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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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35 / F / Louisiana
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Posted 11/28/12

Well, it's harder for me because it's harder to find people with a common interest. It's like I'm looking at one thing and everyone else is looking at something else. I do have friends from high school who I'm close to and have met new people (1 or 2) since then who seem to be more permanent. That kind of friendship is rare anyway regardless of the age. Even as an adult I've been in groups where I felt like Lindsey Lohan in Mean girls. I had to always do battle with Regina George and people like that too often. And I was frustrated at one point because it seemed like that's the stuff that women were made of these days. But I was wrong. That's the type of people you get when you're impatient.
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23 / M
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Posted 11/28/12
No, although my definition of "friend" has changed too. I will say that I socialize with far fewer people now than I did when I was younger, but talking to people in general is a lot easier for me than it was. I'd say it's easier, but I have much less interest in making friends than I have in the past. Then again, when I find I don't get along with someone, I tend to just not bother socializing with them, which seems a little childish to me, so maybe I have yet to know what it's like to socialize as an adult.
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 11/28/12
I've found it significantly easier to make friends as an adult thanks to great sites like adult friend finder.
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26 / F / New Jersey
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Posted 11/28/12
I'm 25 years old and I was actually having a hard time meeting people as well. I work a full-time job and I was going to university online up until a couple weeks ago. I also don't have a car, so I don't get to go out much. However, a recently joined my friend's anime club and now have a whole new group of friends that i get along really well with and we all have a lot in common. It's great! Now if I could just find a girlfriend, I'd be all set. ^_~
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22 / F / lala land
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Posted 11/28/12
define friend.....
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25 / F
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Posted 11/28/12

harkensaw wrote:

It's pretty much the same in my boat, 'cept I've not had friends since college. they all seemed to drift away and I find it increasingly hard to become interested in the 'popular' culture. Its extremely rare to find RL peeps with the same or similar interest as myself. But I've become so used to being on my own now I've pretty much given up the ghost. If the chance to make a friend turns up I never turn it down. And as stated above politeness is always a priority.


Exactly. The few times I actually do meet someone and try to form some type of connection with them, I find that we don't share the same interests at all. That was actually a problem I had a lot as a kid too, but it's gotten even worse as I've gotten older. I'm lucky that I still have a small group of really good friends to spend time with, but I love meeting new people and I'm always disappointed when the people I meet are so one dimensional.
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29 / M / NE
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Posted 11/28/12
Making friends really depends on you and how much effort you want to put into it. For my first real job, I moved to a small town where I knew absolutely no one. I started to make opportunities to meet people. I join a local club and started to get to know people through it. Its probably different in a city, but the theory is the same. Try a new activity, mine was golf, or anything. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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25 / F
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Posted 11/28/12

MrOhNo wrote:

The amount of friends you have varies over your life. In the town that I grew up in there were hundreds of kids that all grew up together, and knew each other. I talk to maybe three people from my town still. As a young adult I have maybe five goods friends. As hard as it is for most people to realize, at some point most of your old friends will start holding you back. And most of them won't like when you choose progress and success over maintaining those relationships. Those friends are usually not worth keeping if they can't be motivated to make progress in theri own lives by seeing others be successful around them.

The only advice I have for meeting new people would be to be polite. People aren't going to initiate conversations with people that act aggressively.

I don't think it gets harder to make friends when you are older. It's that you as an individual need more substance from the interpersonal relationships you develop than others. That's why you have a small group of close friends instead of a large group of acquaintances.

Your friends start "dying off" long before you hit old age. I recently started repairing a friendship with someone I haven't talked with in years. The reason we got together to talk about things was because we had lost an important person in our lives the week before. My point is that you can never know what situations will bring people in and out of your life. It's up to you to make the decision to initiate some form of contact with another person. When you make the decision to do so you'll find that most people will eagerly respond to you.

On a lighter note, I'll be your friend if you really need one.


