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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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M / N.C.
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Posted 2/2/13

Kahoko_- wrote:


moneygrip3030 wrote:


Kahoko_- wrote:

These days I find it difficult to keep friends, because they just want to go out and party, I'm not really into the whole party/club scene. I made a few friends from my old job, but since I got laid off I don't see them that much. I only talk to some people by emails and texting. I don't mind though, I go out for coffee and lunch every now and then with some old friends, it's just the fact that people do draft a part and have their own thing going on. Oh well such is life!


Your true friends will always be just a phone call or e-mail away no matter how long it's been since you last talked to them. I got laid off in 2009 and I didn't talk to hardly anyone I was so "blah" about everything. But when I reached out again after my funk most of my friends totally understood all we're all good now. A real friend won't give you grief if you don't call them every week... That's just my experience BTW


Mhm! I have my one best friend, we never see each other because we live in different cities, we rarely ever talk, but whenever either of us go to visit one another it doesn't seem like time has past at all. I've known her since middle school. It's great, though I wish we could see each other more. \:


Exactly. I have several friends that I barely talk to, but when I do it's like no time has passed at all. That's a true friend....
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28 / M / Bay Area CA
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Posted 2/2/13
It's hard to form a friendship since most are formed around history and past experiences during childhood. As an adult you typically stick with who you already know since forming new experiences with people can be difficult because your time is limited when you are an adult doing adult things like working and trying not to go insane from working.
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19 / F
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Posted 2/2/13
I can find friends easier in real life than on internet as an adult
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23 / F
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Posted 2/2/13
yup, I may be older but I've remained a kid in personality and things I do and things I like
finding adults who are into the things that I am isn't easy, or at least I don't think it is.

Also, I've always been overly shy and introverted.
And a fear of the real world and the people in it has steadily grown over the many years I've spent just indoors with little to no contact with the outside world aside from family encounters.
I feel its even become a bit of a phobia of mine that is becoming more of a nuisance as time goes by.

So yea it's always been difficult for me to make friends due to my shyness and unwillingness to go or be anywhere filled with people to avoid socializing with strangers..
but now that I'm an adult i feel it's even harder and will only continue to get harder for me.
I just hope that maybe once I get a job and am forced into being around people it may help me at least a little, if only I could stop procrastinating and build up the courage to actually apply to jobs rather than just saying it.. but there's always that fear of starting life in the "real world" that holds me back..

Posted 2/2/13
yes and no, manly because ive grown up and I know what kind of friends are positive influences in my life and what kind of people i shoudnt be friends with.

growing up and having lots of friends comes with alot of disappointments and ended friendships, and growing up as a kid i failed to understand that. Ive come out of my shy-stage, and now that im older, ive found myself in the protective stage, where it takes a long time for me to trust "friends" mostly from my failed friendships in the past.

So I guess it is a lot hardier and easier...when your younger you get used and backstabbed by those you trusted but you arent as lonley..but when ur older you try to not become used but you get more and more lonley. its kinda funny when you think about it.
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Posted 2/2/13
No way, its way easier. I know what I like, I know what type of people I like, and I am free to do whatever unlike when I was a kid. Its not that hard, just start introducing yourself to people as you wait in line at the grocery store or whatever. Its only hard if you never talk to anyone or never give anyone a chance.
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Posted 2/2/13

HAPPYKID44 wrote:

yes and no, manly because ive grown up and I know what kind of friends are positive influences in my life and what kind of people i shoudnt be friends with.

growing up and having lots of friends comes with alot of disappointments and ended friendships, and growing up as a kid i failed to understand that. Ive come out of my shy-stage, and now that im older, ive found myself in the protective stage, where it takes a long time for me to trust "friends" mostly from my failed friendships in the past.

So I guess it is a lot hardier and easier...when your younger you get used and backstabbed by those you trusted but you arent as lonley..but when ur older you try to not become used but you get more and more lonley. its kinda funny when you think about it.


