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Love and stuff
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F / Earth
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Posted 11/17/12

shakiv wrote:

I say just walk away from the situation altogether easier that way but that's just my opinion. They're a bad situation any way you look at it.


Exactly! I agree. I also noticed he said "like" and not "love". Too much trouble/crap to deal with for a "like". You could also end up losing both as friends. Either way you lose something. Keep your friends, move on, and find a "love".
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23 / Malaysia
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Posted 11/17/12
Never been in your shoes, though I have had experience being in the girl's position. As that is irrelevant, I'd say give yourself a chance with her first. But of course, only do this if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for any possible rejections and possibly a change of atmosphere between you and the girl in question, and also anticipate for any changes between the three of you. Things may not go as they used to be, either for the better or for the worst.

In any case, if you think you need to get it off your chest and confess, go for it. And all the best.
desh92 
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22 / M / Ringgold, Georgia
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Posted 11/17/12
I had this happen. <.< I ended up dating her first. We broke up and a month later I found out she had dated my whole circle of friends ._. so weird.
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M / In the middle of...
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Posted 11/17/12 , edited 11/17/12
If your friend is not aware that she likes him (hopefully) you can tell him that you like her and that should put him in a position where he will think twice before accepting her advances on him. The next step is to figure out what she likes about him, most likely it has something to do with his personality. <- Dangerous


- Does he have an aura of confidence around him? Figure out what makes him confident and become more confident yourself. Quite often the clothes you wear and the way you wear them can make a HUGE difference. Remember to always keep yourself clean, don't be a pig.

- Is your friend funny, does he make people laugh? Research a little into laughter and comedy, having above average skill in wits and humour is super helpful!

- Get your body language under control!!! Girls love mysterious guys who they can't figure out, but you can't be mysterious with your body constantly leaking information on how you are feeling.

- Stop being nice, be chivalrous and a gentlemen, but don't make a big scene out of it too. Let chivalrously become your habit, it will pay off. Stop being too nice, ff your female friend asks a favour of you, agree to it but ask for something in return. Be creative about what you want in return.

- Be unpredictable, NOT crazy. Just unpredictable, start doing things you normally don't do. Start taking dance classes?

- Start talking to other girls, even if you are not interested in them, just hang around and talk to them. It will be a good experience for you and girls are more interested in guys who are popular with girls.

- Do you and your female friend hang often together? If she is not having fun when she is with you, you are doing something wrong. Find a way to have fun EVERYWHERE, who said fruits cant have personality and problems in their life? Don't fuss about what to talk about her, just talk and have fun, HAVE FUN.

- Find a perfect moment to tell your crush that you ONLY want to be friends with her. A good moment is when she start seeing you in a different light, it will make you 100% more interesting.
Alternatively if she does something nice for you, you can appreciate what she did by saying something along "I am so glad I have such a good friend like you".

- Understand how woman think, start here: http://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/things-girls-wish-guys-knew
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Posted 11/17/12

SlimShadyDogg wrote:

Well, heres my story. I have this girl I like, however she is a friend of mine. We hangout often but I found out she likes a friend of ours (hes friends with both of us and a nice dude) who also likes her. So now Im caught inbetween, trying to get them together but it kind of kills inside because I also like her quite a bit. Share your story if you've had a similar situation. How did you handle it? What did you do? What advise, if any do you have for people like me?


Lol, i remember when i was in the exact same situation.

Since i'm sure we're both different and all, you shouldn't take my advice if you think things'll turn out bad

Just. Plain. Tell. Her.

It's what i did and things turned out pretty okay(I didn't get the girl however ) I'm still friends with 'em and that was 2 years ago.

She did say that she liked me first and how she thought i wasn't into her since i'm pretty good at acting normal around everyone(I'm the social-able and outspoken type) so that made me feel better. Now whenever i find myself into a girl i just tell her, usually i get the response i want

If you don't see this working out for yourself though, it's best not to take it.
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19 / F / Soul Society
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Posted 11/17/12
Had like a love octagon in middle school xD
The guy I had a crush on was dating a girl from our band class who I didn't really know, and it turns out she wanted to date my female friend, who had a crush on some stoner-type guy, who was the neighbor of the friend who ended up asking me out... Turns out I liked him after hanging for a while, which is funny 'cause the guy I had liked broke up with his girlfriend a couple days before I agreed to go out with the other one xD My twisted love-life~~

And now my current ex wants to go back out, and the guy I asked out said he's not ready for anything after his last relationship ended badly, but he said things can change. The ex has had 3 girlfriends since I dumped him, all kinda creepy obsessive and with short relationships.

