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What makes you feel lonely?
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23 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 12/1/12

Spazticus wrote:


lordseth23 wrote:


Midnalink24 wrote:

When you're hanging out with someone and just feel like you're a really boring person and things along those lines....Then you see that person hanging with someone else having a much better time...Basically the lack of presence.


This is an accurate description of all my social experiences, and the most likely reason why I do not have any friends.


It's probably more likely because you're a self-loathing person. If you don't even like yourself, why should anyone else? Then again, most people don't want to watch their friends spiral into a self-destructive cycle of self-loathing, and many will eventually give up on those who are quite determined to crash and burn. No sense in dragging others down with them, really...it's just purely selfish behavior.

The person you quoted is speaking of a lack of presence, which is a mostly neutral mindset, and can often be attributed to just feeling shy/socially awkward. That is also fairly common, and can be worked through with trust and time. Your presence on the other hand, is effectively a negative one for others; and only you have the power to change that.


I didn't always have this "self-destructive" behavior. I used to try and be the best person I could be, only to realize that I was too socially inept to form real friendships and that I was just wasting peoples time whenever I tried to "hang out" or have any type of conversation with them. You can only try for so long until it becomes painfully obvious that you are a serious detriment to anybody you come in contact with, and there is NO guarantee that you will ever find someone that isn't annoyed by your presence. Rather than trying some more and ruining the lives of other people, I choose to stay away as much as possible from them while waiting for death. This is the cause of my "self-destructive" behavior and the reason why I wish I had never been born.
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M / NY
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Posted 12/1/12
Im never lonely, even when I'm alone, which is part of my problem. But I digress, and have no desire to elaborate.
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 12/1/12

lordseth23 wrote:

[I didn't always have this "self-destructive" behavior. I used to try and be the best person I could be, only to realize that I was too socially inept to form real friendships and that I was just wasting peoples time whenever I tried to "hang out" or have any type of conversation with them. You can only try for so long until it becomes painfully obvious that you are a serious detriment to anybody you come in contact with, and there is NO guarantee that you will ever find someone that isn't annoyed by your presence. Rather than trying some more and ruining the lives of other people, I choose to stay away as much as possible from them while waiting for death. This is the cause of my "self-destructive" behavior and the reason why I wish I had never been born.


You aren't/weren't trying hard enough. Yes, there are people who can and will be total bastards at every opportunity, but there are plenty of people who aren't. So you're taking the "life's too hard, so I'm giving up" mentality...so be it, it's a cowardly path, though. Then again, this comes back to the fact that you don't even like yourself, but you attributed not having friends to a lack of presence. I pointed out that your presence is negative, and that it's purely stemming from your choices. I've come across a lot of cynical people in my time, but you really seem determined to stay on this path, and blame the rest of the world for your own mindset. I'd even go to the point of saying it's whiny, given that you lament this perfect world you want that nobody will ever see, in any lifetime.

You don't have to be an optimist. You just have to be someone who doesn't drag others into constant negativity. Realists can do that just fine, too.
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34 / M / The Void.
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Posted 12/1/12
Nothing anymore. I have felt that emotion very rarely in my life. It's a emotion based on the illusion of separateness.
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37 / M / Charleston, SC
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Posted 12/1/12
When the oil slick rainbow wave comes on in public, and I can feel the sands of time blowing so hard that they're wearing into the stone of my soul. And I look around at faces of strangers hiding their fear and feeling of disconnectedness. And I want to do something but have no clue what. And the mystery of why I even care begins to hurt my head. So I walk on.
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23 / M / West-Central Florida
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Posted 12/1/12
Having no friends. I still don't have any friends in real life, but I've got friends on here now. That makes me feel lots better. I'm even eating less! I would binge all the time, and the only thing I ate yesterday was some chips and beans. It's also starting to make me feel more confident, so now maybe I can get outside and go find a job.

But if for some reason, Crunchyroll were to shut down, I'd be really sad...I don't think there'd be another place with people as nice as they are here that share the same interests as me.
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38 / M / Where the heart is
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Posted 12/1/12
I have maybe one friend, and none on the Internet. I don't give my number out to my coworkers or they'll use it to keep track of me rather than just to keep in touch. I can think outside the box, but can't live outside of it. I don't text anyone including my friend because it feels incredibly awkward to do it. I'd rather talk to her face to face than something impersonal like texting. I don't call anyone. My standard attitude to everyone in public is that I'm stand-offish and don't like being cornered with questions, lest I become passive aggressive. I guess lonely is the only life I know and wouldn't know what to do with myself or another person if that were to change.
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21 / F
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Posted 12/1/12
When I barely have any contact with my close friends. I hate being alone, and feeling lonely.
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22 / F / lala land
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Posted 12/1/12
when i'm surrounded by fake people...it makes me feel even more lonely then when i'm by myself
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34 / M / The Void.
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Posted 12/1/12 , edited 12/1/12
Extroverts are mainly the ones that feel lonely since they need and crave socializing in regular amounts. It's like they're addicted to the feeling of being around people.
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18 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 12/1/12
I have family popping out of every cravis of my house so i definetly never felt lonely before.
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34 / M / The Void.
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Posted 12/1/12 , edited 12/1/12
Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Loneliness is the feeling that you may or may not get from being alone.
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18 / F / Waiting for your...
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Posted 12/1/12
I only felt lonely when I was in the hospital.
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Posted 12/2/12 , edited 12/2/12
I think it's interesting that about half of the replies show that like myself many people feel lonely not so much from being isolated by circumstance but from being isolated by others e.g. ignored or ostracized. Which this might be reading to much into things but I think this might be caused in part by the fact that we all live in our own pocket societies which consist of our workmates, classmates, family members, and even our immediate neighbors in our city. Thus the group of people we interact with may not be very diverse so it can be very possible that at least on certain specific topics no one you know may share your particular perspective. Which I think might be part of the reason for the booming success of the internet. It allows people from all walks of life to globalize, to come together and express themselves with the protection anonymity provides to their real-life social image they've worked hard to build. (Incidentally this isn't always a good thing since it is the very reason trolls feel free to terrorize people on forums as well.)
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Papers filled wit...
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Posted 12/2/12
I feel lonely when I have no one to talk to about my problems. Sometimes I get lonely when everyone talks about a topic I don't particular know. Other times, I feel lonely when I ask a friend/ family member if they want to go outside with me but they decide not to go because they are lazy or etc. But its understandable in a way I think...other then that I listen to my friend's life..but they don't listen to mines in a certain degree or they misheard me or misread. ._...... idk what am I talking about now.....
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