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Social grace
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/16/12
Why is social grace in your perspective? If you are a person with social grace or someone who is a social butterfly what keeps people around you all the time? What makes people glad to see you and be the ones to say hello to you first and not having to gain their attention? How to fit in without having to try or hurt yourself to fit in?
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19 / F / Oslo
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Posted 11/16/12
I'm definitely not one of these people that has people flock to her, but I imagine it has a great deal with how you present yourself and how much energy you're willing to give other people.

For example, I get pretty tired when I have to deal with a lot of social interaction, so I prefer to stay quiet and not put myself out there, but one day when I was performing in drama for warmups, I had to be someone who was really outgoing and loud, and after I was done everyone started to talk to me a lot more. It was weird. But exhausting.

So really, it all depends on if you have the personality and charm to keep going and keep giving out that energy that everyone seems to be so fond of.
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25 / M / Bonne Lake, WA
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Posted 11/16/12
I've noticed 2 types of personalities that are relevant to this.

Some people reflect the energy that is most similar to their own. So a positive person with an outward personality will not only feel positive to be around, they also make everything positive in your position that much more positive somehow. They seem to take in positive energy and then add their own positiveness to it, then give it back. Very much like an aura. It's hard to describe, but I'm sure you know people like this. There are some people like this that also reflect everything, and make everything more emotional. Most people in this group tend to enhance the general feeling in a room.

Then there are those who absorb that energy. I myself am like this. These people tend to have a calm demeanor most of the time. They are unaffected by the world about them in most instances, and tend to become mostly a body that fills a space. In the first group, everything released is felt and reciprocated, for the most part, by that outward person. People in this second group are inward. They take things in, and then keep it in. These people are very empathic. They are the deadweight of any party, but they are also the calm and soothing presence in times of sadness. People in this group tend to not have much ability to not be empathic. This can be very tiring in large groups, especially when there is a high level of energy. This personality needs to counter all of that energy around them, and it is very tiring. They tend to get anxious in large groups.



One other way I can compare the two: those outward people tend to be very open, as they don't necessary put a lot of thought into things. The other tends to be very thoughtful, and can make people uncomfortable around them.

It's hard to really explain, but it's got a lot to do with emotional energy and how you perceive people in different times.
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/17/12
Ok I can understand that cause you I know a person who became somewhat of a local celebrity on campus all because of the parties he starts and like alot of ppl like him and alot of ppl dont. The guy I'm talking about hes loud, he raps, he's got swag and he seems to always have women all around him but alot of girls just see him as another womanizer. The women that hang around him are labeled as trashy but other than that since literally half the campus knows who he is, he does tons of friends and I'm not talking about a few dozen, I'm talking about a few hundred probably. I bet most of them arent even his real friends, they probably just hang around him for the parties he throws and stuff like that.
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M / In the middle of...
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Posted 11/17/12
Confidence and attitude.

Also it helps to live in Norway.
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32 / M / So Cal
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Posted 11/17/12
Confidence, a good ear, a warming smile and a good sense of humor for starters.

Also it helps to wear nice clothes, unless you're a stripper, then the less clothes the more people will flock to you. True story.
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F / Somewhere in the...
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Posted 11/17/12
Smile, look people in the eye and listen. It helps a lot to be clean and neatly dressed. If you smell people just want to get away from you as quickly as possible. Social grace is different from party-hardy. "Virtually" and in real life people like short, fun or funny comments, just don't make that all that you're about.
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/17/12
Ok then
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F / Somewhere in the...
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Posted 11/17/12
And not repeating what someone else has already said.....
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25 / M / Bonne Lake, WA
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Posted 11/17/12
Yeah, don't just repeat what someone else has already said,,,
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/17/12
Lol ok
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47 / F / Mid-Atlantic
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Posted 11/17/12
Do any of you believe that being comfortable with yourself really affects how people perceive you? I've known countless people that have portrayed very self-confident personalities and although they may be the people whom others surround and strive for their attention because they are wealthy or attractive or just plain charismatic they cannot claim a large number of close friends. The people that always seem to have close friendships are those who just like themselves and are nice to others. Mind you it's probably helpful not to look like a zombie.
Posted 11/17/12
Being yourself. And hang out with friends when they ask you, or you can just ask them, doesn't matter.
- That's atleast what i do
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26 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 11/17/12
People who are like that have an external stimulus that give them those characteristics.


For example, in a job interview, I have to become confident and charismatic in order to get the job.

The stimulus is the need to secure a job for survival.

Without that stimulus, I just go back to being introverted.
Posted 11/17/12
Its called alcohol
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