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Why do friends disappear when they get in a relationship?
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 12/5/12
Because... if you keep those friends... they might start sleeping around with your newfound love.


Happens all the time in movies.
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F / West
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Posted 12/5/12

GayAsianBoy wrote:

Because... if you keep those friends... they might start sleeping around with your newfound love.


Happens all the time in movies.


yea, or she might sleep with all your gaming friends. so better to isolate with each other, and have a relationship based on insecurities. neato.
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83 / M / Have you seen a r...
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Posted 12/5/12
basically for guys, we need to please the demanding one, and so much focus is on her. WHAT THE ENERGY WE GOT FOR FRIENDS? problem lies not with guys, but both party. And for girls, when they got into love, they can handle other relationship because time is their best friend. GET IT? BOYS CARRY THEIR BAGS, MAKE SURE THEY EAT, MAKE SURE THEY ARE HAPPY, REMEMBER DATES FOR THEM. we are their secretary, maid, baby-sitter. So it really depends. Look at the girl and then you know what's wrong with the guy. We tried
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83 / M / Have you seen a r...
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Posted 12/5/12

GayAsianBoy wrote:

Because... if you keep those friends... they might start sleeping around with your newfound love.


Happens all the time in movies.


He's gay. And gays like orgy. It happens. No offense.
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24 / M
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Posted 12/5/12
Well your partner is a friend if I am not correct? Its normally just harder to juggle the two. For me not being married I tend to not hang out with guys I know that are married or become married least I not become the topic of a cheater. Also when you lose a good friend just like you lose a girl friend/boy friend you move on and meet new people.
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 12/5/12
When I started dating the woman who would later become my ex-wife, she was already in my gaming group. If anything, we'd spent even more time around our friends, at least for the first year after we got together. At that point, her family moved to another state, and I moved to follow her (a decision I probably should have skipped, in hindsight.)

By the time we'd returned to California a few years and several moves later, we'd lost touch with almost everyone I knew. Our group went their separate ways soon after we'd moved away, which I suppose is a common enough occurrence. Hell, the only one I'm still in contact with from back then is my best friend, and I've known her for 20 years.
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22 / M / Elsewhere
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Posted 12/5/12
I don't really have all that much first-hand experience when it comes to relationships, but I'm a master at guessing. That, and a good friend of mine has been in a relationship for three years now.

And really, I must say, you're right. After he met his girlfriend at a particular annual Halloween concert, he went from hanging out with me every single Thursday (I know, random day, but it was our thing) to hanging out with me once every fourteen months. It kind of sucked, he was my best friend. But you know what? It wasn't all that bad. His girlfriend's a total sweetheart, and they're both very, very happy. And if he's happy, then as a friend, I should be happy for him, right? Being in a mutual love with someone changes your life, I would think, would make you really happy. And when you've got a mutual love with someone, they instantly become the most important person in your life. And when you have someone who you know for sure is the most important person in your life, you'll start to dedicate all of your time to them. They're a serious priority--and they're not the only ones who feel that--your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend has the same sudden change in priorities.

Basically, when people with mutual love realize that that love exists, they suddenly have mutual priorities. And when you, as a spectator, see that this mutual love really exists, that's when you can see that the relationship is true.

And that's why best friends on both sides of the relationship seem to suddenly fall through.

But that doesn't mean the entire relationship is lost.

Let's say your best friend has suddenly found a loved one, and changes his/her priorities drastically almost immediately. You lose touch with your best friend, and lose the time that you would normally spend with him/her, but you still get to know and become friends with that person's loved one. Now, let's say that you find a loved one--and you and your new loved one decide to arrange a double-date of some sort with your old friend and their loved one. There's a very, very good chance that this could lead to what you used to have with your best friend, and it would be almost completely the same, but now you have more things in common--you each have a loved one.

And then, assuming that there're two girls and two guys in the two relationships, you finally find yourself in what I'll call a square relationship. I hate to describe things like this, so here's a quick diagram that I've whipped up:



And that's the result. The squares are one side relationship, and the circles are the other. The blue ones are boys, the pink ones, girls.

Sorry, I'm going to stop right here. While I was making that diagram, I realized that I was probably going way too overboard with this post.
But if you still want to hear what else I have to say about it, feel free to shoot me a message!
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20 / F
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Posted 12/5/12
'Friends' tend to drift away its understandable as they get busy.
My best close mates... no.

Loads things change 'how much u SEE each oother' but they dont change how 'CLOSE' we are.
I mean i get busy with work and things like that n on weekends sometimes i want 'ME' time,
but me n my friends understand each other, also theyre as busy as i am.

We just go with the flow, they randomly cum over, i go over.
We link when we can and we're always calling and texting.
Also that day u do spend time makes up for the whole time u dint see'em like u saw them 'yesterday'

Having a relationship doesnt change that, i mean we have our own 'relationship' that cant just be cut off.

Also the people she has a relationship with tend to hear my name a few times, :/
So they figure it comes with the package of being with her. :P
I dont force my way in though, n let them have their time. after all, u just wish ur friends to be happy,
its nice to see'em all lovey dovey. though i jokingly take the mick n teasem. <3

Lol essay.
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Posted 12/5/12
They're too busy boning.

No, seriously. I had a friend who got into a relationship and spent her spare time having sex. Haven't heard from her in months.


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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 12/6/12

Santhor wrote:


GayAsianBoy wrote:

Because... if you keep those friends... they might start sleeping around with your newfound love.


Happens all the time in movies.


He's gay. And gays like orgy. It happens. No offense.


Because straight people aren't promiscuous, right?

Straight people have 0% divorce rate, right?
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33 / M / The Universal Con...
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Posted 12/6/12

GayAsianBoy wrote:


Santhor wrote:


GayAsianBoy wrote:

Because... if you keep those friends... they might start sleeping around with your newfound love.


Happens all the time in movies.


He's gay. And gays like orgy. It happens. No offense.


Because straight people aren't promiscuous, right?

Straight people have 0% divorce rate, right?


He was being sarcastic, man. Don't believe in movies, unless you were being sarcastic, too.

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23 / M
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Posted 12/6/12
cause sex is better than friends
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Posted 12/6/12

DangerousYams wrote:

WHEN THEY HAVE KIDS.


I do have a kid and I still see my friends and family. The problem is when people have kids they're like, oh sorry I can't go out because my kid is sleeping ... Bullshit. I mean he can sleep where ever you take it. It's a matter of fact on how you change as a person when you get engaged and/or have kid(s). Because when you are with your friends, trust me it will be a very good moment and you'll enjoy it for sure. Every one is going to entertain your kid and play with him/her. So don't change keep doing what you were doing before having a child.

Sorry for my english btw ...
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21 / M
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Posted 12/6/12
Good question
I would probably spend less time with my friends, as I have already built up enough trust that the relationship doesn't need to be maintained as much. I could run into my best friend after a year of never speaking a word to them and still be best buds, in other words the cost of maintaining a social contract decreases over time. This theory also applies to parents and siblings.
However with a relationship, the cost of maintenance is very, very high, the other(female half) often craves attention, and the relationship would rapidly deteriorate if not constantly attended to. Love is a stronger emotion that camaraderie anyway, we are evolutionary wired to care more about our significant other than good acquaintances, it evokes desires that can only be satisfied by one person, and the relationship could possibly lead to greater rewards such as marriage and children and hence time spent on it can be considered an investment.
Most of the little surplus time that remains is probably spent in solitude, like watching TV, to give the social component of the mind a break.
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27 / M
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Posted 12/6/12
My friends and I mostly ignore each other regardless of relationship statuses. At least we're consistent.
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