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Why do friends disappear when they get in a relationship?
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34 / M / The Void.
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Posted 12/4/12
It because you have become a lower or non priority. That's it.
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24 / F / singapore
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Posted 12/4/12
I have a lot of girl friends which are good listeners and funny people they are important in my lives and I wouldnt give them
Up for a guy That's why guys probably broke up with me few months later.. But I was the one initiated because I don't see of a guy doesn't cherish his friends when they are in a relationship with another girl, he would cherish his girlfriend when the time she has no use to him like eg; companionship, sex, emotional support, a tool for child bearing
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23 / M / Missouri
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Posted 12/4/12
One important factor after you start dating. Always drop friends of the opposite sex if you are a woman. Men are only unfaithful if their partner isn't showing them affection. As women seem to always start treating their guy like a tool after they think they've "secured" the relationship. Women cheat because the man has more money/ is an asshole/ likes to punch her in the face/ has too many tattoos and smokes crack. This is why husbands used to have to train their wives to be decent human beings. Now its illegal. And look at all these problems in the world. Ugh.
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F
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Posted 12/4/12
They don't disappear they just only spend less time with you.
My trick is I always keep my friends in my pocket whenever I go to dates.
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100 / F / Ozone
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Posted 12/4/12
Every once in awhile a person gets the "lightening bolt " effect.It's really bad when it's a simutaneous double strike.It disrupts neural pathways in the brain and releases massive amounts of supercharged endorphines creating for all intensive purposes what can be deemed as a love junky.Their vision is myopic and mindset is singularly obsessive.Scoring the next hit.24 hours a day is not nearly enough ;why is there not 36 or 48? They are heels over head in another reality.Luckily this period usually lasts only a couple of weeks,as they become more and more immune to the drug, and they usually come up for air and water after only a couple of days.Please be understanding and realize that it's an illness of sorts which is only painful if you try to seperate the two.If your friend still hasn't returned to you within 3-4 wks you should probably get everyone together for an intervention-you are friends after all.
kfx017 
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29 / M / Kentucky
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Posted 12/4/12
I only see my best friend one or two times a year and that's fine with me. We always pick up where we left off; like we were never really apart. Friendship seems to be so much better for me when experienced in small doses. I have discovered that I am much happier when I'm alone and solitude is often my true best friend.

I know that my last sentence may seem like a contradictory thing to say on this thread, but I've learned to face up to the fact that the world will eventually pull me and my friends apart from each other no matter what I do. I can share a little experience that might help open your mind to the alternatives to friendship.

I was in a very serious relationship once, and it caused me to spend very little time with anyone except that person. For a long time, I truly loved her; but I later realized that she never loved me at all and was just using me. She taught me that a heart is not a thing to share lightly and that trust must be doled out in the smallest measures you can give. I devoted so much time to her because I didn't want to lose her and all I wanted was for her to be happy, but she betrayed me and I'm alone and very wary of opening up to anyone now. I used to want to have friends nearby to confide in, but I decided that no one really cares and my best friend (who does care) who lives far away can only give limited support because of the distance between us. My ex-girlfriend almost took away all my faith in human companionship and makes me think that most serious relationships that people get themselves into (romantic or friendly) are all just voluntary power struggles. I choose not to participate in power struggles.

I'm not saying to abandon friendship; but I did have to re-define it for myself because of my experiences. When I'm with a true friend, my friend doesn't have to do anything to make me happy. Just being around a true friend (sharing their presence) is enough to give me joy.
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20 / F / West Coast
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Posted 12/4/12
Beats me. Who needs relationships when you have friends?

*Sniffs* FOREVER ALONE.
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18 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 12/4/12
Because a friend doesnt want to hear sweet nothings whispered into their hears with the lights off.
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66 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 12/4/12
With time all things return to normal. This is true in relationships. Two key ingredients are TIME and SPACE. Think of these as subsets in the game of life. Eventually your friend will notice you again. If your relationship is unconditional that distance will not be of great import. However, if conditions exist (i.e. your friendship isn't 100% altruistic, there are strings attached aka "conditions") you will have work to do.....on yourself.
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Posted 12/4/12
Well then they aren't good friends now are they! I've had the same problem... I'm sure there are a lot of people who are, or who have experienced this... but if they were your true friends then they might just come around.
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M / In the middle of...
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Posted 12/4/12


You are completely right.

I simply had a few bad experienced where I was in middle of studying in collage, doing some part time job, working out twice a week and dodging bullets. While some lazy bastard was sitting on his ass, receiving social help and doing nothing, not even bothering to hit the gym once a week. On top of that I was constantly asked to hang out and it was expected of me to come with some fun solution to where we should hang out and what we should do.
Things got better when he got a gf, not by much though.
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19 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 12/5/12

ZingFreelancer wrote:



You are completely right.

I simply had a few bad experienced where I was in middle of studying in collage, doing some part time job, working out twice a week and dodging bullets. While some lazy bastard was sitting on his ass, receiving social help and doing nothing, not even bothering to hit the gym once a week. On top of that I was constantly asked to hang out and it was expected of me to come with some fun solution to where we should hang out and what we should do.
Things got better when he got a gf, not by much though.


I assume this lazy bastard was the one who got a girlfriend? He managed that? Huh. Yeah, being expected to come up with every fun solution (presumably by yourself) is a hassle.

Posted 12/5/12
Brainwashed
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Posted 12/5/12
It's kinda easy. They like that person and it is ultimately more fulfilling for them spending time with whoever they are in a relationship with than with who they always hang out with. It's sad yeah but just be there for if it goes bad because that's what decides whether your a true friend or not.
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28 / M / USA
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Posted 12/5/12
Take it from someone who IS that guy. We don't do it because we want to ditch ya'all. Quite the contrary, in fact. Between work, school and balancing our intimate relations with our S.O. It's hard to hang with the bros. We try to make time, but sometimes it's just plain hard.

My suggestion to you is this: Talk to him or her about it. Try to find a happy medium that you - and by extent all of your friends - can agree upon. Maybe one day a week where you hang out with him or her.
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