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Post Reply Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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22 / M / Southern California
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Posted 11/30/12

starlightpriestess wrote:



Be a kid or a grandma/grandpa, I am very sociable.


I wish there were more of you in my college!!!!!! >_____<
Mr_Ed 
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you know what they say "is better to have 4 quarters than have 100 pennies"
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Posted 11/30/12

bemused_Bohemian wrote:

Sad to say, it's you.



That must be the shortest thing you've ever posted.
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Posted 11/30/12
I've never had an easy time making friends due to 'issues' of a personal nature, but I found your question interesting so I started thinking about it, weighing experiences and so on. What I found is that I can't really come up with a neat and tidy answer, and the short version; yes or no, would be to digitalize it to the point where it becomes meaningless. So, for myself the answer will have to be, put simply; it's complicated.
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Posted 11/30/12

DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.


You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe :P


I do find it pretty easy to talk to people, but also a good percentage of the time people come up to me and start a conversation; the majority of time it involves my motorcycle. Like at a gasoline station, if I see a fellow rider with a sick bike I'll go up to him/ her and ask them if they ride the canyons or just enjoy group rides and vice versa. At the super market, if I see someone that has similar items that I'm purchasing or contemplating on purchasing I'll ask for their opinion on said item; with cute chicks, that's just a good opener lol


Motorcycles are awesome, so I could definitely see that being a good conversation starter. I do find having a pet makes talking to people easier. I have a pretty unusual dog, so people tend to approach me about that whenever I walk her or take her to a dog park. I can't imagine myself approaching a guy at a super market and talking to him about what he's buying, but then again, I guess I'm a little shy when it comes to the opposite sex. I do find it really easy to talk to people about their purchases when I'm at work though, but that's to make a sale and most of the male customers I get are buying for their wives or girlfriends lol


:hmm: Seems like you may just lack confidence or just have an 'old-fashion' way of approaching men (i.e hoping that the guy she likes makes the first move and comes over and asks' her out). Sounds like you work at an erotic womens' lingerie store. lool


I'm pretty confident, just shy and probably a bit old fashioned. I've approached men in the past, but (as I said in another forum post) my "flirting technique" is mostly just me babbling like an idiot for an hour lol But every now and then that works, some guys find it cute I suppose. I work at a Bath and Body Works lol, so I sell lotion and candles and whatnot. Most of the customers we get are women. If a man does walk in, he's usually shopping for a lady friend.
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Posted 11/30/12

yellowmangoes wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

Exactly. I work a lot and, although I like my co-workers, pretty much all we talk about is work. When I go to class, I really don't have time to talk to anyone either, unless it's classwork related. I just go to class then go to work, then I go home lol Pretty boring. And yeah, a lot of people our age are really focused on their future, but it makes it hard to start a casual conversation. That's what the internet is for, I suppose lol You can meet a lot of people with the same interests as you, it's just a shame they don't all live in your town.


Yea, this is exactly how I feel about it! The worst part about the classes in college is that you start over every semester. New classes, new people. Some people see that as a good thing, some don't. But it makes it so much harder to build relationships this way, unless you decide with a person to take a class together. Also, we wouldn't know if we would've been friends with a certain person if we only spent more time with them--- which is difficult because of class changes every semester!

Sometimes, I think that some people are so serious that I find it hard to see if they have a sense of humor, which makes me less likely to joke around them -____- which lessens my conversation topics even more! haha...!

LOL! What would we do without the internet! XD


Yeah, at least in high school you were with the same people for a year. A semester really isn't long enough to get to know someone, especially when most classes are only an hour once or twice a week. It's definitely hard to find people to joke with or who share my interests.

