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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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29 / M / Philadelphia
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Posted 11/28/12

Shrapnel893 wrote:


Spazticus wrote:


westnyorai wrote:
I've decided long as I don't get to the point of taking in cats. I'll be fine.


Nothing wrong with having cats. Just don't become a crazy cat guy, and you'll be fine.


Why cats? Why not something badass, like a cuddlefish?


Maybe I should be the crazy hamster guy and name them all after hamtaro characters.
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19 / F / Tiphares
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Posted 11/28/12 , edited 11/28/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


Shrapnel893 wrote:


Spazticus wrote:


westnyorai wrote:
I've decided long as I don't get to the point of taking in cats. I'll be fine.


Nothing wrong with having cats. Just don't become a crazy cat guy, and you'll be fine.


Why cats? Why not something badass, like a cuddlefish?


Are cuttlefish really considered badass? lol Wouldn't a panther or a wolf be more badass?


Nah, nah, I think that owning cuddlefish just screams 'Stud-Muffin' when you see a guy walking down the street holding a fish tank full of cuddlefish and swagger.

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25 / F
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Posted 11/28/12

Shrapnel893 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


Shrapnel893 wrote:


Spazticus wrote:


westnyorai wrote:
I've decided long as I don't get to the point of taking in cats. I'll be fine.


Nothing wrong with having cats. Just don't become a crazy cat guy, and you'll be fine.


Why cats? Why not something badass, like a cuddlefish?


Are cuttlefish really considered badass? lol Wouldn't a panther or a wolf be more badass?


Nah, nah, I think that owning cuddlefish just screams 'Stud-Muffin' when you see a guy walking down the street holding a fish tank full of cuddlefish and swagger.



Cuttlefish = stud-muffin. Got it. I'll be sure to add that to my list of what to look for in a guy lol
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29 / M / Philadelphia
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Posted 11/28/12 , edited 11/28/12
Muffins are strange. For a guy muffins are awesome, yet mention to a girl she has a muffin top and you'll get slapped.
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25 / M / Behind You
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Posted 11/28/12
Its just as easy now as it was when I was in school. The same rules for making friends then apply to life now...you have to get involved.

Between work, the gym, church and all the other stuff I do throughout the week, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people.
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Posted 11/28/12
I think it depends on where you live as well. When I lived in an urban area where human contact was constant I found that I discovered new friendships more frequently and easily. Something was always going on and a lot of people were on the streets walking. However, I moved back to my suburban hometown where everyone drives and I meet people less.

Overall, I think the biggest obstacle to finding new friendships at this age is definitely school or work. I always have something going on, which makes it hard to keep in touch. But I am a bit of a workaholic so I think that has contributed as well.

I really do think that finding a social group that shares a common interest or hobby is a great start though! Some of the most fun I had was being part of a cooking club.
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20 / M / Narnia
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Posted 11/28/12
No because I still have a childish mentality when it comes to making friends o_o
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23 / M / Los Angeles, Ca
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Posted 11/29/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.
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22 / M / Southern California
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Posted 11/29/12
It seems a lot harder for me. I know someone already suggested that we get involved-- I'm assuming involved in different groups and whatnot-- but I can't quite find the time to do that if I have to balance it with a significant amount of work/homework from college. The only time I can maybe try to talk to people would be during the classes I go to. But then again, other than the fact that we, the people in the same room, have nothing in common besides the same class, I personally find it difficult to have that as a starting point of a conversation..? You can only talk so much about classes.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that a lot of the people I meet are pretty serious about where their life is heading and I find that a little difficult to relate. Even though I care about my future, I still do want to enjoy my days however I can. Eh.
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25 / F
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Posted 11/29/12

yellowmangoes wrote:

It seems a lot harder for me. I know someone already suggested that we get involved-- I'm assuming involved in different groups and whatnot-- but I can't quite find the time to do that if I have to balance it with a significant amount of work/homework from college. The only time I can maybe try to talk to people would be during the classes I go to. But then again, other than the fact that we, the people in the same room, have nothing in common besides the same class, I personally find it difficult to have that as a starting point of a conversation..? You can only talk so much about classes.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that a lot of the people I meet are pretty serious about where their life is heading and I find that a little difficult to relate. Even though I care about my future, I still do want to enjoy my days however I can. Eh.


