust at best. Personally I don't feel that I HAVE to get married by a certain age or that I HAVE to have children but I'm curious to know how others feel on the matter.

I checked all the search words I could think of so I'm pretty sure this forum isn't a repeat but if it is let me know.
Posted 10/13/12
And so the dumb people of the world continue to multiply like bunnies.
Posted 10/13/12
what do u mean, "expect to be married?" hmmm...seems like u either have a plan whether u know it or not or u think someone else has a plan for u. i realize for a lot of people getting married and raising a family is only natural, but i wouldn't spend any time worrying about it at ur age...if u were like 32 or 42 and posting this question, well then that would be a different story.

some things in life are just a natural progression for some, like going to college, starting a career and so forth but i wouldn't be worried about having babies

things happen for a reason, at least i think so...
7431 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / F / United States
Offline
Posted 10/13/12

dazedandconfuzed wrote:

what do u mean, "expect to be married?" hmmm...seems like u either have a plan whether u know it or not or u think someone else has a plan for u. i realize for a lot of people getting married and raising a family is only natural, but i wouldn't spend any time worrying about it at ur age...if u were like 32 or 42 and posting this question, well then that would be a different story.

some things in life are just a natural progression for some, like going to college, starting a career and so forth but i wouldn't be worried about having babies

things happen for a reason, at least i think so...


It's definitely the later of the two. I feel the constant pressure. (My sister's mother went so far as to create an eharmony page for me without my knowledge.) She makes it seem abnormal that I don't have any direct plans for my personal life in the future. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone is under similar kind of pressure or I'm just an unfortunate smuck involved with crazy people.
18509 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / Chicago
Offline
Posted 10/13/12 , edited 10/13/12

crazyfirefly wrote:


dazedandconfuzed wrote:

what do u mean, "expect to be married?" hmmm...seems like u either have a plan whether u know it or not or u think someone else has a plan for u. i realize for a lot of people getting married and raising a family is only natural, but i wouldn't spend any time worrying about it at ur age...if u were like 32 or 42 and posting this question, well then that would be a different story.

some things in life are just a natural progression for some, like going to college, starting a career and so forth but i wouldn't be worried about having babies

things happen for a reason, at least i think so...


It's definitely the later of the two. I feel the constant pressure. (My sister's mother went so far as to create an eharmony page for me without my knowledge.) She makes it seem abnormal that I don't have any direct plans for my personal life in the future. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone is under similar kind of pressure or I'm just an unfortunate smuck involved with crazy people.


I am and I am a guy. It is 10x worse. And guess what I am also 22. I am Hispanic and this culture is quite radical when it comes to marriage and having kids. I have relative who drop out of high school just to "settle down" with someone else; I have relatives that had children as early as 16-17 years old. It almost as if they measure success by how early you have children and get married. It is ridiculous.
DaFuq with them even if they are my family. I have different a view of life: I will finish my degree and settle down when (not IF) I finish my math degree and get a good job.
Posted 10/13/12
I think life is too short and too precious to have to worry about meeting certain events on a timeline. You should enjoy it day by day and take the milestones as they come.

Oh, and warpdrive, props on choosing math as your field. Always nice to see a fellow lover of the subject.
Posted 10/13/12
hhmmm, I dont think that's necessary.
Things happen when they are destined to happen.

That's what I believe in anyway. :]
27009 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 10/13/12 , edited 10/13/12
Two thoughts.

1. Other people's views should not be a significant influence on your life plan. Those other people telling you to get married soon are telling you to do something that makes them happy. They want you to "be like them" and draw happiness from the same experiences that they do. If you conform to their expectations, you will be validating their view of what life is. That's part of being human.

On a side note, if you listen to my advice and follow your own path, you are essentially sharing my view that people should be more independent about their life paths, and you will be validating this view of mine on life. I will feel warm and fuzzy inside.

2. Don't listen to these people who talk about "destiny". They are young and inexperienced. If you believe that something is destiny, then it will affect your emotions and actions and therefore increase the chance that this destiny will happen. That is the only thing that destiny is.

If you want to have a life plan of your own, or find a good husband, then try to understand yourself, understand what you really want in a person, and understand what the people you meet (including potential guys) really want out of life. Realize that although circumstances and your emotions could very well lead you to happiness and a great future, you will be more susceptible to the randomness of circumstances than if you go out, plan, understand, and actively seek the future and mate that you want.

It's too bad most of us humans want to feel like love, fate, and destiny "just happened", instead of understanding the intricacies of human emotions, wants, and needs.

I do think that people in their 20s should develop a general timeline for their life, based on what they want out of it. Many many people have hopes, dreams, and expectations and then they hit their late 30s or 40s and realize that life will never be the way that they wanted it to be, simply because they didn't face reality and make it happen.

Posted 10/13/12
Yes but not everybody should be able to see it *cough*Facebook* cough*
21148 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / United Stated
Offline
Posted 10/13/12
@warpdrive. I agree with you as well it's about setting up your future and yourself before you worry about others

I know i'm only 18 but i am not concerned with it in the very least. I know i'm not going to get pressered into marrying or anything like that untill i'm ready with my stuff. When i have a good job and finished with school i'll really take the time to look for that one partner i wanna be for the rest of my life. However as of now, i'm not going to go out of my way to find anyone. If someone peaks my interests and they come into my life. I might pursue a little bit other than that, i'm going to let life go as it goes. Take it one day at a time and look forward to my future so it's a bright one
Posted 10/13/12
It's called facebook
8802 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Gotham City
Offline
Posted 10/13/12
Hmm, I don't have many set timelines for myself. Most of the ones I have set have already been accomplished, like graduating high school, earning a bachelor's, finding a permanent job, etc.

I don't know when I should get married, or if I ever will. I suppose I've thought about sometime in my 30s?

I'll probably aim to retire when I'm in my 60s.
8498 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / i'm there. you kn...
Offline
Posted 10/13/12
f**k having a timeline. i'm gonna live life up to the second, making decisions, stupid or not, as i live on. i'm living life the way i want. i guess you could say i'm "winging it."
33579 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / Canada
Offline
Posted 10/13/12
no timeline, it'd be boring as hell and sad. I don't make plans for later than the next day...I don't act to screw myself in the future too, everyday I become better at something and I take life as it comes...what is life or time anyway.
4427 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / M
Offline
Posted 10/13/12
I don't even think time exists. It's just something we made up. Hence no one can predict the future, so make it great.
First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.