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Why do friends disappear when they get in a relationship?
Sharb8 
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23 / M / Los Angeles / Hun...
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Posted 12/6/12
I hate this bs myself. Happens every time. Its worse with girls, they will ditch you the first day they get into a relationship lol
But yes, I agree. Anyone who will not allow you to see or talk to your friends are not worth being with.
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24 / M / SoCal, HB
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Posted 12/6/12
Happens all the time, I had "friends" in middle and high school, they get a girlfriend, they disappear *le poof*

my "friends", just used me to get stuff, like homework, geta shoes, website building, money, ect. Psh I'd be hanging with my "best friend" he just stands up and says, "Hey I'm going to a party later..." or going to girlfriends place, smoke weed somewhere or whatever... <_<

so my conclusion, I'ma stay home play some Skyrim/MMO's and watch anime...
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22 / M / Denmark
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Posted 12/6/12 , edited 12/6/12
Well in my case most of my friends started doing drugs LOL so in that way im glad i kinda "abandoned" them, but i had school in a different town, while others did what they did, was still together with 2 of my friends quite alot, but my weekends were pretty the only time i could see my gf since she lived so far away from me

From time to time i still had to like choose, and so did she, buut it was like if we chose anything but eachother it would end up being just us thinking bout eachother and not really enjoying ourselves, i remember one weekend where i went to my gfs place etc, then saturday (i arrived friday) my friend called me up and said hey lets go play some games etc etc, and tbh i didnt want to leave her, but i also didnt want to say no, i ended up going cuz my gf said for me to choose so i did, but i just couldnt enjoy myself there, and kinda regretted going.

So in the end its how much you love your friends vs your partner, and obv your partner is gonna come first most of the time, but its not really just up to the person in the relationship to keep in contact, a new partner fills incredible much in ones life, so the other person should also accept that and still try to be there :)


Also for most girls, they feel like they cant have any guy friends while they have a bf, and its understandable aswell tbh ^^' and some guys will go right out and just tell their gfs they dont want em to have guy friends So girls disappearing shouldnt really be that mysterious imo, guys just can handle that much at one time, idk if its the same with girls but frm what i've experienced they still tend to have alot of friends just mainly girls ^^'
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33 / M / ICQ: 114629959
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Posted 12/6/12
Nothing new. You can observe this regularly.
Maybe it is to much dedication or to avoid any jealousy from b/gf ... who knows. In the end it goes down to character-weakness.
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23 / Malaysia
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Posted 12/6/12
It's because they want to focus and make the brand new relationship grow. Besides, since it's all new, things are exciting and and just face it, people want to shower his/her significant with attention and uh, devotion in order to strengthen the relationship. And there's only so much time - 24 hours a day - to do a lot of things: work, romance, resting, socializing with friends and stuff.

Another thing is that the guy/girl who recently got into a relationship might have the thought that her "friends" should understand his/her "situation" at the moment, and thus should give him/her some leeway to hang out more with his/her significant other.

Personally, I don't mind if my friends spend more time with their respective boyfriends or girlfriends, because man, who wouldn't want to spend more time with the one they love? It's basically human instincts. Just remember to make up some time for your friends to chill out and have fun too, and then you can go back to your guy/girl without anybody complaining.

It's all about balance, well, theoretically anyways. If you have some possessive "friends" then that's another story.
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27 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 12/7/12
Relationships are a lot of work obviously. As most people pointed out, there's only so many hours in a day. You spend a good chunk of it working, sleeping, and getting to and from places.

Once people end up with a significant other, especially in the beginning there's that euphoric feeling and neither of you get tired of being around one another. Then once things start going downhill they over-compensate and try to save it by spending even more time together to rekindle the flame.

Plus if you think about it, especially if you're living with your bf/gf, it's more convenient to hang out with them than try and get your friends together. I've noticed once people get into a relationship, they tend to get more lazy and let themselves go.
Posted 12/7/12 , edited 12/7/12
People are far less busy than they say. It just happens to be the most convenient excuse to most. Sometimes they even believe so, but being busy is hardly the case.

Our minds work this way, you can do a task twice as slow and still think you spent the same time otherwise. If you can't make your perspectives and views a little more objective, you're dragged in a fast flowing time. Something I've always wanted because of boredom.
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21 / F / canada
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Posted 12/7/12
i know right!!!! i was really close to my friend until a year ago when she got her boyfirend and forgot everyone esle around her!! makes me so mad when i think about it. but whatever life just goes on...
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23 / F / Rapture
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Posted 12/7/12
Friends come and go no matter the circumstances. Relationships, like life, don't last forever. A lot times you can prolong a friendship with effort but for the most part all you can do is cherish the time you had and look forward to meeting new people when you either fade away or outgrow eachother.
Posted 12/25/12
They disappear when you finish University too, some get jobs and some don't and naturally there is a divide
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16 / M / Canada
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Posted 12/28/12
Real friends don't do that. Apparently, they get their girlfriend and hang out with us.
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F / ♬アメリカ//東京
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Posted 12/28/12
This always happens though。
All the times I've gone through it was when a female friend started dating,
she would just toss all her friends aside。。

I understand you wanna spend time with your partner but to toss all of your friends aside
in one go。。?
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29 / M / Bellingham WA, USA
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Posted 12/29/12 , edited 12/29/12
I just have to make friends with their girlfriends and wives and then I see them even more than before. Luckily for me I'm a likable enough person to pull that off.

My best friends I've known since childhood and we've been through a lot; weddings, funerals, births, etc. So I doubt there will be any large rifts any time soon.
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F / philippines
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Posted 12/29/12
bcoz people in relationships tend to focus on the one they love and seem to want to spend all their time with them...
which is really wrong...
coz who do these people run to when thay break up with their beau???
their friends... who they only seem to remember during the heartbreak...
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Posted 12/29/12
I usually have a group of friends that I tend to stick around with, so even if one of our friends from the group gets into a relationship they tend to bring them to us and everyone usually gets along.

On the off chance that that person splits from the group, a few months later they usually come back to us as after they break up because we're always there for a shoulder to cry on. Plus, when they're our friend we would never turn them away.

Even if they did decide to leave us, we usually accept and understand why they did it.
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