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How do you handle breakups?
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19 / F
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Posted 12/8/12
Be alone for a while, gather my thoughts on everything. I'll get better within a week or so, and simply move on with life.
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M
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Posted 12/8/12

Shrapnel893 wrote:


KiteCross wrote:

State of denial denial denial and even denying that you're in denial,


Just a guess, but is your avatar Caren Hortensia from Fate/hollow ataraxia?

Back on topic, I handle break-ups with my fist.


Yes, and I see that you like to take the direct route to solve your problems.
Aimyay 
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M / The Great White N...
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Posted 12/8/12
Pick up alcoholism for a month if you can afford it. Otherwise, sleep and lock yourself in a dark room.

Break-ups suck, man.
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30 / M / Ohio
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Posted 12/8/12

wwe wrote:

What do you do when you go though a breakup? What do you do when you dont want to breakup and want to keep the relationship going but your bf/gf wants to breakup with you? What was the worse breakup for you? How do you handle the breakup?



There's what I do and what I should do.

What I should do is ignore them, at least until I'm entirely over them. It is hard to completely get over someone you deeply cared about and I have found this is the best way to move on. I also find that it enables me to be in a better place if they want to reconsider in the future (and then, I'll be firm enough to know if that's in my best interests).

What do I do, though? I usually mope and the process of getting over them is prolonged by a while. Don't do that! You can never be certain about the future, but you're not ever going to recover or be strong enough if you are constantly reminded of what used to be.

That's my views on this, at least.
Posted 12/8/12
smoke weed with homies or drink vodka until i pass out, isolate myself for a while, abuse someone ( a friend with benefits or a slave) then just keep saying in my head " im a loser and no one would ever like or love me and ill be forever alone" and move on
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F
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Posted 12/9/12
I like being with someone who wants to be with me. I'm generally not a very emotional individual and tend to analyze situations, so if someone breaks up with me I tend to think I'm just that much closer to finding the person who will want to stick with me.
Remember that love isn't an emotion but an act; so even if you have strong feelings for someone, it does not mean that you will not feel that way for somebody else; hopefully someone who thinks the world of you.

Remember that you are worth the love of another individual. If someone doesn't want to be with me, I'd personally let them go. Find that person who deserves and desires your love.
Posted 12/9/12
I would let go with that person and move on with life..
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20 / F / LV.
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Posted 12/9/12
I usually go out a lot after a break up. It will be like a whole week of just being out.
After that it's weeks of laying in bed either bawling my eyes out or sleeping.
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20 / M / Seattle
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Posted 12/9/12 , edited 12/9/12
If you're a guy. Move on, go out, don't sulk. Cause your friends will think you're a little bitch.
Even if it hurts a bit.

And if you're looking for some alternatives.

Start smoking ciggarettes or
Grab a beer and relax.
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26 / M
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Posted 12/9/12
I ask them to make sure if they are sure. If they are I try to remember everything that was good in my life before I met them. This make it easier to stay happy without them around. Then I move on. Most people try to rebound. You can hang out with friends and laugh a lot - that can help you see how happy you can be on your own. I remember that I don't need anyone to be happy and appreciate the time I had with my (now) ex as a good experience that I had. I don't try to communicate with them afterwards because there is no need to. But if you do - dont have the communication be about your old relationship at all... in any way.
Banned
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34 / M / The Void.
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Posted 12/9/12

darkness81 wrote:

smoke weed with homies or drink vodka until i pass out, isolate myself for a while, abuse someone ( a friend with benefits or a slave) then just keep saying in my head " im a loser and no one would ever like or love me and ill be forever alone" and move on


You're a deluded little girl brainwashed by the mainstream media. You will get what you deserve in this lifetime.

irnogs 
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F / Seattle, WA
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Posted 12/9/12
Okay, the first thing you need to do is put down the phone. Stop talking to them. Even if they do change their mind at this point, it's not worth it. Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone that isn't sure they want to be with you? You deserve better than that! You don't want to spend the rest of your time with that person wondering if they're going to bring this up again, or change their mind again. The person you described sounds very immature and I'm sure you could do better. Break it off clean and move on.

