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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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25 / M / Bakersfield
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Posted 2/2/13
I actually find it rather difficult to make friends, I don't really have a problem with talking to random people and will occasionally make aquaintences in my classes to keep me company in class. But I have a difficult time turning that into a lasting friendship. Kinda feel like I am trying too hard to make friends.
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23 / F / Bulacan
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Posted 2/21/13
I do find it difficult. When I make friends people tend to mistake it as flirting which I swear is not.

And lately, I feel like I have chosen the wrong type of friends and now I'm stuck...
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25 / World Wide Web
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Posted 2/21/13
No. I find it just as impossble now as I did when I was a kid...
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Posted 2/21/13 , edited 2/21/13
First off there's a lot of selfish people on here wow! Did you guys/gals have bad childhood experiences? You should be happy! You seem to make friends easier now. Good for you!!

I think that as an adult it's more challenging for most of us. If you struggle with this I know how you feel! Add me. It's completely normal if; you've moved around a lot, work a lot, or get stuck at home all day. We need each other! The world doesn't prioritize friendships over money and circumstances but we can fix that!

Here's a couple observations I've noticed from feeling the same. I hope it helps!;

1. It's the little things that matter. Try to take on simple but rewarding things with your new friends. : ) All the good memories I've had are of simple things. For example; going to diners, playing music in the basement or garage, going on small trips to see a band, playing sports close to home.

Recently I've joined many organizations, visited churches, and more to help make good friends yet these things didn't help in the long run. They helped temporarily and they are a must, but it's important to know that it's events outside of these organizations that fulfill!! It's called bonding. So let's not be fooled. We must be with each other in some sort of joint solitude, at least in most cases. Think about it.

2. Going off of what I just mentioned ^ It's important to bring social balance back into your life. Like many people have said on this thread as we get older we are in less unique and less socially accepting circumstances. There are no spontaneous people around and there are no consistent opportunities. As a kid almost ALL of us had school. It's that simple. We all had one big social pool to grab from. When that disappears or becomes more serious then we become needy for it again. Especially if we move to a new location. So we simply need to insert it back into our lives, but like I said in my last point, it won't entirely do the trick. We must understand that others already have lives built up around them and they won't always need us. I believe in god and that god will bring me together with the right people. But even if you don't the chances that there is someone out there somewhere is high! This world works hard at making money but not on being happy! The world is truly becoming less social. Facebook is very artificial and is a small tool that can't do the entire job. So bring the social balance back in! Just remember it will take more time to become absorbed into your new friends lives unlike in the past, and also remember that you have to meet with them outside of the institution as well once we are comfortable enough. Geez it happened so fast as kids we overlooked how easy it was!

You can help out at a homeless shelter, join a meetup at meetup.com, join a church (don't just join any church do your research and meet the people first!!!), you can start a band, a guild online, a community online (that might promote politics or something via Facebook). Good luck!

3. Say something stupid! I was at the supermarket today and there was this nice old lady. She was talking non stop. She was saying whatever was on her mind. I mean it was crazy. But almost everyone she talked to liked her and they talked back.So sometimes just talking to random people and saying random things might work. It's common that fear is what keeps us from finding good friends. I have meant a lot of good friends through random talking! But be cautious make sure you hang out in a social setting first. They could be dangerous. lol.

4. Invite people to your house for a small party. The problem for me is that I'm not in that kind of livable situation but if you are you should host your own event (but make sure it's about something that's special to you!) like a music, game, or a food event, then you are taking all the pressure and stress off of others!.This should make it easy for people to like you and want to get to know you.
Posted 2/21/13
No cause I never leave my house so I do not have any.
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19 / M / a dimension where...
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Posted 2/21/13
I would think so, I don't know how it is though...at least for now
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29 / M / Washington DC
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Posted 2/21/13
yep I think so but it mainly me not caring so much about it, sure I don't mind talking to random people if say want to talk. Also now I'm at the point where I busy trying to find a job and getting college done that I have no time for it.
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31 / Bristol, England, UK
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Posted 2/22/13
People come and go in your lives. Nothing lasts forever.

Learn to love your own company.
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F / US
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Posted 2/22/13
Yeeeeah, I can't make friends irl cuz all I do is play games, watch jdorama and anime and read manga. So I have in-game friends but rl friends.. Hard to find kewl people to hang out with. But I really need to get out there and be more social, ahaha.
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F / US
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Posted 2/22/13




Yeah, it's true, too many people are selfish. But once you get in that it's hard to get out of. So I'll take that offer and add you ! Ahaha ! I hope we can be good friends.
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20 / F
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Posted 2/22/13 , edited 2/22/13
It's hard for me in particular to make friends because I'm very picky about who I choose to spend my time with. If I don't think you're worth it, I don't bother. But on top of that, I'm very introverted, and never leave the house.
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15 / F
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Posted 2/23/13
I don't obsess over making friends and I don't see that changing in the future.
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F / gazing at the scr...
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Posted 3/3/13
when I was little, I used to be a social bug. as I get older, I've gotten antisocial..... I have no social skills at all, and have to interest in making friends. if I make friends with people I usually see and talk to, then that's fine. but I will not go out of my way to make nice with anyone.
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99 / F / Your boundaries
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Posted 3/3/13
I don't really try.. If I happen to meet people and we get along, cool. If not, oh well... I don't really care.. Lol.. I just do my thing and live my life.. If people, for some reason, want to be part of it, I usually don't mind as long as they don't annoy me.
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24 / M / Australia
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Posted 3/3/13

miserykitsune wrote:

I found it hard enough as a child.

I only imagine it gets harder as an adult when you have less time for socialising and hobbies, and most people would have settled with friends from before and reluctant to make anymore. Then you have your friends emigrating and whatever else.

Then when you hit old age, your friends start dying off..


I can relate to that quite well, myself.
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