Exactly. I work a lot and, although I like my co-workers, pretty much all we talk about is work. When I go to class, I really don't have time to talk to anyone either, unless it's classwork related. I just go to class then go to work, then I go home lol Pretty boring. And yeah, a lot of people our age are really focused on their future, but it makes it hard to start a casual conversation. That's what the internet is for, I suppose lol You can meet a lot of people with the same interests as you, it's just a shame they don't all live in your town.
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25 / F
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Posted 11/29/12

DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.


You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe
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25 / F
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Posted 11/29/12

mouseprint wrote:

I think it depends on where you live as well. When I lived in an urban area where human contact was constant I found that I discovered new friendships more frequently and easily. Something was always going on and a lot of people were on the streets walking. However, I moved back to my suburban hometown where everyone drives and I meet people less.

Overall, I think the biggest obstacle to finding new friendships at this age is definitely school or work. I always have something going on, which makes it hard to keep in touch. But I am a bit of a workaholic so I think that has contributed as well.

I really do think that finding a social group that shares a common interest or hobby is a great start though! Some of the most fun I had was being part of a cooking club.


Very true. I think if I lived in a big, busy city things might be different, but living in a small town means there's not a lot of socialization outside of your close group of friends. I have made a few acquaintances in my baking class though, so I suppose that's a start
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37 / M / Charleston, SC
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Posted 11/29/12
I don't bother to even try. At this point I'm married and have two little kids. My best friend is my wife, my only guy friend lives an hour away and has two kids as well. I interact with other adults constantly but have little desire to establish "new" friendships. And since I was a military brat I find it hard to associate with people that lived their whole life in one place. There's no time for socializing freely and no money for driving around and paying for every little thing. Helping kids with school, and after school activities is a chore. And any good parent will agree with this....you will never feel as though you've done enough. So much pressure to be the perfect parent, and then that pressure is put upon the child by the parent trying to be perfect. Who the hell has time to make friends?!?! The goal is to keep the children alive until they're 18. Then college...or whatever. Then make retirement and get an RV or something, and THEN you have time to make new friends that have also survived the gauntlet. And then die.

So no it's not just you, it's life. Now if you no longer want hot showers, and a roof over your head then dump everything and pick some mediocre excuse for a band to follow for a year. You'll probably meets lots of new people. But the adults prefer to make associates, play nicely by the rules, and enjoy our personal lives when life makes it convenient to do so. Friends are the people that are experiencing the same situations and decisions you are and can appreciate that you have no time to talk to them. That it's not that you don't want to. There simply is no time.
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20 / M / A suburban town i...
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Posted 11/29/12
I don't struggle as much as I kind of gave up on friendshipping people haha. I know it's sad but, it's just how it is. It seems more to me that people try gaining respect of society more than befriending it so that kinda puts me in a pickle and a half. But for befriending people I try talking to them to set things off. Just kind of hard with lack of consistent interaction to befriend people. Cause in school, work or being a regular somewhere make it so that people can count on seeing you at certain places so interaction is constant. But going to Target constantly cause I love the conversate with some people there make me seem creepy and kind of hurt my chances haha.
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24 / F / Rapture
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Posted 11/29/12
I was actually awful at making friends until a few years ago. All through out middle school and high school I had one human friend and my dog. I struggled for a long time but I think most of the problem was I was terrified of showing who I really was to people. I adapted to that and became completely satisfied as a loner. I'm not a mean person, I just have a lot of walls.

But then a funny thing happened, I adapted so I was happy. I was happy so I was less concerned about what anyone thought of me. My guard was lowered and I found myself having causal conversations about video games, anime, and comic books with random people. I made one new friend which led to a very large group that I consider a second family now. i haven't had very much luck outside of that but I have more friends now then I ever did
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