128734 cr points
Send Message:   29 / F / where all my drea...
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Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide EightBitRed wrote:
wwe wrote:
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Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide ZingFreelancer wrote:
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breakups do sux and they are very hard at times depending who it is your breaking up with, I am going though a breakup with my bf its not 100% yet but he talking as he losing the Love feelings he has for me  we dated for over 5 months would be 6 in 2 weeks, for now he says we should just stay as friends and can wait a bit and see what happens but if he dont get the feeling back he says we cant be bf/gf anymore but if he does then we can stay as bf/gf. the way we talk it sounds like I have until after xmas for him to really make up his mind. If there nothing I can do until then, then it will be a 100% breakup. for now he just going to talk to me as a friend and not as a gf. If things dont go the way they are and we dont go back as bf/gf after xmas then I will have to move on. Moving on will be the hardest part.
wwe wrote:
Thank you and right now been talking and he still wants to be friends so maybe there still some hope left we did just plan on seeing each other again but have to wait for Feb only b/c he does live far so can only see each other ever few months. So maybe this time we can work it out this might be my last shot so its make it or break it this time. If it dont work out this time in Feb then have to move on.
I think you are doing something wrong and I doubt that you actually realizing it yourself. First of all there are these differences you spoke of, figure them out, you can't go to war on his ass blindfolded. But don't fuss too much about it, because he could have lied about it.
Why?
Weeeell, if your profile is true and you are 28, I assume he is not that far from 30 himself. You said that he considered moving in together with you, he might not have said it, but perhaps he even considered starting a family too?
It could be that he simply become insecure about this whole situation, because if you move in with a woman and start a family when you are THAT old, its not like you can just break up and start all over again after couple of years. So maybe, and am saying maybe because this is my best guesswork, he become insecure when he asked himself "Is she really the right one?", that alone might have caused him to distance himself from you in order to figure out his own feelings. You should probe that out, might be worth talking it over with him.
Or maybe there are really these "our differences" that have gotten in the way, who knows? Or maybe there is something entirely different that has caused this whole incident.
At any rate, I am not going to give advice on how to make a guy fall in love with you, after all you made him fall for you once, so do it again! Just please do yourself a favour and don't sit patiently at home waiting for him to call you or something like that. Start doing shit, ANYTHING, take cooking classes if you have to. Just do SOMETHING!
If he calls you and you are in middle of conversation with a friend or just doing shit, its OKAY not to answer. Call him back later or next day, have a nice and friendly conversaton with him, let him know that you still care and miss him by not telling him that directly but by asking questions like... I don't know...
"How have you been?"
"Have you been eating properly?"
"I thought about you when I was there or there and saw this or that."
Anyhow, enough gibberish from me. You, have to stop sitting around and start busting your ass off. You got until February to figure out why he did what he did and make him fall in love with you all over again, if in the process you loose interest for him or find another guy. Make him fall in love with you anyway, just for the heck of it. Payback is a bitch.
Woman love confident guys who know what they want, same goes for the guys. They like a confident woman who is difficult to get, especially the guys who are good with woman.
P.S.
“Three months ago, if you asked me, I would have told you that if you really loved someone, you’d let them go. But now I look at you, and I dreamed about somebody I loved, and I see that I’ve been wrong. If you really love someone, wwe, I think you have to take them back.” ~ Jodi Picoult
Thanks for your advice and just fyi he younger then me he 23, but anyway I will keep going on with life, will go to work, hangout with friends and so on. As for the reasons why he wanted to breakup was 1) he said our living habits are not the same as in he goes to gym a lot 2-3 times a week after work and workout for a few hrs and is heather then me and I dont go to the gym. 2) I sometimes have spelling grammar issues where sometimes my spelling is not right or I have typos and he has a pet peeve with spelling, he big on spelling. 3) He dont see anyway of looking past our differences where he like to try to work on it even thought we do have lot of other stuff in common. We both like the same movies, music, games, tv shows, food guess thats not enough for him to work on it. We never had any fights before we was always happy as far as I could tell but after the last time we saw each other he said he could tell would not work out and he dont think he would have the Love feelings for me anymore. I did try my best to tell him we are only human and we all have our flaws but no matter how hard I try, it did not seem to help. He did say he does still care for me and still want to be friends and we are still talking with each other. He still wants to see me again maybe like you said I can make him fall in love again.
