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I need jokes
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/18/12
Ok I need everyone to tell me a joke it can be any kind of joke whether lame, funny or hilarious.
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 11/18/12
Have you ever heard the one about the aristocrats?
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21 / M / United States
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Posted 11/18/12 , edited 11/18/12
A koala wanted a job, the interviewer asked him why they should let him in.

The Koala said he had the right Koalafications.

hahahaha

i know, i know. i worked hard on this one. ^-^

Posted 11/18/12
what did the leper say to the prostitute?

keep the tip.
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/18/12

Glazglow wrote:

A koala wanted a job, the interviewer asked him why they should let him in.

The Koala said he had the right Koalafications.

hahahaha

i know, i know. i worked hard on this one. ^-^



That's hilarious
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22 / M / Memphis, TN, USA
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Posted 11/18/12

karmacide wrote:

what did the leper say to the prostitute?

keep the tip.


This one is even funnier
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 11/18/12
A three-legged cat walks into a wild west saloon, sits at the bar, and orders a drink. The cat downs the drink, pulls a revolver, and shoots the man sitting next to him. The bartender asks, "Why'd you shoot him?"

The cat replies, "That's the man who done shot my paw."
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21 / M / United States
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Posted 11/18/12
Moar moar moar!

I was gonna tell you a joke about a wall. But you would never get over it.
I also hate cripple jokes. Can't stand them.
There's also this butter joke i had, but you would only spread it.
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 11/18/12
Crunchy Roll has neutered my best jokes by having rules against lewdness. You know what that means? It's time for Jerry Sandusky jokes!

Sandusky claims he's really young at heart. He says sometimes he feels like a 60 yr old stuck in a 10 yr old's body.

Jerry Sandusky attempted suicide by jumping into the sea...The Coastguard found him bobbing up and down on a small buoy!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Little boy blue
Little boy blue who?
Jerry Sandusky
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21 / M / BC, Canada
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Posted 11/18/12
once upon a time a guy got divorced and he lived happily ever after..
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18 / F / In your closet : P
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Posted 11/18/12
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walk into bar. The bartender looks up and asks "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 11/18/12

joblagz wrote:

once upon a time a guy got divorced and he lived happily ever after..


Heh. I've often said that I'm happily divorced. Wouldn't stop me from remarrying eventually, though.

You know what the number one cause of divorce is? Marriage.
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M / In the middle of...
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Posted 11/18/12 , edited 11/18/12

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency service.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help you. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"


Here is another one:

Jesus walked up to the registration desk of the Hilton hotel, threw three nails on the counter and asked: "Can you put me up for the night?"


Last one for the win:

My girlfriend called me the other day and said: "Come on over, there's nobody at hime."
I went over. Nobody was at home.
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18 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 11/18/12
Here we go.

DIRTY
newlyweds are enjoying there honeymoon in a cabin in the woods. A man holding a gun busts and wearing a oarnge jumsuit busts open the door and ties up the newly weds. The husband tells his wife he probably just escaped from prison and hasnt seen a woman in a long time. the man tells his wife to be strong and let him do what he wants that way they maybe they can both live. the escapee bends over and whispers something into the wifes ear. ''what did he say'' said the husband. that he was gay and needed to know where the vasoline was''.
be stong and dont resist, take one for the team. good luck.


RASCIST
Q: why do black men not play hockey?

A: Too many white men with stick. Where tha white women at. (thats the way it was told to me.)


2 INTERACIAL JOKES.

an asian, a white man, a hispanic and a black man are standing on top of a mountain. the asian jumps off and says: this is for my country. the hispanic jumps off the mountain says: this is for my country. black man pushes the white man off the mountain and says: this is for my country.


A canadian, an american and a french man are sitting in a bar. A fly flies into each one of their mugs. the frech man says: yuck and throws the beer away. the american throws his fly out of his drink. the canadian takes the fly out, holds it upside down and says: spit it out bastard.


A JOKE THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH AND FEEL BAD AFTER IT.


A mans wife is hit by a car and raced to the hospital. He runs to the hospital as fast as possible. when he gets there, the doctor is waiting for him. the doctor says its bad. docter: shes paralyzed from neck down. the man startsto cry. doctor: she acn barely talk, she has no control over her bodily fluids, youll have to clean her everyday and the treatments will cost a lot. the man starts to cry loudly and out of no where the doctor starts to laugh hysterically. husband: why are you laughing. Docter: im just effing with you. SHE DEAD.


CHICKEN ACROSS THE ROAD

WAIT, you no what. why cant a chicken cross the damn road withou being made fun of or questioned for it.

naw just jokin.
the chicken crossed the road to get to the kfc on the other side. (canniblistic bastard)


ULTIMATE CANCLATION TO A KNOCK KNOCK JOKE.

knock knock

come in BOOM
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20 / F / Norway
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Posted 11/19/12
What room can be eaten?
- A mushroom
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