@_@ Too many people involved
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M / In the middle of...
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Posted 11/17/12

NatakeErru wrote:

Had like a love octagon in middle school xD
The guy I had a crush on was dating a girl from our band class who I didn't really know, and it turns out she wanted to date my female friend, who had a crush on some stoner-type guy, who was the neighbor of the friend who ended up asking me out... Turns out I liked him after hanging for a while, which is funny 'cause the guy I had liked broke up with his girlfriend a couple days before I agreed to go out with the other one xD My twisted love-life~~

And now my current ex wants to go back out, and the guy I asked out said he's not ready for anything after his last relationship ended badly, but he said things can change. The ex has had 3 girlfriends since I dumped him, all kinda creepy obsessive and with short relationships.

@_@ Too many people involved


I got some forest berry tea, want some?
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19 / F / Soul Society
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Posted 11/17/12
That sounds delicious xD
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17 / F / In your closet o_...
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Posted 11/17/12
Well, something simular happened to me, kinda a long story though (this is way shortened as it lasted over a year). Not a happy ending either; for any of us. Sounds a bit story-ish haha but where else do stories come from?

A few years back, my best friend told me she fancied a guy. She wouldn't tell me who he was, just that he was our year. Later that year, she got into an arguement with another girl. This girl is manipulative, and has friends in a lot of places. It wasn't long before my friend had lost everyone who had before claimed to be her friend, even though she'd done nothing wrong. But she was still my best friend, so I stuck by her all the way through, even as my other friends came up to me to ask what side I was on. Each time, I'd reply: 'Neither side. I'm just sticking by her because she has no one else who is doing that for her.'

A time came when the arguement esculated; my friend was excluded from everything, and even found herself hiding from anyone that may talk to her for the wrong reasons. We became closer than we had ever been before. Then one day she finally let out who she liked. And I froze to the spot I'd been stood. The guy had been in our class since we'd moved up to that school. The guy was one of the hottest guys I'd ever seen. The guy was a total ass. And she'd already turned him down a year ago when he'd asked her out. She wanted my help to get him to ask again, but she refused to ask him herself as she'd already said no.

So I was stuck. If I helped, I'd be helping her get with an ass that would dump her after a few weeks, but a guy that I myself had to stare at everytime I walked past him. If I didn't, I'd also be leaving her in a situation with no friends and no idea what she would do next. The decision was hard, but I had to help her. No matter of what I felt.

My friend's birthday came around. I bought her a present: a locket. Inside was a real four leaf clover that I'd picked, and a note. 'You can do it. If anyone can, you can.' But something terrible happened that tipped the scale so she never really had the chance she deserved.

A fight broke out. The girl had been warning she'd do this all day, so I had to warn my friend. We hid, but not for long - the whole school was searching for us. When the girl finally found us during the lunchbreak, she slapped my friend, and having a rather firey personality, my friend retaliated. I escaped from the crowd, but the two girls were dragged away from each other by older students and taken away by teachers.

The next day I was called into class by my form tutor. Inside the room stood my friend, the girl and her friend. The teacher asked what had happened. The girl wept in an attempt to make those around her sorry for her a she spurted out a half-true tale of things my friend had done to her. As they finally left the room, my friend told her version, as I added details she may have missed.

At the end of the year, my best friend transferred schools.

I kept in contact with her for a few months: she made new friends, got a new life. I was happy for her. I remained stuck at my school, knowing that when it all came down to it, none of the people there were my true friends.

The guy was excluded a few months later.

He'd set off a fire extinguisher in the corridor, after a series or rather more violent acts.

I ran into him one day walking round our village. I called him a twat and walked off.

And that was the end of it. One day a few months ago, I got a text from my friend after I hadn't heard from her in a while. 'You know when you gave me that clover and told me to go for it that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.'