These reasons your ex has given you are far the most dumbest reasons to break up with you. If he was really in love with you why would he even care about how you write or go to the gym? You do your thing and he does his, why do I feel like he wants you to be some little Mary sue? Even then the grammar issue can be fix, does he really have to break up with you over something so dumb? I would love to meet your ex to see how much of a English Scholar he is, and then see if his spelling and grammar is worthy of Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. If anything you should be the one angry with him, this loser isn't worth your time and I highly suggest you don't get back with this idiot. Guys like him frustrate me, they don't appreciate what they have until years later.
I do agree with you on how dumb it is, even i think he being to picky with it I even try to talk to him about it and even told him we are only human and we all have our flaws but nothing I said or did, did not help at all guess he just could not handle someone as different as me it seems like he wants someone to match him thats the same as him. I dont get why, I mean everything we been though I thought by now he could look past my flaws but guess he could not. I even try to tell him how I looked past his flaws and even if they might bother me I would never breakup with you just like that I would keep going to work on it. I not really sure on all why he broke up with me there might be more to his reason on why and he just not saying why. The only thing I dont get is all the time we was dating he never said anything to me about any of this any of my flaws and how I am, that bother him. If he did I could of work more on them and help make it work. He just kept it all to him self until now, until he could not handle it no more. He said he did that b/c he wanted to see if he could make it work but at the end he could not. Right now I just need time to heal before I can move on. All this time I thought we where happy and had something I really thought he did care a lot for me, I am still confused on what really happen and what could of made him think like this and just give up on me like that. Idk something still dont feel right like there more to this story. Like you said this is a dumb reason to breakup and I never seen anyone breakup with someone over small stuff like this. He never seem to be the picky person before so why now?.
I already got the feeling that his reasons for break up didn't make up the entire painting on the wall, there has to be more then just that. If I had to guess I think he met another women, probably at the gym, and he's just looking for reasons to break up with you so he could be with said person. But just to make things clear, none of this is your fault and you should never blame yourself for not being his little Mary Sue. Mary sues don't exist, every single girl has flaws the same way guys have flaws. You need to keep your head up, this loser will eventually get whats coming to him and one day a girl will break up with him over the same dumb reasons. If he wasn't like this before then obviously something or someone is on his mind that you don't know about, it all sounds fishy to me.
Yeah agree well one thing I should at least know the full truth on why so I can fully move on. So what I did was I told him how I feel and it seems dumb reason he giving me and I want to know the real reason and the full story. If he answers the same from before then I will just leave it as it is and forget but if I do get the full truth out of him I will update on what happen.
The most important thing is never show him weakness. Stand your ground and try to see if you can see through his bullshit lies
Thanks and thank you for your advice.
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8267 cr points
Send Message: 23 / M / Miami, Florida
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wwe wrote:
Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide EightBitRed wrote:
wwe wrote:
Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide EightBitRed wrote:
wwe wrote:
Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide EightBitRed wrote:
wwe wrote:
Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide ZingFreelancer wrote:
Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide wwe wrote:
breakups do sux and they are very hard at times depending who it is your breaking up with, I am going though a breakup with my bf its not 100% yet but he talking as he losing the Love feelings he has for me we dated for over 5 months would be 6 in 2 weeks, for now he says we should just stay as friends and can wait a bit and see what happens but if he dont get the feeling back he says we cant be bf/gf anymore but if he does then we can stay as bf/gf. the way we talk it sounds like I have until after xmas for him to really make up his mind. If there nothing I can do until then, then it will be a 100% breakup. for now he just going to talk to me as a friend and not as a gf. If things dont go the way they are and we dont go back as bf/gf after xmas then I will have to move on. Moving on will be the hardest part.
wwe wrote:
Thank you and right now been talking and he still wants to be friends so maybe there still some hope left we did just plan on seeing each other again but have to wait for Feb only b/c he does live far so can only see each other ever few months. So maybe this time we can work it out this might be my last shot so its make it or break it this time. If it dont work out this time in Feb then have to move on.
I think you are doing something wrong and I doubt that you actually realizing it yourself. First of all there are these differences you spoke of, figure them out, you can't go to war on his ass blindfolded. But don't fuss too much about it, because he could have lied about it.
Why?
Weeeell, if your profile is true and you are 28, I assume he is not that far from 30 himself. You said that he considered moving in together with you, he might not have said it, but perhaps he even considered starting a family too?
It could be that he simply become insecure about this whole situation, because if you move in with a woman and start a family when you are THAT old, its not like you can just break up and start all over again after couple of years. So maybe, and am saying maybe because this is my best guesswork, he become insecure when he asked himself "Is she really the right one?", that alone might have caused him to distance himself from you in order to figure out his own feelings. You should probe that out, might be worth talking it over with him.
