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Random Topic: Dumbest Things you ever heard someone say
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EXO Planet
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Posted 6/6/13
"Sometimes when I feel suicidal, I eat a lot of butter... but I'm not suicidal!"

I actually just heard that today
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22 / F / london
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Posted 9/5/13
some had asked me "how do you spell KO"
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M / ???????? ?? ?????
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Posted 9/5/13
"Can you call 911 and report a stray dog on the highway for me?"

This person drove 2 miles to work from said highway, passing up several gas stations, stop lights, and shopping areas, parked their car, went to their cubicle, settled in for the day, then walked up to the desk to ask me to do this.

Idiots...
Bavalt 
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26 / M / Canada
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Posted 9/5/13 , edited 9/5/13
This isn't word-for-word, but it went something like this. I was trying to tell my brother an anecdote and started like so:

Me: So, uh... A little while ago - I think it was on a Sunday... Not last Sunday though... The one before that.
Bro: So the Sunday before last?
Me: Yeah. If you fast-forward to this Sunday, it'd be two weeks ago.
Bro: ... Gotcha.
Me (realizing it's Saturday): Oh, right. So, yeah, two Sundays before tomorrow.
Bro: ...
Me: ... Wait.
*looks at clock; it's about 1 AM, making it Sunday*
Me: *facepalm* It's Sunday. The Sunday two Sundays before no-
*lowers head close to table, holds hand up in a 'just a sec' gesture, and heaves an exasperated sigh*
Me: Two weeks ago, *insert rest of story*
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M / Fort Bragg, NC
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Posted 9/5/13

Bavalt wrote:

This isn't word-for-word, but it went something like this. I was trying to tell my brother an anecdote and started like so:

Me: So, uh... A little while ago - I think it was on a Sunday... Not last Sunday though... The one before that.
Bro: So the Sunday before last?
Me: Yeah. If you fast-forward to this Sunday, it'd be two weeks ago.
Bro: ... Gotcha.
Me (realizing it's Saturday): Oh, right. So, yeah, two Sundays before tomorrow.
Bro: ...
Me: ... Wait.
*looks at clock; it's about 1 AM, making it Sunday*
Me: *facepalm* It's Sunday. The Sunday two Sundays before no-
*lowers head close to table, holds hand up in a 'just a sec' gesture, and heaves an exasperated sigh*
Me: Two weeks ago, *insert rest of story*


Hahaha, that actually made me chuckle.
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26 / M / US
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Posted 9/5/13
I dealt with this when I visited Okinawa. Some people from other countries truly need to educate themselves before heading to visit another country.

Me: "...seriously, that restaurant makes the best food. Ever. Exclamation point."
Random person: "Why did you eat there?!?!"
Me and my friend: "....huh?"
Random person: "Don't you know that Okinawa doesn't have farm animals? Think about it! Have you seen any chickens? Pigs? Cows?"
Me: "....I'm pretty sure they have livestock. They would need a way to feed people other than relying on imports."
Random person: "Please sir, don't be fooled. They probably created it. That's why they get their tv's and electrical stuff from the US. The US made Panasonic and Sony you know and gave it to the Japanese people."
Me: "....excuse me " *checks phone* "I just got a text from a family member to pick up some groceries and he's helping me. Gotta go."
Friend: "Dude, that was rude, and I know that your phone didn't vibrate."
Me. "You're right, I should've left you there to listen to the babbling of a person that thinks the KFC franchise in Okinawa that you love eating at purchase lab grown chickens created from electronics by Sony and Panasonic, a gift from their US neighbors."
Friend: "...why do you treat me so badly?"
Me: "You're walking next to me instead of being left with that person aren't you?"

Heheh, yeah. Education is important kids. Remember that, and you'll go far.
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21 / M / United States
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Posted 9/5/13
"Does chicken really taste like chicken?"
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18 / M / England
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Posted 9/5/13
If you dream about sex you'll never get a relationship.

Matty, do you want kids?
Not really, no.
Oh god that's so mean.

Isn't the Moon and the Sun the same thing (from an adult, she was famous but I forget her name).

It's impossible for a woman to rape a man because she wouldn't be able to hold him down.

It's the cherry on the icing (as opposed to the icing on the cake lol).

Why do people say 'touch wood' and then tap their head's? Are they saying they're stupid and their head's are hollow or something?

So what is Fullmetal Alchemist?
It's an anime.
Oh so, like, Pokemon?
...ugh.

An Asian woman on my work experience asked me where I was from...Me, a caucasian Englishman who speaks English, and we were both together in England...and she wondered where I was from.

1x1 = 2

And I've looked like a twat plenty of times, too. Once I spent 10 minutes looking for the TV control and asked my mum where the controller was to which she replied 'it's in your hand'.

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M
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Posted 9/6/13 , edited 9/6/13
I heard a girl say she doesn't believe in God but that she prays when she needs help.
Baridi 
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19 / M / Australia
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Posted 9/6/13
There are to many for me to say, But...

Me to Random girl trying to get a number "I'm Biggies (rapper dude from 90's) descendant" girl looks at me with stupid look and replies: "Whats a descendant......." ....I just froze....then had the -_- are you kidding me 'look' on my face...
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16 / M / Reality
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Posted 9/6/13
"People die when they are killed" That line always gets me.
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35 / New York
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Posted 9/6/13
"There's a magic man in the sky that loves me."

I'm paraphrasing.
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58 / M / My couch, usually
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Posted 9/6/13

BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:Why do people say 'touch wood' and then tap their head's? Are they saying they're stupid and their head's are hollow or something?
They knock (or touch in the UK) wood because people used to worship trees to ward off evil spirits or bad luck. As for their heads, Pinocchio was pretty stupid, being made entirely of wood and all. To say someone has a wooden head implies it is solid throughout, with none of the content being brain matter. Self-deprecating humor is usually an attempt to appear non-threatening and make yourself seem more approachable and/or friendly.

Now, where did I just see something like that...

And I've looked like a twat plenty of times, too. Once I spent 10 minutes looking for the TV control and asked my mum where the controller was to which she replied 'it's in your hand'.
Oh, yes, I remember now...Unlike most of the time when I get up and go into another room for something, and then forget why I did it just as soon as I get there.
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M
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Posted 9/6/13
"Can you say in one sentence or less, why America is the greatest country in the world?"

Stupid is as stupid does
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18 / M / England
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Posted 9/6/13

asharka wrote:


BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:Why do people say 'touch wood' and then tap their head's? Are they saying they're stupid and their head's are hollow or something?
They knock (or touch in the UK) wood because people used to worship trees to ward off evil spirits or bad luck. As for their heads, Pinocchio was pretty stupid, being made entirely of wood and all. To say someone has a wooden head implies it is solid throughout, with none of the content being brain matter. Self-deprecating humor is usually an attempt to appear non-threatening and make yourself seem more approachable and/or friendly.

Now, where did I just see something like that...

And I've looked like a twat plenty of times, too. Once I spent 10 minutes looking for the TV control and asked my mum where the controller was to which she replied 'it's in your hand'.
Oh, yes, I remember now...Unlike most of the time when I get up and go into another room for something, and then forget why I did it just as soon as I get there.


I know why they say knock on wood. Hell, I am English. I was just saying what someone else had said.
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