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is there a santa?
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M / 20.0167° N, 155.6...
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Posted 12/13/12
Is there a Santa?
(from an engineering standpoint)

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renown scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about. .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -
If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
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Posted 12/13/12
All of this is irrelevant though, since Santa can stop time. I thought that was common sense.
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Posted 12/13/12
His handwriting looks just like my mom's.
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37 / M / Charleston, SC
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Posted 12/13/12
I've actually seen this before and it still makes me laugh. TY for the fun post, not at all what I thought it would be from the title.
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33 / M / The Universal Con...
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Posted 12/13/12
I know who Santa is.
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26 / X / Rochester, NY
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Posted 12/13/12
LOL! Omg this was a fun read <3
Thank you for that
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21 / M / With Lucina
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Posted 12/13/12
For some reason, this feels like an ad for me to watch Rise of the Guardians...
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Posted 12/14/12
Santa is as real as God is.
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17 / M / Tórshavn
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Posted 12/14/12
Heck yeah there is! And I know, because I live close by the north pole, I see him fly over our country each year! xD
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17 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 12/14/12

DetectiveAlex wrote:

Santa is as real as God is.


And for 16 straight years i was dead set on santa being fake.

:excl: lets keep from debating, it was just a joke. *coughs gods real* Woah, that was one effed up cough right there.



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M / USA
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Posted 12/14/12
Never let anyone tell you that math isn't fun.
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19 / M / Boston Mass
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Posted 12/14/12
hehehe, couldn't agree with you more
Posted 12/14/12
Santa is Chuck Norris of course.
xhairy 
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Posted 12/14/12

-Vega- wrote:

Santa is Satan obviously and Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ.





all hail obama .....zieg hial zieg hial zieg hial ....lmfao
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33 / M / The Universal Con...
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Posted 12/14/12 , edited 12/14/12

xhairy wrote:


-Vega- wrote:

Santa is Satan obviously and Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ.





all hail obama .....zieg hial zieg hial zieg hial ....lmfao


I know, man! That's how the zombies are viewing him. They think he's the savior, but he is the opposite.

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