I do have a small group of friends who are very important to me and I wouldn't give them up for the world, I just really like to meet people, but I find that it's difficult to do that when you're life consists mostly of work. Plus, like you said- as you grow, you want friends with more substance. A lot of the people I meet are incredibly shallow and can't hold a conversation unless it's about whatever celebrity did something. I'm very open and usually end up initiating conversations with people whenever I go out, the conversations just usually aren't really all that interesting lol. It's just nice to know I'm not alone in this experience
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25 / F
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Posted 11/28/12

haruharaharuko6 wrote:

I'm 25 years old and I was actually having a hard time meeting people as well. I work a full-time job and I was going to university online up until a couple weeks ago. I also don't have a car, so I don't get to go out much. However, a recently joined my friend's anime club and now have a whole new group of friends that i get along really well with and we all have a lot in common. It's great! Now if I could just find a girlfriend, I'd be all set. ^_~


I wish I new of an anime club around here. That would awesome and a great place to meet people with similar interests
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24 / M / Portland, Oregon
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Posted 11/28/12
It's definitely gotten harder. Especially with my interests being rather abstract than your everyday people. But, besides that, I feel everyone is really focused on their own lives and we all have more responsibilities. As kids we have less responsibilities and more time to meet and grow together. However, being an adult has presented me the opportunity to meet a lot of awesome people, it's not as focused as when I was younger. Also if you're going to school or not could definitely make a huge difference, but then again, that could also take away from your social life.
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 11/28/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


haruharaharuko6 wrote:

I'm 25 years old and I was actually having a hard time meeting people as well. I work a full-time job and I was going to university online up until a couple weeks ago. I also don't have a car, so I don't get to go out much. However, a recently joined my friend's anime club and now have a whole new group of friends that i get along really well with and we all have a lot in common. It's great! Now if I could just find a girlfriend, I'd be all set. ^_~


I wish I new of an anime club around here. That would awesome and a great place to meet people with similar interests :)


In the meantime, at least you can find some interesting people to have some of those conversations with here.

I'm effectively home-bound, as I am legally blind. I work from home, plus I take care of an ailing family member 11-13 hours a day. As a result, getting out to meet people isn't a very viable option at this point in my life. Most of my social interaction ends up being online, but it's fair to say that this situation isn't a permanent one. I've had some great conversations with people here, and I do see this community much like a very broad-range anime club. It's certainly not as good as when you can go meet up for coffee, dinner, etc. but it can be a viable substitute, at least for some of the conversational aspects.
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26 / F / New Jersey
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Posted 11/28/12 , edited 11/28/12
You could ways start your own anime club with the help of face book. My friend Mikey was really getting into anime and he noticed that there weren't any groups for people like that in our city, so he formed one himself and it just kept growing and growing! Now we have like 30+ members and we're working on a website and everything. We are even doing panels at the local conventions.
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18 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 11/28/12

haruharaharuko6 wrote:

You could ways start your own anime club with the help of face book. My friend Mikey was really getting into anime and he noticed that there weren't any groups for people like that in our city, so a formed one himself and it just kept growing and growing! Now were like 30+ members and we're working on a website and everything. We are even doing panels at the local conventions.


That's called commitment. I respect that.

MrOhNo 
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25 / M / Philly Suburbs
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Posted 11/28/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


haruharaharuko6 wrote:

I'm 25 years old and I was actually having a hard time meeting people as well. I work a full-time job and I was going to university online up until a couple weeks ago. I also don't have a car, so I don't get to go out much. However, a recently joined my friend's anime club and now have a whole new group of friends that i get along really well with and we all have a lot in common. It's great! Now if I could just find a girlfriend, I'd be all set. ^_~


I wish I new of an anime club around here. That would awesome and a great place to meet people with similar interests :)


I agree. I don't have any friends that share my interest in anime and manga anymore. There are no anime clubs in my area. It's most likely why I participate in these discussions, even with my dislike of most social media.
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25 / F
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Posted 11/28/12

Spazticus wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


haruharaharuko6 wrote:

I'm 25 years old and I was actually having a hard time meeting people as well. I work a full-time job and I was going to university online up until a couple weeks ago. I also don't have a car, so I don't get to go out much. However, a recently joined my friend's anime club and now have a whole new group of friends that i get along really well with and we all have a lot in common. It's great! Now if I could just find a girlfriend, I'd be all set. ^_~


I wish I new of an anime club around here. That would awesome and a great place to meet people with similar interests :)


In the meantime, at least you can find some interesting people to have some of those conversations with here.

I'm effectively home-bound, as I am legally blind. I work from home, plus I take care of an ailing family member 11-13 hours a day. As a result, getting out to meet people isn't a very viable option at this point in my life. Most of my social interaction ends up being online, but it's fair to say that this situation isn't a permanent one. I've had some great conversations with people here, and I do see this community much like a very broad-range anime club. It's certainly not as good as when you can go meet up for coffee, dinner, etc. but it can be a viable substitute, at least for some of the conversational aspects.


That's definitely one of the reasons that I'm here, that and to watch anime of course But it would be nice if there were a way to know right off the bat if someone you met in real life had the same interests as you.
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