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Why do friends disappear when they get in a relationship?
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24 / M / Planet Earth
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Posted 12/29/12
In my opinion I think it's because they think you don't have enough time to hang out with them anymore since now your in a relationship. Though it can be way more things like maybe there Jealous because there not in a relationship or maybe they hate the person your dating who knows it could be alot of different things
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M / in the underworld...
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Posted 12/29/12

CalifCat wrote:

They start a new relationship and basically vanish from their friendships, the people who were there for them when they didn't have one. They complained when friends abandoned them for a relationship, and then turn around and do the same thing they didn't like done to them.
Why can't people do both? Have a relationship and keep friends? Why dump friends?


It makes it harder if there single, they want there friends to be single to so there not alone. Some times the friend who just became a couple changes. They some times feel they lost there friend to this person. people should always stay who they are regardless whom they date. Some times there jealous and wish they found someone too. There is many reasons just not many good reasons why. LOL your the queen of the forums and post. as I once ask how to make a grate topic in the forums people said to ask you, With good reason.
Posted 12/29/12

CalifCat wrote:

They start a new relationship and basically vanish from their friendships, the people who were there for them when they didn't have one. They complained when friends abandoned them for a relationship, and then turn around and do the same thing they didn't like done to them.
Why can't people do both? Have a relationship and keep friends? Why dump friends?


Cause it's hard to do both.. There are many reasons why. You better ask that friend of yours :)
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Posted 12/29/12 , edited 12/29/12
Well, in a few cases we can safely say that the female "friend" was using the male friend as an emotional tampon. Once she found a guy she was interested in, she bailed. Don't be that guy.

In others, they're so enthralled by each other that they simply don't want to spend time with anyone else. This usually fades after anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 years. This is referred to as the "in love" phase, during which logic doesn't exist, 'cause they scooped each other's brains out and filled each other's head with tapioca pudding. Maybe chocolate.

Can't blame them, really, and can't do anything about it. It goes away naturally, and then they return to their friendships the way a normal person might.

Others still are more comfortable in multi-friend situations, and like being around lots of people. Couples like this usually never fall out of contact with their friends and are constantly setting up get-togethers.

Some people are in relationships with controlling or jealous people, and they don't want their partners talking to or hanging out with anyone else. For a while they'll comply, but eventually they wise up and move on. Then you get your friend back.

In perfectly reasonable, healthy relationships, both parties know how to maintain both friendships and a relationship. They know that devoting all of their time to one person isn't healthy, first of all, and it tends to burn them out on a person very quickly. Then the relationship is boring.

And some, as another poster pointed out, are spending their free time boning. It's not a bad way to pass the time.
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19 / F / HK
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Posted 12/30/12
Cause boys are worth it.

Not.
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29 / M / Las Vegas
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Posted 12/30/12
Some people feel like they cant be themselves in a relationship. Thats the first mistake they make when they enter a relationship with a significant other. They feel like they have to abandon their friends because they have to make their life about the person they are dating or married to. I compare people who leave their friends for their significant other to people who get tattoos of their significant other's name in an attempt to show their love. Its stupid and really shows how much you dont care. Some people are just all about appearances. They will change and stop doing the things they used to do. The things that make them who they are and then complain that they lost themselves and blame it on the person they are with.

Personally, I would never change who I am for ANYONE. I told my ex wife and every girl that I have been with since the same thing: "My friends, anime and video games were here before you, and they are going to be here when you leave too so you have 3 choices... Run wit it, run from it, or get run the f*ck over."
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33 / F / Maryland
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Posted 12/30/12
Because people are idiots when it comes to relationships. I currently have people I use to call friends who disappeared after entering a relationship. It's like that other person is more important to them than anyone else. Sadly to say in the end when the relationship is over they no longer have the friend or friends they had because they focus all their time on that person.

I believe having a relationship you can focus on both friendships and the relationship. However if the relationship doesn't like your friendship, well hell there is always more out there and for friendships, you can replace them as easy as a relationship.

(Sorry a bit bitter due to current circumstances with a former friend who spends more time with her relationship than with me. I haven't seen or spoken to her in several months. She only calls me to brag about something. I haven't been in a relationship in 6 years so call me jealous if you want but I am not)
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15 / F / In Alois Trancy's...
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Posted 12/30/12
Because love is selfish. Once you push away everything else that's important to you and focus on your loved one like they wanted you to, they'll declare a break-up because you are too clingy. This is why you must go on the path of 2D.
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17 / F / Guangzhou (but im...
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Posted 1/1/13
its not that they dump you.. it is that they have bad time management.. you as the friend must understand there is another realationship they have to commit to, it is a whole nother level kind of thing, its connecting with someone in a way you wouldnt with friends thats why time may be spent more with partners, you have to learn to accept it or talk about with them is all
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25 / Behind you
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Posted 1/1/13
I know why... Because your new gf or bf kills all of your friends so they can have you all to themselves.
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F / Earth
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Posted 1/1/13 , edited 1/1/13
It's just the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship. When it ends or cools off, they'll be back. Just think of them as gone on sabbatical. Keep in touch via email or FB. If it doesn't end, and they end up getting married, just wish them luck and move on. That's life, people change and grow apart.

Another thing, I once had a boyfriend who didn't want me around his friends anymore (I was getting along well with them though). He was getting jealous/overprotective because his friends liked me, even though it wasn't a romantic type of like.
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Posted 1/1/13
Cause you become independent and to most people that's threatening or its usually from your friends telling you what to do and how do it, losing hold that over you as you become your own person or your female companions bitch.
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20 / M
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Posted 3/29/13
Bunch of fake friends.
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F / Earth
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Posted 4/2/13
They're so focused on the one they like they forget about others. Also, their special one may not like their friends.
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Posted 4/2/13
This never really happens to me. All my friends seem to choose me and their other friends over their boyfriends/girlfriends. xD

Except one of my really close guy friends. We do have somewhat of an awkward tension, because we dated - ALONGG time ago. But the feelings are still kinda there. And he's even told me he's afraid of "falling for me" again, when he has a girlfriend. Which is a bummer... I formed a band with him during the course of last year, and now we barely jam anymore.
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