You have an amazing profile picture btw
Posted 2/2/13
haha thank you
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25 / M / san jose, Ca
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Posted 2/2/13 , edited 2/2/13
Yea it's alot harder to find and keep friends as an adult. You either drift apart from your old friends or people backstab u... Im in my early 20's and almost everybody i know is either nothing but a party nut. I like to drink but i cant really deal with big crowds or drunk people who cant hold their liquor. I find it more better doing things on one's own at times. But thats just me i guess. I think its better to keep your friends small and just rely on the ones who you know who's going to be there and always have your back.
Posted 2/2/13
I laugh at how I acted to make friends.
Posted 2/2/13
Not as long as I have the power of my penis.
scye27 
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Posted 2/2/13
Since I live with my boyfriend, we usually have to find other couples to attempt to make friends with. Even as a team effort, we haven't really found many new friends that weren't still half of our old friend and their new boyfriend/girlfriend. It is very hard for me to find people to be actual friends and not just acquaintances or people I work with. In high school, I had a bunch of friends....and now I literally have no friends that I can just call up and say, "hi, want to come over?" that live in my city....meh
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23 / M / Maryland
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Posted 2/2/13 , edited 2/2/13

Kahoko_- wrote:


moneygrip3030 wrote:


Kahoko_- wrote:

These days I find it difficult to keep friends, because they just want to go out and party, I'm not really into the whole party/club scene. I made a few friends from my old job, but since I got laid off I don't see them that much. I only talk to some people by emails and texting. I don't mind though, I go out for coffee and lunch every now and then with some old friends, it's just the fact that people do draft a part and have their own thing going on. Oh well such is life!


Your true friends will always be just a phone call or e-mail away no matter how long it's been since you last talked to them. I got laid off in 2009 and I didn't talk to hardly anyone I was so "blah" about everything. But when I reached out again after my funk most of my friends totally understood all we're all good now. A real friend won't give you grief if you don't call them every week... That's just my experience BTW


Mhm! I have my one best friend, we never see each other because we live in different cities, we rarely ever talk, but whenever either of us go to visit one another it doesn't seem like time has past at all. I've known her since middle school. It's great, though I wish we could see each other more. \:


This reminds me a lot of me at the moment. All of my high school and most of my college friends only seem to enjoy themselves when they are out drinking or consuming other substances. I see them and go out for lunch or hangout every couple weeks but aside from that its tough to do other things as all they want to do is drugs or party. I mean I'm not hard to enertain and just spending time with people I care about whether its just talking, cooking, or a movie is enough for me to have a fun day. I don't like alcohol or being inebriated so drinking and parties just seems like a waste of my time. l email and text with a couple close college friends but since they've graduated(I'm about to myself) it's tough to find time to see them as they have work/relationships/other friends which keeps them very busy. Still I'm roomates with my awesome brother who shares my interests for the most part(anime, martial arts, history, etc.) so I never really feel lonely like some people do, rather I miss old friends. But like you I have a couple good friends who when I see them its like we just saw each other yesterday and I'm all smiles.

I've been trying to meet some new people lately and been making progress little by little so I'm a little optimistic. Hope things go well for you :)

Moneygrip you're right about the whole true friends thing, Sadly there very tough to find but worth all the effort.
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19 / M / USA
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Posted 2/2/13
lol same thing that happened to me mann!! i started back smoking cus i saw no point in staying clean anymore.
ItsMev 
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21 / M / Melbourne, Australia
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Posted 2/2/13

fritolady wrote:

yup, I may be older but I've remained a kid in personality and things I do and things I like
finding adults who are into the things that I am isn't easy, or at least I don't think it is.

Also, I've always been overly shy and introverted.
And a fear of the real world and the people in it has steadily grown over the many years I've spent just indoors with little to no contact with the outside world aside from family encounters.
I feel its even become a bit of a phobia of mine that is becoming more of a nuisance as time goes by.

So yea it's always been difficult for me to make friends due to my shyness and unwillingness to go or be anywhere filled with people to avoid socializing with strangers..
but now that I'm an adult i feel it's even harder and will only continue to get harder for me.
I just hope that maybe once I get a job and am forced into being around people it may help me at least a little, if only I could stop procrastinating and build up the courage to actually apply to jobs rather than just saying it.. but there's always that fear of starting life in the "real world" that holds me back..



I can relate to nearly everything you've said here more than you know...

And I am in the process of trying to fix my situation! Just gotta take the first step.
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