Or maybe there are really these "our differences" that have gotten in the way, who knows? Or maybe there is something entirely different that has caused this whole incident.
At any rate, I am not going to give advice on how to make a guy fall in love with you, after all you made him fall for you once, so do it again! Just please do yourself a favour and don't sit patiently at home waiting for him to call you or something like that. Start doing shit, ANYTHING, take cooking classes if you have to. Just do SOMETHING!
If he calls you and you are in middle of conversation with a friend or just doing shit, its OKAY not to answer. Call him back later or next day, have a nice and friendly conversaton with him, let him know that you still care and miss him by not telling him that directly but by asking questions like... I don't know...
"How have you been?"
"Have you been eating properly?"
"I thought about you when I was there or there and saw this or that."
Anyhow, enough gibberish from me. You, have to stop sitting around and start busting your ass off. You got until February to figure out why he did what he did and make him fall in love with you all over again, if in the process you loose interest for him or find another guy. Make him fall in love with you anyway, just for the heck of it. Payback is a bitch.
Woman love confident guys who know what they want, same goes for the guys. They like a confident woman who is difficult to get, especially the guys who are good with woman.
P.S.
“Three months ago, if you asked me, I would have told you that if you really loved someone, you’d let them go. But now I look at you, and I dreamed about somebody I loved, and I see that I’ve been wrong. If you really love someone, wwe, I think you have to take them back.” ~ Jodi Picoult
Thanks for your advice and just fyi he younger then me he 23, but anyway I will keep going on with life, will go to work, hangout with friends and so on. As for the reasons why he wanted to breakup was 1) he said our living habits are not the same as in he goes to gym a lot 2-3 times a week after work and workout for a few hrs and is heather then me and I dont go to the gym. 2) I sometimes have spelling grammar issues where sometimes my spelling is not right or I have typos and he has a pet peeve with spelling, he big on spelling. 3) He dont see anyway of looking past our differences where he like to try to work on it even thought we do have lot of other stuff in common. We both like the same movies, music, games, tv shows, food guess thats not enough for him to work on it. We never had any fights before we was always happy as far as I could tell but after the last time we saw each other he said he could tell would not work out and he dont think he would have the Love feelings for me anymore. I did try my best to tell him we are only human and we all have our flaws but no matter how hard I try, it did not seem to help. He did say he does still care for me and still want to be friends and we are still talking with each other. He still wants to see me again maybe like you said I can make him fall in love again.
These reasons your ex has given you are far the most dumbest reasons to break up with you. If he was really in love with you why would he even care about how you write or go to the gym? You do your thing and he does his, why do I feel like he wants you to be some little Mary sue? Even then the grammar issue can be fix, does he really have to break up with you over something so dumb? I would love to meet your ex to see how much of a English Scholar he is, and then see if his spelling and grammar is worthy of Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. If anything you should be the one angry with him, this loser isn't worth your time and I highly suggest you don't get back with this idiot. Guys like him frustrate me, they don't appreciate what they have until years later.
I do agree with you on how dumb it is, even i think he being to picky with it I even try to talk to him about it and even told him we are only human and we all have our flaws but nothing I said or did, did not help at all guess he just could not handle someone as different as me it seems like he wants someone to match him thats the same as him. I dont get why, I mean everything we been though I thought by now he could look past my flaws but guess he could not. I even try to tell him how I looked past his flaws and even if they might bother me I would never breakup with you just like that I would keep going to work on it. I not really sure on all why he broke up with me there might be more to his reason on why and he just not saying why. The only thing I dont get is all the time we was dating he never said anything to me about any of this any of my flaws and how I am, that bother him. If he did I could of work more on them and help make it work. He just kept it all to him self until now, until he could not handle it no more. He said he did that b/c he wanted to see if he could make it work but at the end he could not. Right now I just need time to heal before I can move on. All this time I thought we where happy and had something I really thought he did care a lot for me, I am still confused on what really happen and what could of made him think like this and just give up on me like that. Idk something still dont feel right like there more to this story. Like you said this is a dumb reason to breakup and I never seen anyone breakup with someone over small stuff like this. He never seem to be the picky person before so why now?.
I already got the feeling that his reasons for break up didn't make up the entire painting on the wall, there has to be more then just that. If I had to guess I think he met another women, probably at the gym, and he's just looking for reasons to break up with you so he could be with said person. But just to make things clear, none of this is your fault and you should never blame yourself for not being his little Mary Sue. Mary sues don't exist, every single girl has flaws the same way guys have flaws. You need to keep your head up, this loser will eventually get whats coming to him and one day a girl will break up with him over the same dumb reasons. If he wasn't like this before then obviously something or someone is on his mind that you don't know about, it all sounds fishy to me.