As far as dealing with the break-up, there are a few things I found that helps:

1) Let yourself mourn a little, but try to be constructive. Analyze the good and the bad, make mental or physical lists if you'd like. Think about what worked and what didn't. Realize that not everybody is compatible on a romantic level, even if they're good as friends. Some traits or things they want in life will be deal breakers, it happens. This should all be from your point of view. It doesn't matter what they think or told you was wrong as long as you were yourself and tried your best. You usually aren't going to get a 100% honest answer from an ex anyway, they usually don't have the courage to be brutally honest.

2) Pick yourself up. Go have a spa day, get a new haircut, a manicure, whatever the pocketbook will allow for a little self indulgence. The point is to go back to feeling your best on your own. Try staying active and out of the house. Maybe join a gym, try yoga classes. Then, make reservations at a fancy restaurant by yourself or go to the opera or see a play (that he probably never wanted to do anyway), dress sexy and have the spendy wine at the bar, whatever makes you feel special. Enjoy the turning heads of the surrounding men and being single!

Most importantly, resist the urge to see him or get back together! It didn't work before, it won't work the next time either. He's not worth it and there are plenty of guys out there that will appreciate a confident woman that can stand on her own two feet. Confidence is key (see #2).

This is coming from a woman about the same age that had a couple of disastrous 2-3 year relationships, then a wonderful period of being single. I did SO many things on my own and learned so much during that time. I explored so much more on my own, which ended up leading me to the man that is now my husband. Since I'd learned so much about myself and learned how to be confident in a relationship, our marriage has been wonderful and we're almost 5 years in now! Just keep your head up and remember there's nothing wrong with being single, only with being with someone that doesn't appreciate you.

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F / West
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Posted 12/10/12
What do you do if the person you broke up with is demanding you get rid of all the mementos you had between you, such as emails and chats that were saved. They are in a new relationship and have moved on and think the private saved emails and chats all need to be destroyed so that they don't somehow hang over the new relationship the person is in. They say that it's "time" to get rid of all those things because they have moved on and have closure. Is it wrong to keep mementos/good memories from a broken relationship, and should the other person who moved on and broke things off be able to demand you get rid of them. Shouldn't you be allowed to keep them for as long as you want, until you yourself are ready to either keep them forever or dispose of them?
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24 / F / Rapture
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Posted 12/10/12

CalifCat wrote:

What do you do if the person you broke up with is demanding you get rid of all the mementos you had between you, such as emails and chats that were saved. They are in a new relationship and have moved on and think the private saved emails and chats all need to be destroyed so that they don't somehow hang over the new relationship the person is in. They say that it's "time" to get rid of all those things because they have moved on and have closure. Is it wrong to keep mementos/good memories from a broken relationship, and should the other person who moved on and broke things off be able to demand you get rid of them. Shouldn't you be allowed to keep them for as long as you want, until you yourself are ready to either keep them forever or dispose of them?


If it makes you feel better to keep them it is your business. You will feel loads better when you finally do let it all go but you have to be ready mentally to do that. Holding on to things physically means really you're holding onto things mentally, whether it is good memories that genuinely make you happy or good memories that make you miss the "old days". (can apply to all sorts of things but I only mentioned those two that are relevant)

So basically yes, they are your feelings and your memory cues so you should be the one who decides when you are ready to let go.
wwe
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30 / F / where all my drea...
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Posted 12/11/12



Hey not much and going ok

Well maybe he did or maybe not but imo the stuff he said on the reason why was a bit picky. I do know he has a good job and gets payed well so money is not the problem, it also could be that it is a long distance relationships. He lives up in Canada and I am from the US. Maybe it could be its just hard b/c we cant see each other the much and spend as much time as we like to, we can only see each other ever few months for 1 week. So maybe he wants more were we can spend more time with each other and be more like a real couple and not have to wait every few months. I not sure my self b/c he did not say that but maybe he dont want to and came up with some really picky reasons.








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