Yay internet! It's a magical thing, bringing people closer together
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Posted 11/30/12
dunno
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Posted 11/30/12 , edited 11/30/12
I definitely find It much harder to find people you make a good connection once out of school, also it seems a lot of people are more invested in figuring out there own life and don't really has a much time for making friends. I guess that's why we have forums, so we can just end up building a bunch of people who aren't really friends >.> ...
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Posted 11/30/12
social life: 0
online life: over 9000
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Posted 11/30/12
If you start a new hobby, or something similar like start to study - making friends isn't hard at all, I mean, you all share the same intrest (thats why you all are there haha).

and it's not really a big issue to go and talk with strangers, the worst that could happen is the person would talk back to you?!

everyone wants new friends, everyone ;D so just go and talk with people you think are intresting or start a new hobby!
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Posted 11/30/12
It can be more difficult, simply because adults have a tendency to get locked into patterns. If you have a full time job, marriage and kids maintaining lots of friendships can be tough.
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Posted 11/30/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:


DAN213 wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with.

How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do?


Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously.


You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe :P


I do find it pretty easy to talk to people, but also a good percentage of the time people come up to me and start a conversation; the majority of time it involves my motorcycle. Like at a gasoline station, if I see a fellow rider with a sick bike I'll go up to him/ her and ask them if they ride the canyons or just enjoy group rides and vice versa. At the super market, if I see someone that has similar items that I'm purchasing or contemplating on purchasing I'll ask for their opinion on said item; with cute chicks, that's just a good opener lol


Motorcycles are awesome, so I could definitely see that being a good conversation starter. I do find having a pet makes talking to people easier. I have a pretty unusual dog, so people tend to approach me about that whenever I walk her or take her to a dog park. I can't imagine myself approaching a guy at a super market and talking to him about what he's buying, but then again, I guess I'm a little shy when it comes to the opposite sex. I do find it really easy to talk to people about their purchases when I'm at work though, but that's to make a sale and most of the male customers I get are buying for their wives or girlfriends lol


:hmm: Seems like you may just lack confidence or just have an 'old-fashion' way of approaching men (i.e hoping that the guy she likes makes the first move and comes over and asks' her out). Sounds like you work at an erotic womens' lingerie store. lool


I'm pretty confident, just shy and probably a bit old fashioned. I've approached men in the past, but (as I said in another forum post) my "flirting technique" is mostly just me babbling like an idiot for an hour lol But every now and then that works, some guys find it cute I suppose. I work at a Bath and Body Works lol, so I sell lotion and candles and whatnot. Most of the customers we get are women. If a man does walk in, he's usually shopping for a lady friend.


Hahahaa That is a common likable trait in a girl, I tend to like girls that talk a lot since I'm more on the chill side but as long as it works for you I suppose. lol
That is true about what you're saying, I've only been to that place once and it was to buy a birthday gift for an ex..

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Posted 12/1/12
I cut ties with most of the people I knew in high school.

Later in life the opportunities to make friends are there. Anytime you join a group, there's an opportunity. I'm just trying not to do the same with the people I meet now.

Purely anecdotal, but there it is.
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22 / M / Southern California
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Posted 12/1/12

AmayaTsuki wrote:

Yeah, at least in high school you were with the same people for a year. A semester really isn't long enough to get to know someone, especially when most classes are only an hour once or twice a week. It's definitely hard to find people to joke with or who share my interests.

Yay internet! It's a magical thing, bringing people closer together


Mhm mhm! I agreee! lol the worst classes to make friends are the ones at night, cause I don't really care about anything by then-- I just want to go home from being in school aallll day T___T

Ah! ke ke ke.. Why can't the bicycle stand up? Because it was "too tired" !! har har har! ah man, I crack myself up... (sigh *o* )
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Posted 12/1/12

yellowmangoes wrote:


AmayaTsuki wrote:

Yeah, at least in high school you were with the same people for a year. A semester really isn't long enough to get to know someone, especially when most classes are only an hour once or twice a week. It's definitely hard to find people to joke with or who share my interests.

Yay internet! It's a magical thing, bringing people closer together


Mhm mhm! I agreee! lol the worst classes to make friends are the ones at night, cause I don't really care about anything by then-- I just want to go home from being in school aallll day T___T

Ah! ke ke ke.. Why can't the bicycle stand up? Because it was "too tired" !! har har har! ah man, I crack myself up... (sigh *o* )


One of my classes last semester was a night class and, yeah, I didn't talk to anyone lol I was exhausted after a day of school and work and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to people lol

You're hilarious! :p
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