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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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Posted 11/29/12


Be a kid or a grandma/grandpa, I am very sociable.
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23 / F / Georgia, United S...
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Posted 11/29/12
I think it is easier, but thats when you have a small group of friends, where in high school "everyone" was a friend. As an adult you have more in common and easier to socialize with. Plus you basically can go anywhere you desire. Right now even though im just 21, Im attractingyoung teenagers and that needs to stop.
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20 / M / Ireland
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Posted 11/29/12
Its easier as child seeing as there is no such thing as judgement. I find it harder making friends cause I think I have a habit of labelling people way to quickly without getting to know them.
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24 / M / Los Angeles, Ca
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Posted 11/29/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.


You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe :P


I do find it pretty easy to talk to people, but also a good percentage of the time people come up to me and start a conversation; the majority of time it involves my motorcycle. Like at a gasoline station, if I see a fellow rider with a sick bike I'll go up to him/ her and ask them if they ride the canyons or just enjoy group rides and vice versa. At the super market, if I see someone that has similar items that I'm purchasing or contemplating on purchasing I'll ask for their opinion on said item; with cute chicks, that's just a good opener lol
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Posted 11/29/12

DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.


You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe :P


I do find it pretty easy to talk to people, but also a good percentage of the time people come up to me and start a conversation; the majority of time it involves my motorcycle. Like at a gasoline station, if I see a fellow rider with a sick bike I'll go up to him/ her and ask them if they ride the canyons or just enjoy group rides and vice versa. At the super market, if I see someone that has similar items that I'm purchasing or contemplating on purchasing I'll ask for their opinion on said item; with cute chicks, that's just a good opener lol


Motorcycles are awesome, so I could definitely see that being a good conversation starter. I do find having a pet makes talking to people easier. I have a pretty unusual dog, so people tend to approach me about that whenever I walk her or take her to a dog park. I can't imagine myself approaching a guy at a super market and talking to him about what he's buying, but then again, I guess I'm a little shy when it comes to the opposite sex. I do find it really easy to talk to people about their purchases when I'm at work though, but that's to make a sale and most of the male customers I get are buying for their wives or girlfriends lol
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28 / M / Waterloo, Ontario
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Posted 11/29/12
Yes, being an adult is hard and it is harder to make friends.
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25 / F
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Posted 11/29/12 , edited 11/29/12

EricOfficially wrote:

I don't struggle as much as I kind of gave up on friendshipping people haha. I know it's sad but, it's just how it is. It seems more to me that people try gaining respect of society more than befriending it so that kinda puts me in a pickle and a half. But for befriending people I try talking to them to set things off. Just kind of hard with lack of consistent interaction to befriend people. Cause in school, work or being a regular somewhere make it so that people can count on seeing you at certain places so interaction is constant. But going to Target constantly cause I love the conversate with some people there make me seem creepy and kind of hurt my chances haha.


I kind of gave up too, but I hate the idea that I gave up. I just really enjoy meeting new people, but I'm finding that harder and harder to do. I was just thinking of how much time I spend in Target lol, but you can't really make friends there, though a lot of the cashiers know me by now :3
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21 / M / A suburban town i...
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Posted 11/29/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


EricOfficially wrote:

I don't struggle as much as I kind of gave up on friendshipping people haha. I know it's sad but, it's just how it is. It seems more to me that people try gaining respect of society more than befriending it so that kinda puts me in a pickle and a half. But for befriending people I try talking to them to set things off. Just kind of hard with lack of consistent interaction to befriend people. Cause in school, work or being a regular somewhere make it so that people can count on seeing you at certain places so interaction is constant. But going to Target constantly cause I love the conversate with some people there make me seem creepy and kind of hurt my chances haha.


I kind of gave up too, but I hate the idea that I gave up. I just really enjoy meeting new people, but I'm finding that harder and harder to do. I was just thinking of how much time I spend in Target lol, but you can't really make friends there, though a lot of the cashiers know me by now :3


haha I feel weird just walking in there and getting something on such a casual demeanor.
"Hey Clint."
"More yu gi oh cards? Forget that man, go buy me some food. I'll even pitch in a dollar."
and such haha.

But it's an idea, going to the store and just discussing stuff with people. Although I will say that my favorite place to meet people so far has been Barnes & Nobles. Whether it's discussing the newest comics that come out, the manga, debating over stuff over some coffee at the indoor starbucks the place has or just goofing off with some friends there, that place will forever be one of my favorite places to go to. but on a realistic note I only made an acquaintance there. It's all good though, the random conversations there with random people are entertaining enough.
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34 / M / ICQ: 114629959
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Posted 11/29/12
Yepp.. I think its more complicated.
All that awful problems adults have... downright disgusting...
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25 / F
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Posted 11/29/12

EricOfficially wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


EricOfficially wrote:

I don't struggle as much as I kind of gave up on friendshipping people haha. I know it's sad but, it's just how it is. It seems more to me that people try gaining respect of society more than befriending it so that kinda puts me in a pickle and a half. But for befriending people I try talking to them to set things off. Just kind of hard with lack of consistent interaction to befriend people. Cause in school, work or being a regular somewhere make it so that people can count on seeing you at certain places so interaction is constant. But going to Target constantly cause I love the conversate with some people there make me seem creepy and kind of hurt my chances haha.


