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I need jokes
Posted 11/19/12
The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"

The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
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33 / M / Central Texas
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Posted 11/19/12
The next four years will be better...

Now that is a real joke.
Posted 11/19/12
Two women were sitting quietly.
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M
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Posted 11/19/12 , edited 11/19/12
"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one."

"I swear to God I'm an Atheist."
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16 / M / Canada
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Posted 11/19/12
Average japanese penis size is 3.5inch.
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18 / M / Tórshavn
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Posted 11/19/12
www.letmegooglethatforyou.com
-_- If you need a joke then go there xD But as far as I know, I don't have anything for you, I've never been the joker.. <.<
Posted 11/20/12
I find this very funny..

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23 / Canada
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Posted 11/20/12
I know the best knock knock joke...you start it
Quarlo 
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M / San Antonio
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Posted 11/20/12
A man with a shovel and a young boy are walking through a forest at night.

The boy says "I'm scared."

The man replies "you're scared? I gotta walk out of here by myself."
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F / Earth
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Posted 11/20/12
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
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F / Earth
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Posted 11/20/12
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
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F / Earth
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Posted 11/20/12
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?
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31 / M / Oslo, Norway
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Posted 11/20/12
Are Hitler jokes ok?
If yes;

Posted 11/20/12
how do you know a woman is having a bad day? shes got a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her cigarette...
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22 / M / Pennsylvania/ Ind...
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Posted 11/20/12
all my good jokes are not appropriate :/
so i will leave you with a funny picture
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