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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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M / Los Angeles, CA
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Posted 6/8/13
Between work, family, video games, and anime it's hard to find time for friends. Being adult is hard.
Posted 6/8/13
mmm I think once you get older you start seeing who the real friends and those who are not are. Making friends who share the same interest. Being in college it does get easier because you are put with people who share the same interest. I think it should be easier to make ,more friends once you start growing up. =D
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21 / F
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Posted 6/8/13
yup...its really hard for me...i moved here in america from philippines and its hard for me to make a new friends with the same hobbies as mine...well i don't have friends that has the same hobbies as mine...
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22 / F / TX
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Posted 6/8/13
It's not harder, but it's definitely a different experience. Mainly because my standards for friendship are different now that I'm older.
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25 / F
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Posted 6/9/13



no if your patient enough they will come up to you.
Posted 6/9/13
lol
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23 / M / old dirty road in...
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Posted 6/9/13
It is easier i think. Women are more open and Men kinda start growing out of the whole "is that guy mean muggin me. fuck that guy" teenage douche macho thing and becoming more mature and accepting.
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25 / M / Canada
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Posted 6/9/13

shadow_grey wrote:

I struggle as well.

As we grow up, the commonalities we have with strangers (similar preferences in TV shows, video games, food, toys, etc.) no longer seem to be enough to motivate us to get to know them. It seems that we value more the familiarity of those we already have bonds with, despite their apparent differences from us.

I think that having even just a few good friends you've known for a long time is a very good thing. They're like family. You can rely on them when it comes to difficult and personal things.

For me, making friends as an adult takes more time than I've ever needed in the past. The days pass by, you've talked about many things, hung out at a myriad of places but still you feel as if you don't really know them, let alone trust them in the same way you trust your old friends.

My only suggestion would be to just give it time.


This pretty much sums it up for me too.

Although it seems making friends on the internet is a might easier for me than getting to know someone in real life at my age haha.

A good example is that I had worked with a few guys for about 8 months give or take a few days, and we got along really well. We even played online games together and it was all great. But we never really progressed beyond that, we never hung out or went out together. And when I was laid off we haven't spoken since.

I never really felt that motivation that I did back when I was younger and I don't understand why, seeing as I would be happy to have more friends. I even feel sad sometimes that I have a lack of friends to do things with or talk to. (Although I am extremely grateful for the ones I do infact have).
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34 / M
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Posted 6/9/13
It was never "easy" for me to make friends. As a child I was misdiagnosed as autistic then as ADD. Turns out I have aspergers. I can make friendly acquaintances very easily, but the level of contact needed to be friends tends to betray how odd I am, which makes many people either wary or uncomfortable. I am getting better at it, but even if I ever become good at I do not think it will ever be "easy" for me.
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22 / M / Colorado
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Posted 6/9/13

AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, buddy! Of course I also have developed a bit of a social anxiety over the last few years and that certainly doesn't help haha!
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34 / M
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Posted 6/9/13
To jakal: If you are comfortable with a bit of frank discussion, how does your social anxiety affect you? Does it prevent you from initiating social interaction, or is it more that it makes the interaction uncomfortable and difficult?
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20 / M / portland, oregon USA
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Posted 6/9/13
I find it harder because alot of people on my age are not really into anime... I know they find me weird because I love watching Anime and reading Manga but fuck 'em... All I need is to find a trusty otaku friend :3
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28 / F / FL
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Posted 6/9/13
Since you are working a lot try to find time to spend with your co workers then. Likely they have the same schedule as you. Of course they might have their own lives but it wouldn't hurt to ask to spend outside time together. Or even a get together of employees outside of work kinda thing is a good start. Going to places that interest you is another way. At least there is a common ground there.
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28 / F / FL
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Posted 6/9/13

redder0409 wrote:

I find it harder because alot of people on my age are not really into anime... I know they find me weird because I love watching Anime and reading Manga but fuck 'em... All I need is to find a trusty otaku friend :3


I need a trusty otaku friend in real life myself lol
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25 / F
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Posted 6/10/13

vrc6868 wrote:

It's not harder, but it's definitely a different experience. Mainly because my standards for friendship are different now that I'm older.



I agree with that. I've let a lot of people go in my life because they didn't meet the standards I have for a true friend. Nothing wrong with that though, it just means you'll have better quality people in your life
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