Your favorite Chuck Norris Joke/Fact

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alniau 10983 cr points Send Message: 20.0167° N, 155.6... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12 Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide Whats your favorite chuck norris joke? heres 2 of my favorites -Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. -When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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DollyBear 899 cr points Send Message: 22 / F / Central Europe Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12 Definitely the scene from the movie The Expendables 2 Barney: I've heard another rumor. That you were bitten by a king cobra. Chuck: Yeah i was. But after five days of agonizing pain the cobra died. And the music playing while he comes out of the smoke is just epic!
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Pomff 2673 cr points Send Message: 22 / F / Sexual Chocolate Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12 My favorite Chuck Norris joke is the one about the time he implied that Obama is a pedophile and is working for the gay agenda against family values. Don't believe me? http://www.ammoland.com/2012/06/26/is-obama-creating-a-pro-gay-boy-scouts-of-america/#axzz1yvremfH2 lol doesn't even begin to describe my reaction.
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alniau 10983 cr points Send Message: 20.0167° N, 155.6... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12 Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide -Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. -Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories. -There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. -Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet. -Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life. -Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning. -Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language. -Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. -Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime. -Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it -Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards -Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience -When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. -Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. -Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died. -There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. - The Original title for Alien vs Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. the film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. no one would pay $9 to see a 14 sec. movie. -Chuck Norris puts out fires, with gas -Chuck Norris was ordered to go to court once but the judge never showed up. -Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry. -Steven Spielberg would have cast Chuck Norris in Jaws, but it would have been a 2 hour documentary about sushi. -Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris. heres a bunch of Chuck norris jokes I found
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alniau 10983 cr points Send Message: 20.0167° N, 155.6... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12 Pomff wrote: My favorite Chuck Norris joke is the one about the time he implied that Obama is a pedophile and is working for the gay agenda against family values. Don't believe me? http://www.ammoland.com/2012/06/26/is-obama-creating-a-pro-gay-boy-scouts-of-america/#axzz1yvremfH2 lol doesn't even begin to describe my reaction. AAAAAAhHAHAHAHAHA! thats funny Sh*T!
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animemonster96 13378 cr points Send Message: 17 / F / UK Online	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12, edited 10/31/12 Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him. Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie. 50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be. Scientists say dinosaurs are extinct due to a comet. Others say Chuck Norris wanted to test his roundhouse kick. The words: kill, decapitate, destroy, & any synonyms have been removed from the English dictionary and replaced with the words “Chuck Norris” in bold. Chuck Norris once set a lake on fire.
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12 They are all equally stupid.
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Anime-4life 11308 cr points Send Message: 23 / M / BC Canada Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/30/12, edited 10/30/12 I think chuck norris is overrated and overused. It's fine though because I am sure eventually chuck will die (for real) and possibly all these stupid jokes will come to a stop.
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 Anime-4life wrote: I think chuck norris is overrated and overused. It's fine though because I am sure eventually chuck will die (for real) and possibly all these stupid jokes will come to a stop. he'd kick ur a$$
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Anime-4life 11308 cr points Send Message: 23 / M / BC Canada Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 He prob could since he learned from bruce lee.
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haikinka 56912 cr points Send Message: Online	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 Chuck Norris once walked down a street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
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SakiAiza 698 cr points Send Message: 27 / F / Lost Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 My faovrite Chuck Norris fact is that he finds most of these exaggerated and ridiculous.
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Naicisum 3825 cr points Send Message: 19 / F Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 Fact. Bruce Lee is the real deal.
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alniau 10983 cr points Send Message: 20.0167° N, 155.6... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 Naicisum wrote: Fact. Bruce Lee is the real deal. Because he learned from Grandmaster IP
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chili17 4413 cr points Send Message: Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/31/12 When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up....he pushes the earth down In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten In baseball, there are no steroids....just players Chuck Norris has breathed on Chuck Norris threw a grenade, it killed 50 people....then it exploded my favorites
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