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Love and stuff
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20 / M / Canada
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Posted 11/16/12
Well, heres my story. I have this girl I like, however she is a friend of mine. We hangout often but I found out she likes a friend of ours (hes friends with both of us and a nice dude) who also likes her. So now Im caught inbetween, trying to get them together but it kind of kills inside because I also like her quite a bit. Share your story if you've had a similar situation. How did you handle it? What did you do? What advise, if any do you have for people like me?
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19 / F / Oslo
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Posted 11/16/12
Well... If you really like her, why don't you try for her first? Because otherwise, you'll just regret that you never said anything and if she says no, at least you'll know that you guys wouldn't have worked out and you'll be free to move on!

* I told a friend of mine that I liked him when he was trying to go out with someone else, and we started dating after that ;3 It doesn't hurt to try!
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Posted 11/16/12
I have someone I like and he likes me back but we are not going out because he belongs to a royalty, he's the best manipulator ever.
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21 / M / Missouri
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Posted 11/16/12
Aye does this sound like School days to anyone?

Best advice bro? Stop being the nice guy. Closed mouths dont get fed, you might as well express yourself to her.
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18 / M / Way outside the box
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Posted 11/16/12
I had friends go through something almost identical to this situation but the friend who liked the girl but she didnt know got really weird with it all so what i suggest is if you really like her o tell her
take a chance but do not go overboard and if it doesnt lead anywhere let them be together wont her happieness also be a good thing either way
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 11/16/12 , edited 11/16/12
It's a tough call. If a couple is formed, at least one of you will get hurt. If you keep things as they are, people can still get hurt or resentful. What I'm getting at is that there are no easy answers, and every situation differs.

I've been in this sort of situation a few times. In the first case, I pushed for the other two (over the course of a year, no less) to be together, but it didn't ever happen between them. By the time it was all over, she ended up moving away, and it was too late for me. Ironically, I found out after the fact that she was interested in me the whole time, but not at all in my friend, who she'd known for years before I transferred in. If I had to do it over again, I'd at least try to figure out for certain how she felt about me, even if I might decide to not pursue her.

A longer story, but the context is necessary:

The other time it happened, I did end up making a move, but it took some years before it eventually bit me in the ass, and in the worst way possible. This guy I used to frequently game (loads of tabletop games) with would often ask me for advice about his girlfriend, and I'd oblige him whenever possible. He wasn't all that good to her, in hindsight. She met me once in passing, completely by chance, a few years before we'd been properly introduced. But according to both of them, she started having dreams about a guy who very much fit my description after that meeting. We'd only exchanged a few words, but this freaked out my friend so much that he made it a point to keep us from ever meeting...for about two and a half years. He was that spooked. So spooked, that he also described me to her as being a "six foot tall, heavyset white guy, like a football player". I'm just under 5 foot 6 inches, 135 pounds, and Asian. I'm about the same weight now as I was in college, when this all went down.

A few years after that chance meeting, she finally met me formally, realized just how much he'd lied to her, and broke it off with him soon after. We hit it off, and started dating. We ended up getting married a few years later, and to my horror, she is a compulsive liar, and obsessed with having drama in her life to complain about. If there isn't any drama, she creates it, just so she can get sympathy from others...even if she has to make innocent people seem evil. After all of that, plus her cheating on me, we divorced. I consider myself happily divorced, now. If I had to do THAT over again, I'd have stayed the hell away from her.
shakiv 
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21 / M / Loudon,TN
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Posted 11/16/12
I say just walk away from the situation altogether easier that way but that's just my opinion. They're a bad situation any way you look at it.
Posted 11/16/12
Same situation here so I just took her end of story
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26 / X / Rochester, NY
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Posted 11/16/12

ChaseTheCase wrote:

Aye does this sound like School days to anyone?


I thought the same exact thing... :|
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21 / M / Newyork
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Posted 11/16/12 , edited 11/16/12
Schools days all over game *flashback * O>O ~~SIGH~~~ lol


but in all honesty go for all the marbles man. either way if her and your friend get together youll be the third wheel at least of you try to play all your cards if it works out yey and if it doesn't well at least you have a reason not to hang with them lol. in honesty sometimes in these situations friends tend to drift away cause of jealousy so yeah or your friend might know you like her.

in case your friend didnt know you liked her. next time call dibbs on the girl xD this is something my friends did to make sure nothing like this happened lol
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25 / M / Bonne Lake, WA
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Posted 11/16/12
You should be honest to both of them.

It's better to have a definite end or beginning.

Also, be honest with yourself. Do you want to have sex with her, or do you want to marry her?

If you want a serious relationship, ask her out. Otherwise;


does your friend love her or is he more interested in having sex with her?

If the latter is true, Ask her out anyways, as both of you are pushing for exclusivity for the wrong reasons.
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17 / M / Tórshavn
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Posted 11/17/12
Damn, yeah I agree, sounded like school days lol xD

But I think you should try go for it, try asking her out or something like that, if she doesn't want to, well in that case.. Try to get over her :L?
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 11/17/12
My advice is to get over it. I know it sounds mean, but I'm just being honest.


Psychologically, you're only wanting her because you can't get her.

Love is just chemical reactions in the brain, it fades away in 3 months - 1 year.
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17 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 11/17/12 , edited 11/17/12
sounds like a toradora situation. dont listen to the ASS above

Listen dude, it sounds like you want this girl to be happy. If hes better for her and you know it than your gonna have to let her go, but if you think you can one up this guy and treat her best than you gotta go for it. besides who do you love more your friend or this girl.

Your eyes and your heart are at war. You heart wants to take this girl and love her to bits but your eyes wants to see your bestfriend have her.

sometimes the heart sees what the eyes cant and you need to except what the heart sees as your mission.

Not gonna lie, when i came to post, i wanted to say something funny but now i really want to see this work for you. the harder you work for this love the better the reward and besides, much like god, love works in mysterious ways.

still gotta say something funny.
love is like a hitman, it always finds its victim..............then it kills the shit out of em. wait, No, thats just the hitman.
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 11/17/12
I had a similar situation happen my first year of college. My friend was interested in my other friend, but I was interested in the first friend. I decided that my desire superseded her desire and pursued the first friend. That ended up with me being in a six month relationship with her.

Things were a bit awkward around the second friend for a while, but eventually she got over it and everything returned to normal. Turned out she wasn't really as in love with her as she seemed to be. The million dollar question is what do you want from your relationship with this girl, do you want sex or do you want a serious relationship? If your answer is the latter then by all means pursue her before the other friend gets the chance to, if they are really your friend they won't mind seeing you two together.
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