Yeah agree well one thing I should at least know the full truth on why so I can fully move on. So what I did was I told him how I feel and it seems dumb reason he giving me and I want to know the real reason and the full story. If he answers the same from before then I will just leave it as it is and forget but if I do get the full truth out of him I will update on what happen.
The most important thing is never show him weakness. Stand your ground and try to see if you can see through his bullshit lies
Thanks and thank you for your advice.
You're welcome! Do your best!
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Laugh hysterically until my tears go away
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128734 cr points
Send Message: 29 / F / where all my drea...
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Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide DarnUsername wrote:
First, depends on what kind of relationship I had with him but if it's a long-lasting and serious one, I'd prolly go out with my buddies. Invite them to go to a karaoke bar, get drunk, then sing my heart out. Get wasted for a day. The next day, be an awesome-er me and act as if nothing happened. Crying and sulking my heart wouldn't get us back together so the best way for me to move on is to make myself waaay awesome-er than I was before and make him regret that he broke up with me.
Second, Fvck it. What's the point of keeping the relationship going if he already gave you up right? Whatever reasons, if he truly loves you, he wouldn't give you up like that,
And lastly, the worst break-up for me would be with my first boyfriend. We lasted for almost 3 effin harmonious years during high school then he broke up with me on the night of our graduation ball without giving me an effing reason. He even asked me if we can be friends instead. Geez seriously? A year after, I found it he's dating my bestie. Now they're already engaged. FML!
Dame that really sux sorry to hear that. I know how you feel it sux and the paint is not fun at all. Does take time to heal like you said depending on the relationship could last long time before feeling better or could feel better lot sooner. For me could take me about a few weeks before am fully heal.
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10983 cr points
Send Message: 20.0167° N, 155.6...
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WWE.....I think its safe to say... go treat yourself....I went through a break up not to long ago... and the first thing I wanted to do was go to outback steakhouse or PF changs.... that night I ended going to both. but usually eating is not the best way.. but thats what I did..... I thought it would of been better than to drink my thoughts away... anywho...... wanna talk ......I'm a counselor/therapist in real life...... I wont give advice or opinions..... but maybe I could give some suggestions..... I find it better to have some suggestions rather than getting advice or opinions.....cause that way you could take it or leave it... and some times its good to just listen..... and don't worry... if any of you need a pep talk I will do it for free.....just PM me!!!! peace out |
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never been in deep close relationship mainly cuz of my age lol but most of the time i just focus on school more and on doing well in life.
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6003 cr points
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quite well
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34583 cr points
Send Message: 26 / M / Vancouver, BC, Ca...
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Sufficient alcohol to get you and friends smashed and video games tourney until dawn.
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8213 cr points
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MUSIC, Probably crying a little (if it really hurts that bad) and whiskey.... but mostly Music....
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22670 cr points
Send Message: 18 / F / Behind you
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No matter what I cereal get a large extra cheese, extra pepperoni, stuffed crust pizza and move on.
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9974 cr points
Send Message: 20 / M / San Diego, USA
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How many freaking times must I recommend watching the Season 1 OVA of Clannad for all things romance.
No seriously, that OVA about covers it.
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31609 cr points
Send Message: 21 / M / just over der
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When I go through a break up I try to keep myself busy. Don't get me wrong i think about it and i'm sad as all hell but the more you dwell on it and how terrible it is the worse it gets. Just broke up with my girlfriend of two years and it was the same situation where you still love them and want to keep going out but the other person just doesn't feel the same. So lately I've been watching a ton of anime, playing D&D, and so much video games.
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24099 cr points
Send Message: 36 / M / Utah
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When one doesn' t want the relationship it won' work, so breakups to me are sad but final. I never try to go back or reverse them. As for handling I usually spend some time around friends I trust, talk through the pain then move on.
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6619 cr points
Send Message: 26 / F / California
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Sometimes it depends on how long I was with the guy, but I usually just surround myself with my friends and family and keep myself productive/busy.
But honestly, if your significant other wants to break up...it's not worth trying to work things out if you're the only one that wants to give it your all when they want to give up.
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128734 cr points
Send Message: 29 / F / where all my drea...
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I wonder if anyone has ever stayed friends with there ex after a breakup. would it be to hard to see them again only as friends or could you handle it? I think it depends and if you could handle him/her being with someone else once they moved on. I also wander how many of you ever got back with your ex and made it work out again. |
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