I never heard from her since.
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20 / M / Canada
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Posted 11/17/12

ChaseTheCase wrote:

Aye does this sound like School days to anyone?

Best advice bro? Stop being the nice guy. Closed mouths dont get fed, you might as well express yourself to her.


Lol I certainly hope it doesn't end up like school days.
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F / Somewhere in the...
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Posted 11/17/12
Say something to her now or get out of the way. If they're serious about each other they don't need or want anyone's help.

Learn from k-dramas! You can't force things or you end up with "drama".
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18 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 11/17/12

WhiteKitten wrote:

Well, something simular happened to me, kinda a long story though (this is way shortened as it lasted over a year). Not a happy ending either; for any of us. Sounds a bit story-ish haha but where else do stories come from?

A few years back, my best friend told me she fancied a guy. She wouldn't tell me who he was, just that he was our year. Later that year, she got into an arguement with another girl. This girl is manipulative, and has friends in a lot of places. It wasn't long before my friend had lost everyone who had before claimed to be her friend, even though she'd done nothing wrong. But she was still my best friend, so I stuck by her all the way through, even as my other friends came up to me to ask what side I was on. Each time, I'd reply: 'Neither side. I'm just sticking by her because she has no one else who is doing that for her.'

A time came when the arguement esculated; my friend was excluded from everything, and even found herself hiding from anyone that may talk to her for the wrong reasons. We became closer than we had ever been before. Then one day she finally let out who she liked. And I froze to the spot I'd been stood. The guy had been in our class since we'd moved up to that school. The guy was one of the hottest guys I'd ever seen. The guy was a total ass. And she'd already turned him down a year ago when he'd asked her out. She wanted my help to get him to ask again, but she refused to ask him herself as she'd already said no.

So I was stuck. If I helped, I'd be helping her get with an ass that would dump her after a few weeks, but a guy that I myself had to stare at everytime I walked past him. If I didn't, I'd also be leaving her in a situation with no friends and no idea what she would do next. The decision was hard, but I had to help her. No matter of what I felt.

My friend's birthday came around. I bought her a present: a locket. Inside was a real four leaf clover that I'd picked, and a note. 'You can do it. If anyone can, you can.' But something terrible happened that tipped the scale so she never really had the chance she deserved.

A fight broke out. The girl had been warning she'd do this all day, so I had to warn my friend. We hid, but not for long - the whole school was searching for us. When the girl finally found us during the lunchbreak, she slapped my friend, and having a rather firey personality, my friend retaliated. I escaped from the crowd, but the two girls were dragged away from each other by older students and taken away by teachers.

The next day I was called into class by my form tutor. Inside the room stood my friend, the girl and her friend. The teacher asked what had happened. The girl wept in an attempt to make those around her sorry for her a she spurted out a half-true tale of things my friend had done to her. As they finally left the room, my friend told her version, as I added details she may have missed.

At the end of the year, my best friend transferred schools.

I kept in contact with her for a few months: she made new friends, got a new life. I was happy for her. I remained stuck at my school, knowing that when it all came down to it, none of the people there were my true friends.

The guy was excluded a few months later.

He'd set off a fire extinguisher in the corridor, after a series or rather more violent acts.

I ran into him one day walking round our village. I called him a twat and walked off.

And that was the end of it. One day a few months ago, I got a text from my friend after I hadn't heard from her in a while. 'You know when you gave me that clover and told me to go for it that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.'

I never heard from her since.


A few years back, so maybe when you were around 11 or 12? Well, all I can say is people change through experiences, whether it be meeting new people or losing old ones. It's how we grow as individuals.

mtom8 
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F / West Coast
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Posted 11/17/12
Let her know. Simple. Better to have said so than to just leave it hanging forever inside ya.
ispy12 
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23 / Canada
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Posted 11/17/12
you can tell her how you feel, but don't try to match your friend and her together, I hate people who does that.
you can also forget about all of this and carry on, never tell her. I did this quite a few times and you stop thinking about her after a while...it's not the best solution, but it's easy and safe imo and your feelings will always change.
Posted 11/17/12
I wouldn't keep it to myself.
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