I kind of gave up too, but I hate the idea that I gave up. I just really enjoy meeting new people, but I'm finding that harder and harder to do. I was just thinking of how much time I spend in Target lol, but you can't really make friends there, though a lot of the cashiers know me by now :3


haha I feel weird just walking in there and getting something on such a casual demeanor.
"Hey Clint."
"More yu gi oh cards? Forget that man, go buy me some food. I'll even pitch in a dollar."
and such haha.

But it's an idea, going to the store and just discussing stuff with people. Although I will say that my favorite place to meet people so far has been Barnes & Nobles. Whether it's discussing the newest comics that come out, the manga, debating over stuff over some coffee at the indoor starbucks the place has or just goofing off with some friends there, that place will forever be one of my favorite places to go to. but on a realistic note I only made an acquaintance there. It's all good though, the random conversations there with random people are entertaining enough.


Whenever I go into Barnes & Nobles there aren't any other people in the comic/manga section I think it's just where I live though, there aren't that many anime/manga lovers here, sadly. The people at Starbucks know me though because I usually go there on my way to work :p Oh, and the guy at my sushi place has memorized my order, so I guess that's a start lol. I think I just need to move to a bigger city. There aren't a lot of opportunities to meet people where I live pretty much just because it's a smaller place.
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21 / M / A suburban town i...
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Posted 11/29/12
I used to think that too but then the more steadily I went, the more people I saw. You never know, maybe there are but just aren't out of the closet with it yet. man I love sushi but am too poor to consistently go, but one day. One day I will reach the legendary status of "Regular". And unless god forbid, maybe even "Super-Regular". Eh I understand, living in the suburbs that I do, I go out of my way to go to the slightly more populated surrounding cities. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." And the entertainment of social company never ceases the amaze me. And if all else fails, there's always online forums like this one.
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24 / M / Los Angeles, Ca
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Posted 11/29/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.


You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe :P


I do find it pretty easy to talk to people, but also a good percentage of the time people come up to me and start a conversation; the majority of time it involves my motorcycle. Like at a gasoline station, if I see a fellow rider with a sick bike I'll go up to him/ her and ask them if they ride the canyons or just enjoy group rides and vice versa. At the super market, if I see someone that has similar items that I'm purchasing or contemplating on purchasing I'll ask for their opinion on said item; with cute chicks, that's just a good opener lol


Motorcycles are awesome, so I could definitely see that being a good conversation starter. I do find having a pet makes talking to people easier. I have a pretty unusual dog, so people tend to approach me about that whenever I walk her or take her to a dog park. I can't imagine myself approaching a guy at a super market and talking to him about what he's buying, but then again, I guess I'm a little shy when it comes to the opposite sex. I do find it really easy to talk to people about their purchases when I'm at work though, but that's to make a sale and most of the male customers I get are buying for their wives or girlfriends lol


:hmm: Seems like you may just lack confidence or just have an 'old-fashion' way of approaching men (i.e hoping that the guy she likes makes the first move and comes over and asks' her out). Sounds like you work at an erotic womens' lingerie store. lool
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Posted 11/29/12
Hmm, I'm not so sure. I've always had friends since I was little, can't remember that I had to try. Although those same friends refuse to play with me when I decided to skip a grade and leave them behind. I don't know why they felt like they couldn't talk to me anymore, because before I left I told them we'd still be friends...though that apparently didn't turn out as well as I expected. Making friends with people older at least by a year from me was the same, didn't have to go through much problems. That is, until I hit college. Man, I tell you some people that you meet in college can be a real pain in the ass.

Anyway, as of my age now, I don't really feel like it's hard to make friends. I just have this really bad habit or ability to keep in touch with people, because I keep thinking that they have their own lives to deal with and by this and this time they would have made other friends. So yeah. I guess I'm just bad in keeping in touch with friends, because if I really think about it, I do have plenty - and most of them, if not all, are good people. Sometimes it makes me feel bad of myself, I am blessed with good friends but I am really poor in keeping up with them - aside from the occasional "Happy birthday! Hope you etc etc" and congratulations for anything good happening in their life.
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66 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 11/29/12

haikinka wrote:

Is it me, or do the people around you get more boring the older you get?


Sad to say, it's you.

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22 / M / Southern California
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Posted 11/30/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:

Exactly. I work a lot and, although I like my co-workers, pretty much all we talk about is work. When I go to class, I really don't have time to talk to anyone either, unless it's classwork related. I just go to class then go to work, then I go home lol Pretty boring. And yeah, a lot of people our age are really focused on their future, but it makes it hard to start a casual conversation. That's what the internet is for, I suppose lol You can meet a lot of people with the same interests as you, it's just a shame they don't all live in your town.


Yea, this is exactly how I feel about it! The worst part about the classes in college is that you start over every semester. New classes, new people. Some people see that as a good thing, some don't. But it makes it so much harder to build relationships this way, unless you decide with a person to take a class together. Also, we wouldn't know if we would've been friends with a certain person if we only spent more time with them--- which is difficult because of class changes every semester!

Sometimes, I think that some people are so serious that I find it hard to see if they have a sense of humor, which makes me less likely to joke around them -____- which lessens my conversation topics even more! haha...!

LOL! What would we do without the internet! XD
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